LuciusMcGibbon

The earliest I can ever watch this movie again is around 2040 when my son reaches adulthood.

As a parent, here's my review: why is this movie? I want to know why this movie is. It's a fine piece of cinema, and I never ever wish to have it inflicted on me again. End of review.

Maybe I'm just a **** for speedster-type superheroes, but this is a decently fun movie... Even with Ezra Miller's latent creep factor and the uncanny valley CGI that makes you want to take your own eyes.

Knew nothing about it going in, quite enjoyed. It's a really tight watch with an awesomely simple hero/goal/obstacle dynamic, and a uniquely badass main character. Not enough movies like this.

Ooooh, so the quantum realm just looks and behaves like an alien planet... That's real interesting and unexpected and totally worth two hours of my time. This definitely needed to be an Ant-Man movie. I definitely don't want to hurt my brain with anything as imaginative or intriguing as the first one.

Not bad at all, considering I was expecting a wildly different type of movie. First Anya Taylor-Joy performance since The Witch that didn't annoy me. Nice to see social commentary done with taste. And the ending had me going "huh, that's it?" at first, but it resonates the more you think back on it.

I've been watching horror movies for 35 years, and I am very hard to please. This movie pleased me. I might have benefited from going in totally blind, but this movie took all my expectations and f***ed them to death in the street. Justin Long certainly knows how to pick his projects.

Easily top three in the franchise, but then again the franchise is 50% crap... New Pinhead, actually very good. Overall, no major criticisms. It doesn't get lost in its own BS like even the good ones sometimes do. It's a leaner, more linear movie which probably makes it the casual viewer's choice for Hellraisers.

If you enjoyed this movie, you are not a Halloween fan. Which is perfectly okay, that doesn't diminish your knowledge or appreciation for good horror... but just don't go around saying you are because to a true Halloween fan, you're embarrassing yourself. As a lifetime Halloween fanatic (i.e. a Michael Myers buff) who was very much invested in the last two movies, Ends is like waking up on Christmas morning to a Festivus pole. If you expect this movie to reward you or resolve any of the story so far, then prepare to have the bluest balls you have ever had. It might have value as a movie on its own, but to have this as the trilogy capper (complete with a randomly pasted-on climactic fight) is unforgivably lazy. To have Michael at the height of his powers at the end of Kills, only to lead into *this* version of him... what a giant, neon middle finger. They just froze and gave up as if they forgot how storytelling works. They really thought they could take us for a ride, kick us out of the car two thirds of the way there and go off-road. Hey ding dongs, FIRST you finish what you started, THEN in a few years you try your little alternate Michael-verse side-quest concept crap.

Trust me, anybody who gives this movie a 0 to 3 review is the type who gets mad at a steak for not being a sloppy Joe. They just want something simple, familiar and predictable, so when they don't get it, they get confused and upset. And that's okay, there's always Starship Troopers and ID4. All I can say is Jordan Peele has yet to give me anything I've seen before. This is a satisfyingly off-beat alien movie with the kind of story that can be as deep or as shallow as you want it to be. Yes, the plot does kinda just stroll along at times, but it never gets tedious and it does pay off nicely. And that one scene is just gonna be carved my memory forever. More than anything, it's NOT a paint-by-numbers UFO flick. Be forewarned.

This is the most unabashedly absurd movie I've seen in my entire life. It's just a yarn ball of ridiculousness in my memory now, but I know this: I am entertained, I am refreshed, and I might even be a bit of a better person.

Honestly, there's no need for this movie to exist, let alone be this long. It's not great, it's not terrible, it's just there. For three hours. Basically a thematic mashup of the Dark Knight trilogy trying to make itself more down to earth by nerfing Batman's tech tree and making John Turturro one of the bad guys.

What I expressly feared in my review of the original Venom came to pass with the sequel: the studio continued to shy away from a true R rating and managed to make a Carnage movie with no carnage whatsoever. Meanwhile, what this all boils down to is a repeat exercise in "Eddie and Venom bicker, then do battle with another, meaner symbiote." Even Woody Harrelson is nowhere near enough to make this an interesting watch.

6.5 ..... Guys, you just got through telling us that none of the Halloween sequels ever happened.... But you still wanna write a story about torches and pitchforks in Haddonfield. So you're telling me the entire town is irreparably scarred by the mythical spectre of someone who killed *three people* 40 years earlier... Not buying it. The audience might have been through decades of Michael mayhem, but this timeline has not, and having Haddonfield act this way is just cheating. You stole your characters' core wound from the canon you just abandoned. Still, I'm a fool for anything with Michael Myers, and just on that basis alone, I give this movie marks for some damn fine kill scenes. Also I may have a soft spot since my son was born the day this released.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Wow, it's... it's a good Justice League movie. It's sad and alarming to know that the people in charge chose to defecate the Whedon cut into theatres when we could have had this all along. Long as hell, ponderous at several points, and still probably the most drastically improved alternate cut in Hollywood history. Strong 7.

**Spoiler alert sorta maybe** This is one of those movies that accomplishes 100% of its goals through brute force emotional exploitation. The first half is all about suspense and psychology, and even if it doesn't do the most delicate or original job of setting up the close, it's not a total waste of the first hour, I guess. Then we transition into almost a second movie that fits neatly in the revenge fantasy section. By the time it was over, it generally succeeded at dragging me through the protagonist's mucked up mind from normal to terror to wrath to shame. I wouldn't call the shock factor cheap but it was definitely laid on like one inch of Nutella on a half-inch slice of bread. You can clearly feel yourself being led... which makes it hard for one's socks to be truly blown off. But I did feel dirty when the credits rolled... so mission accomplished. Average but not unwelcome.

Cartoonish and wooden all at once... but watchable as long as you can stand the newfound (and likely unwelcome) camp factor. On the plus side, the main bad guy is a delicious burn on a certain somebody... the over-ambitious, failed business dork who stumbles into unparalleled power and brings the country to its knees in a whirlwind of his own insecurity. Wow.

The payoff is semi-interesting, but the build-up is just too plodding to be worth it. The horror beats are PG-13 at best, but I guess they deserve some mild applause for trying to play a different tune for once, kinda sorta. Also, Magik apparently has the power to teleport her eastern European accent in and out of limbo at random.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Rob Zombie's Michael Myers is brought back to life when two necrophiliac rednecks drive a van into a cow. And that tells you all you need to know about this movie's storytelling, craft, execution, watchability, and general case for existing.

Re-watched this in the Halloween spirit, and I don't know why anybody would give this movie a hard time. It takes an interesting path through a story all its own, the baddie still holds up to this day, and Justin Long plays one of the best terrified teens roles I've seen in my many years as a horror fan. Scary? Meh, how many movies really are anymore? All I know is it has its own welcome place in the horror section, still highly watchable to this day.

Maybe I enjoyed this movie more because I went in knowing absolutely nothing about it... Part of the fun was slowly realizing what kind of story I was dealing with, so I imagine it wouldn't have felt like such an Easter egg if I had seen trailers or plot hints ahead of time. So I don't really have to wonder why the overall reception was so lukewarm. But I liked it just fine. The story development isn't all that deep, but the angle is so darn fresh (which you wouldn't expect from basically a DC opposite sketch) and the set pieces don't disappoint... (howdy, Sheriff.) I'm actually hankering for more, although I don't think a sequel would work.

The acting is lame, the soundtrack is so 80's it almost stinks of Hulkamania, the effects have aged so, so badly, and the story is a pretty under-cooked goulash of low-hanging horror tropes. And yet it works... somehow... This movie doesn't take itself seriously for one moment, which makes it fully watchable and, dare I say, fun. It really doesn't do much to elevate Craven's resume, and yet I just can't bring myself to dislike this movie.

CM Punk's acting is so wooden that his screen presence increases 1000% when you pause the movie. That said, if you can make it through the first half of the movie which I've disdainfully dubbed "This Old House with Phil Brooks," there are a few scenes that try to entertain, and the third act tries to stick the landing in an interesting way. The operative word here is try. It's all just so aggressively passable... but at least the bogeywoman looked okay.

It was no Suicide Squad, so it has that going for it. Otherwise it's just a middle of the road movie that generally avoids falling on its face as it admirably but lazily tries to work DC's character development muscles out of atrophy. The other three titular Birds tend to blend into the wallpaper of Harley's character arc, Zsasz is extremely un-Zsasz-like, and the story repeatedly tries too hard to pull off the same old beats, but I can't give it too much crap. Anytime DC makes a movie that achieves mere passability, I stop and take notice. This was the comic book movie equivalent of iceberg lettuce with a few croutons of fun sprinkled on top.

This movie takes anything interesting, scary or artful about the original Grudge movies (Japan and US alike,) shoves it all through the sausage press of western teenie horror and leaves you with an unrecognizable, vanilla-drenched pile of yawnable jump scares that has the nerve to call itself The Grudge because they kept the shower scene. End of review.

A challenging character exploration executed with a deft hand. A lot of movies will waste your time. This movie will not. End of review.

At the very least, it answers the question "why reboot Child's Play so soon after the last Chucky movie?" It's a modernized origin, very different in flavor, and I don't mind the change at all. Actually the very first instigating scene is completely ridiculous, but easily forgotten as the movie picks up steam. The kills will stand out in my memory, and the overall plot direction is serviceable enough. It kept me watching, but at the end of it all, it could have been a bit more. The setup to the ending promises the world, but what it delivers never rises above "just fine." And Mark Hamill was excellent, duh. I give it a strong 6.

Mega meh. I mean, it's not a bad looking movie, and the first half had me watching simply by not being an awful remake. Lithgow as Judd is... sorta okay. The Creeds are... adequately acted. Gage is... pretty dang Gage-y, actually. I had no beef with this remake until it started making promises it couldn't keep. It's clear these guys want the viewer to expect their expectations subverted... but they don't actually have any good tricks beyond the okey-doke itself. Several times, the movie seems to pull a head fake and scream "ha! fooled you! That's not what happens at all!" Which is fun for a moment (more so if you saw '89,) until the actual follow-through throws it all away by being so lame it's lämé. One major twist I welcomed with open arms, but by the time it played out I was wondering how the heck I ever thought this was a good idea. If this movie was a basketball player, it would continuously cross you out of your shoes before immediately turning the ball over. The final shot of the movie scores a few points with me, it is a top-notch 30 seconds. But the stuff that led up to it... meh, I say. MEH!!

Yeah I was way more entertained by this movie than I had any business being. DC is actually standing on its own legs for the first time since they started chasing Marvel. It delivers as a comedy, and for once it actually feels like somebody stopped and tried to make something unique out of the subject matter. Also, I would like to congratulate DC on their first interesting villain since Zod. I normally understand that everybody has their tastes, but I'm genuinely puzzled to see that some people were disappointed with this movie. Indifferent, maybe... but to actually dislike it is weird to me. The bus scene was a bit much though.

It has the most recognizable team of X-people all fleshed out and in one place, Professor X is his recognizable self right from the first frame, and the action scenes continue to please when they come along. Nightcrawler enters full ass-kicking mode and it's just great. Unfortunately it's a second failed attempt to faithfully bring the Dark Phoenix story to the screen. It kind of borrows from all the right places for a bit before veering off on its own. It's not that it's bad, it's just derivative at best. By the time it's over, it leaves you feeling like it should have been way more than it was. It really never hits that crescendo you would want for the franchise. Worth watching, could have been better. Sophie Turner's accent is fine.

Meh. Pretty warmed over stuff for a Phase 3 movie. Not terrible, but not the most scintillating use of 2 hours either. End of review.

This movie was quite enjoyable a few years ago, but now it's completely unwatchable unless you fast forward past the offensive scenes. I can't relax to this movie anymore unless they release an Amber-free cut.

I've watched this movie and reviewed it several times over, and this is my lasting takeaway. Green and McBride's biggest claim to fame with this movie is that they didn't insult the Halloween franchise, which is more than can be said for 5, 6, Resurrection and Rob Zombie. They realized that there was great value in abandoning the bullcrap that had been piled onto the original over the years, and they proceeded to make a movie with so much less fat on it. Good on them. The problem is simply this: they still haven't come any closer to that feeling that sets Halloween apart from any other slasher. They didn't embrace simplicity. They barely gave Michael any of that "he likes to watch" magic. They couldn't resist the temptation to get pretty damn gory. They paced it like a modern movie, which means a lot of moving and shaking from scene to scene. Perfectly enjoyable (hey, it's more Michael,) but shows no deeper understanding of what would have made this a truly momentous horror experience. I don't rate it as any more noteworthy or laudable than H20 was 20 years ago. And for the record, Halloween 4 is still the most accomplished sequel in terms of being tonally faithful to the original.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Wow. Coming from someone who wants nothing more than to find the good in even the worst scare flicks, this is one impressively unaccomplished movie. To take a character this ripe for cinematic portrayal and wind up with such a veritable carnival of paint-by-numbers blandness is truly a notable feat. There is some moderate visual flair and some not-bad-at-all cinematography in this movie, but it all gets put to waste by the complete poverty of innovation. I'll be honest, I didn't make it past the 60 minute mark. So it's possible that it picks up later, but even if the last 20 minutes miraculously turned into an Exorcist-worthy climax, no moviegoer should be forced to sit through the preceding two acts to get to it.

First off, I was pleasantly surprised by the change in antagonists. It's obvious now that the hallmark of the Unfriended movies is not so much a supernatural bent (like the 1st one,) but simply that the whole story is told from the POV of a computer screen. Which is good, because this movie gets to go off on its own tangent instead of rehashing the first movie's ghostly plot. The first act is always a bit of a bore, trying to establish the characters and set the scene with limited narrative resources... but once again, when the story picks up steam, the watchability goes way up. This one is all real-world shadow cult type stuff, and it does manage to tell a serviceable story. Most of it boils down to existing "they know who/where we are" fare, but there is some stuff in there that stands out. AJ's death was a nice, spicy meatball. The big finish was a bit of a cop-out, but it does wrap up the movie. I didn't absolutely love it, but I do think it has its place. It wasn't bad for what it is, and as long as the inevitable next Unfriended movie is as anthological as the first two, I'm okay with these. It's just that this new screen-capture horror subgenre isn't for everybody, hence the bad reviews.

Maybe I'm just a **** for time travel flicks, but this movie will pull your brain out, f*** it raw, and shove it back in your skull. As long as you can deal with the dialogue-heavy presentation.

Just when you thought po-mo slasher movies couldn't possibly have anything interesting to offer anymore... This movie is a breath of fresh air, mainly because instead of spending large ponderous chunks of time setting up a feature-length story, it gets to home in one day and then have fun repeating it with a new twist each time. This makes it a breeze to sit through, and it feels as if everyone involved had a blast making it, which really rubs off on the viewer. Highly recommended by a hopelessly jaded horror fan.

I see people praising the premise as unique, but if these poor **** only knew it had been done before, they would realize what a dumpster fire this movie really is without originality on its side. This movie acts like it has an intersting story to tell, and proceeds to go absolutely nowhere with it. If the entire movie were condensed into the first and/or second act of a more complete film, then maybe it might be worth something... but that's a big maybe. A plot where parents try to murder their children has so much potential (what? why? how? etc.) and even if you can tell a great story without having to go into full exposition as to what is causing the frenzy... for God's sake, at least hint at something. All we get here is 1) parents start killing their kids, 2) zoom in on one family in particular, 3) parents chase kids for rest of runtime. No explanation, commentary or perspective of any kind. After the opening shocker at the schoolyard (which isn't shocking at all since it just introduces the advertised plot,) there's maybe one interesting scene in a maternity ward, and even that one is cringily executed (YOU CAN'T HAVE A DISTURBING SCENE WITH ROXETTE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND!!) This movie has nothing to offer except unfulfilled hopes of something intriguing, a paint-by-numbers run/hide plot and one (maaaybe two) crazy Nicholas Cage line fit for his lifetime psycho reel. That's it..... PLEASE do yourself a favor... find the Masters of Horror episode "The Screwfly Solution" and watch that instead.

It's pretty low on actual horror, but high on tension... It takes a lot to make me squirm, but there is one scene (you know the one) that had me balled up in my chair going "holy crap, holy crap, etc." That is an achievement in itself. Overall, it's a capably crafted piece that would have actually had some scares to it if only they didn't spoil the baddies so early in the film.

This movie has a really promising set-up, and spends the bulk of its run time behaving like it's building up to an interesting reveal. Problem is, the reveal never comes... which is even more disappointing considering the teasing semi-reveal ("dear god! there's something in this photo!" but they never show it.) This really just feels like half a movie at best, and the half we do see is just standard home invasion/hostage family fare with nothing particularly fresh to it, let alone an actual payoff after spending 90 minutes of aimless buildup. The bad guys are unusual, which makes you want to see the movie through to see what their deal is... but with no reveal as to their true nature, they just end up being weird and unsatisfying.

This movie just feels right in many ways. First, it corrects the previous travesty that was Art the Clown not having a feature film. Second, the visual quality has an awesome 80's grindhouse feel to it, so it actually feels like this was shot when it should have been instead of 30 years late. The soundtrack is a nice throwback mix of uneasy drones and infrasounds with some nice low-fi stingers. There's a nostalgic immersiveness here that makes you feel like you just walked home from some old video store with the worn out cassette boxes and velcro rental tags. The story is nothing special, but it's bathed in so much bleakness and blackness that it just fits perfectly with the villain (including his color scheme.) Not necessarily a stand-out horror for the ages— aside from one possibly hallmark-level kill scene— but tells an okay story while treating the viewer to a hearty helping of a rather spectacular movie monster. Signed, a hard-to-please horror fan.

How are people surprised at this ending? So many reviews talking as if the sad ending is a studio marketing decision to drum up future sequels or something. A) Read a **** comic book. B) I don't think they need help generating new movies. Expecting a happy ending in this movie would be like expecting Jesus to sprout Bat-skates at the end of The Passion and mule kick himself off the cross. All I look for anymore in MCU movies is watchable characters, escalating epicness, just a touch of thoughtful plotting, and in general a superhero story that doesn't end up strangling itself to death before my very eyes. *cough* DC. This movie does just fine on all fronts. I clearly still had my socks on when this one was over, but it all played excellently. I must say I'm growing more and more impressed with Marvel's ability to stuff some humor into every orifice of a script without it feeling excessive or off-key. Best MCU movie, though? Eh. The first Avengers is still the gold standard for plot, but Thanos certainly does set a new standard of his own for his many memorable villainousnesseses. I have to hand it to Marvel; they didn't peter out on The Snap (hidden pun!) I actually think it's a breath of fresh air to see such a decisively unhappy finish. Is it permanent? Again, READ A F$*%ING COMIC, jeez.

You know what I hated about this movie? Seeing the big final trap was the one thing keeping me slogging through yet another so-so set of criss-crossing story arcs starring yet another cast of tepid characters getting offed via yet another bevy of impractically Rube-Goldbergian death devices, involving yet another mystery John K accomplice and building up to yet another timeline twist.... You know what I liked about this movie? That it wasn't Saw 4, 5 or 3D. At best, just an incredibly not too terrible Saw movie. At worst, totally unnecessary.

The most impressive thing to me about this movie is that it may or may not have been cast according to who happened to be hot enough at the time... and somehow everybody seems like the absolute perfect choice for their respective roles. Everything else that's good about this movie has no doubt already been said.

Brian Cox as Lecter... weeeeird! But very good. Just don't expect to see too much of him. This movie is steeped in its own 80's-ness, but what a fantastic job everybody does. The visuals direction and the soundtrack, all quite commendable. William Petersen is interesting enough, and the original Red Dragon... yes, please. And let me say this... Dennis Farina. Right, end of review.

A) Don't get me started on the whole mental connection angle. B) That Michael mask is just come on man. C) The magic is almost completely gone with this one... the body count rises while the tension-building is down to trace levels. D) The ending leaves you with some unreasonably heavy questions... questions which Part 6 proceeds to answer in the most regrettable way. +2 points for that Jamie chase through the basement (muted piano track and all...) it was a flash of brilliance, up until the finish. As in, a highlight of the entire series.

This is a movie that's not afraid itself lightly, which definitely allows it to hit some of the most organic comedic notes in the entire MCU. I think the biggest plus in this movie was the pacing; the story isn't much better than "a'ight" on the whole, but I'm actually surprised in hindsight at how smoothly it breezed from the titles to the credits... The ups and downs are there, but with none of the jarring feeling that often happens with these ****'s like the cinematic equivalent of being on a rollercoaster at zero G (in a good way.) It's also got some inventiveness to it in the third act—or maybe it was pulled from the comics, I don't know. Oh, and it has just the right Goldilocks level of Jeff Goldblum. On the minus side, not crazy about Loki's character arc. Also, I'm guessing I'll need another couple movies before I can understand how this one has any meaningful impact on the wider MCU, besides the fact that Hulk can talk now.