Melania

While it does offer an extremely flattering view of all things Melania, outside of a few candid glimpses, you're not really going to learn a lot about who she really is.

No good impression emerges of the former Slovenian model. No bad impression emerges either. Ratner’s film achieves, rather, a sort of passive distance – as you might get by pointing a camera, for close to two hours, at a waterfall or a wheat field.

Shallow, sycophantic and absent a single unguarded moment, Melania is a near-two-hour infomercial disguised as a documentary. What’s the movie actually worth as entertainment? I’ll start the bidding at two cents.

Melania is the feature film version of that wedding video in Love Actually, the one where the best man spent the whole event obsessively filming the bride ... Ratner made a film that makes Ratner look more invested in Melania Trump than her husband, which is a really weird vibe to shoot for.

I’m hesitant to call Melania propaganda because I can’t imagine anyone watching this movie and thinking that Melania Trump comes off well. If this vapid, airless, mindless time-waster had subversive designs of being a satire about the first lady of the United States, there’s not much it would have changed.

Were it not for scattered laughter-inducing scenes—most of which, I would gather, were not intentionally humorous—I would rule it an abomination. ... Melania is a level of insipid propaganda that almost resists review; it’s so expected and utterly pointless.

It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch and proffered like a medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne.

I didn't go in expecting much as the trailer was very bland. But this exceeded my expectations, way more interesting and engaging. The rare movie that is better than the trailers.

If you're curious about Melania - well, why not. I don't put any extraneous emotion into watching a film. It's odd that I happened to see this film. Anyway, the film is done well - it's just not that interesting to me. If Amazon had done Melania-pre-Trump in the same quality I would have given it at least a 7. Also, I'm not interested in the reality genre. By the way... it is not a 0 or a 10. Logically it would fall somewhere in the 5 to 7 range given a rational review.

The same "journalists" who fawn over Becoming with Michelle Obama came out in full force to review bomb a very similar endeavor with Melania. It only exposes the void where their journalistic integrity should be and the ugly hate and bias they exude. The media is not to be trusted nor taken seriously as it is filled with petulant children utter incapable of anything remotely resembling honesty.

A new genre is born : PR PORN First Lady narrates voiceover of nothing much of substance, over beauty shots of herself in various dresses, going in and out of cars, planes and buildings… motorcades going east, west, north and south…. Choosing colours and materials is hard Do we learn anything new? Only through accidental closeups.

It’s both hilarious and sad when I look at the reviews for this picture! But a movie based on the wife of the Governor of America?? Yeah, f$@k that $h!t! LMAO!