shiftworker

Crime. Dull 90s murder plot with a bit of sci-fi thrown in. Seems really dated now, with TV movie quality. Gave up after half an hour. Not the worst film I've seen this year, but the worst one that I can find on Metacritic

US Civil War. Ridiculously long, though it ends before Gettysburg, and amounts to a biopic of Stonewall Jackson. Cannon-shot explosons turn the victims into acrobats and the sanctimonious script and swirling score both invite parody, so it might be possible to watch some of it in a group on the basis of so-bad-it's-funny, but it's too long to serve any practical purpose for anyone not in a coma. Handily the movie is divided into parts 1-4, which I saw with breaks over 3 days and avoided being bored to death in one sitting.

Comedy sequel. The characters are not funny in themselves and nothing funny happens to them in the first 25 minutes. Then they wake in Bangkok with no memory of the night before, but plenty of reminders to help them. After another half hour I didn't care what happened in the last bit, so walked away.

Sci-fi. Guy recruits people to go back in time with him to save his girlfriend. Government agents take an interest. Not enough to hold my interest, turned off after half an hour.

Adult animation. Swearing, insults and sexual references made me switch off after 10 mins, so probably a cult classic for teens. There's something wrong with American youth culture if this is what makes money.

A vulnerable lad gets beaten up then gets persuaded by a 'friend' to go through a fraternity initiation. A morality tale, and probably educational, but not entertaining.

Alien invasion comedy. Funny only in a few places. Older teens may like it for the laddish swearing and sex references. I saw it through to the end, but have no idea why. I could have fallen asleep for the middle half hour, it wouldn't have made any difference.

Family comedy drama. Stylishly shot, but I didn't like the characters enough so it left me feeling unmoved. Quirky is all very well, but it has to have heart to make me like it.

Drama. Black & white. A ditsy dancer's flat-mate moves out and she has to struggle to rebuild her life. Failed to get into it and gave up after 20 mins.

Futuristic crime yarn. Gotham city villains are forced by the government to take on a super-villain. The characters are human enough but not likeable, reducing this to a dark shoot-'em-up, probably considered great by teens addicted to violent games. Oh, and Batman fans. I didn't make it to the end.

Crime comedy. A bank robbery is planned by tunnelling from a bakery, but things don't go according to plan. Woody Allen, Tracey Ullman and Hugh Grant combine to maximise their comedic talents or irritating qualities depending on your point of view. The comedy is gentle and predictable so don't expect to actually laugh at any point. A harmless way of passing the time.

Violent drama. A backwoods bootlegging outfit struggle against city gangsters and corrupt cops. Guy Pearce sneers his way through nastily, but there's no-one to cheer for or pin your hopes on, leaving this a pretty miserable experience.

Comedy. Conjoined twins help each other live their lives to the full while causing minor mirth along the way. From the part of Matt Damon's career when he smiled a lot, so quite a long time ago. Avoids all the obvious pitfalls and is life-affirming as a result, but the comedy mixture is a bit wide of the mark for my taste.

Sci-fi. A heroic crew ride a giant bomb needed to restart the dying sun, following an earlier failed mission. They're under pressure, events happen, tensions rise. Chris Evans adds testosterone to the geeky mix. The pace jerks around between slow-longing-looks-into-space and almost-action-movie, but I kept watching to an inevitable ending.

Family animation. Ship-wreck survivor encounters talking animals. Entertaining for children, but this old fogey found the plot a little too thin to bother with again.

Martial Arts fantasy. Benedict Cumberbatch's days as a surgeon are ruined, leading him to spiritual training in the Far East and a contest between good and evil forces. Starts well. But then becomes bogs down in mumbo jumbo and set piece fights. The special effects are impressive and the cast put in good performances.

crime horror. Three youths break-in to a blind man's home and find more than they bargained for. Violent, but the shock moments work well. It's just hard to have any sympathy with anyone, so you hang back emotionally. That's probably why I didn't like it all that much.

Teen horror fantasy adventure. Geeky boy follows his Grandfather's stories into a world of special powers, time loops and deadly monsters. Tim Burton continues to produce quirky, dark worlds for our imaginations to visit. I enjoyed this visit, but found the stay rather too long.

animation sequel. This is the asteroid episode of the cute, sometimes funny and generally entertaining franchise. It's a bit more surreal, which I liked and very pink and purple, which I didn't. Nothing new here, but the old stuff's good so I didn't mind. A sequel that doesn't put you off the idea of yet another in a few year's time.

War drama. Young pacifist is caught up in the war, with unlikely but inspiring results, though the personal story is a bit on the sentimental side. However the portrayal of human beings suffering the violent intensity of battle is one of the best of recent attempts.

Sentimental drama. Widower self-help guru meets a florist who helps him grieve. Emotionally touching with the bonus of a well-matched soundtrack. Not a romance as Jennifer Aniston remains disinterested for too long.

animation. Cutesy trolls are threatened by ogres, but all will end well and on the way you can muse on the nature of your own relationships and have the odd laugh.

**** war crime drama. Young German lad has affair with illiterate Kate Winslet, and later discovers she was a guard in a concentration camp. Ralph Fiennes plays him later still. An interesting look at the interaction of relationships and response to the holocaust.

Supernatural coming-of-age. Warlocks try to out-do each other and impress girls. The script is predictable and the cast are all implausibly pretty, but the movie has merit for good special effects, subtle soundtrack and effective creepy lighting.

Sci-fi. The not-too-distant future. Joaquin Phoenix becomes increasingly dependant on his interactive operating system. A slightly creepy warning of the place we have given IT.

Magical crime. Like most sequels, this is a disappointment. It's overlong and the pace was uneven. The cast do their best though, and its clever enough to keep your mind awake for the whole film.

Drama. An adoption mix-up leaves a gay couple expecting a baby and getting a teenager. Endearing, and made me smile in places, though it doesn't try to be funny and is all the more human for that. Swedish with subtitles.

Matthew McConaughy plays a man with modern values struggling against the forces of Conservatism in the deep South of the US, through the Civil War and into the decades after. A secondary story of discrimination against a descendant in the 1950s is told in small segments. It's engaging, but not fully because the main characters are all too saintly or downright wicked.

Historical prison drama. The Marquis de Sade writes sexy stories in an asylum. He is forced to be ever more resourceful as his jailers including Michael Caine try to stop him. An interesting tale of a man's frustration and of his depravity and that of others.

Superhero movie with a difference. Bruce Willia struggles to understand two traumatic events in his life, spurred on by a man who seems his opposite. The plodding pace had my eyelids drooping in a few places, but there were genuine moments of tension every half hour or so and enough mystery and emotional content to make me stick with it to the twist at the end. The orchestral score is unobtrusive and evocative. In a few years I'll have forgotten it enough to enjoy it again..

Crime. Spoilt rich kid accuses teacher Matt Dillon of ****, but that's the tip of an iceberg. Kevin Bacon investigates through several complexities. Bill Murray enjoys himself as a lawyer. There's a good deal of sex going on and the movie feels a little tacky, like a cheap diner or '80s fashion; but somehow it seems appropriate. Watch through the credits for revealing extra scenes.

Western. When a crime goes unpunished by Gene Hackman, Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman and Richard Harris all come to town. There are slow parts and no surprises, but the script and acting make it watchable several times over.

A gentle comedy with sexual and family themes and a fair amount of swearing. Its all wry that's-just-like-us smiles, with maybe just one or two laughs, but exercising your empathy leaves you feeling good nonetheless and it's OK to see again. Don't watch it for escapism or when your own family is bordering on the dysfunctional.

Heart-warming drama. A boy discovers the man behind the grouch played by Bill Murray. Not funny except in the driest possible way, but entertaining and life-affirming none-the-less

Hungarian holocaust tale. Father working in death camp tries to provide a proper burial for his son. Compelling, but bleak. Interestingly and effectively shot, with the main character in focus and the appalling events largely out of focus in the background.

Heart-warming light comedy. Hugh Grant is a ham actor and Meryl Streep fancies herself a singer. Their marriage allows his infidelity and he will do anything to encourage her, but she is not well and her singing is ... different. Good performances all round bring out the caring nature of this very human couple.

Disaster thriller. Family are caught up in a revolution. Rapidly paced, the threats mostly feel genuine and the family pass from one to another almost without let-up. This will get your adrenalin flowing.

A guy marooned on an island is getting desperate. Daniel Radcliffe's corpse washes up on the beach. A fantasy ensues in which the corpse has special powers which save the guy. There's conversation on life, love, sex and death so there's plenty to talk about for those not grossed out.

Crime. Clive Owen is the clever bank robber, Denzel Washington the clever cop in this interesting heist movie. Jodi Foster and Christopher Plummer provide reliable support in the secondary plot. Rewards a second or third watch a few years later too.

Crime and conspiracy. The plot develops at a steady pace, keeping you guessing. Mel Gibson combines his vengeful Dad & moral cop routines with plenty of tugging at your heartstrings. The violent scenes left me wanting a more uplifting ending.

supernatural drama. French woman has near-death experience which changes her life. A grieving boy seeks comfort. Matt Damon tries to escape his past as a medium. The strands all meet.

Tom Hanks is pilot whose plane encounters a problem after take-off. Some unnecessary jumping back and forth takes place. Hanks is first treated as a hero and then doubts creep in, though I couldn't doubt Tom Hanks for an instant, which left me asking me no questions as the movie drifted by. Still, it's a reasonable way to let an hour or so drift by.

Crime. Closely shot, sharply scripted gangster tale. The scenes appear only lightly linked, partly because each are so strong in themselves, and partly because they are steadily drow together. Watching this is sheer luxury, like the smoothest milk chocolate, it leaves me feeling spoilt but wanting more. Mmmm.

Romantic comedy. A montage of believable characters fall in love in a showcase of Britishness. The ultimate Christmas feel-good movie. Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman play their usual neurotic parts and there's a classic cameo from Rowan Atkinson.

Ghostly thriller. Strange behaviour from the neighbours and ghostly goings on play on Michelle Pfieffer's nerves. Harrison Ford holsd back just enough to keep you unsure of what's going on until . The direction builds tension well, provides several sudden shocks and then develops an air of malice. It all rewards repeat viewing. Luxurious like dark chocolate and double cream. Sit back on your sofa and indulge.

Disaster movie. Ewan McGregor's family on holiday are divided by the Boxing day tsunami and try to reunite. Expect to be carried along on a wave of water and then another of intense emotions.

Historical drama. Edward Norton's magician discovers his childhood friend is in line to marry Rufus Sewel's aggressive prince. An intruging tale unwinds amid carefully arranged photography. Rewards watching again and again.

Thoughtful, emotional drama. Robin Williams last film is at first sensitive then sentimental and then uncomfortable viewing. He is a reliable, dull, married bank worker whose need for affection and unresolved sexuality issues mean his life unravels after he encounters a rentboy. There's decent supporting acting and good dialgue. It's sure to provoke a response, which will be dsgust in some, sadness in others. It's attempt to end on a positive note failed to lift me back up.

Roman empire drama. The problem with remakes of historical titles for me is that modernisation of attitudes and dialogue makes it harder to accept the different values of a period setting. The lighting, sets and scale all set up the right atmosphere, and things improve when Morgan Freeman appears, but I did not find changes made to the plot added credibility. I was left disappointed, just watching another movie rather than becoming involved in a timeless story.

Historical romance. Some terribly nice people with modern attitudes run up against the social and racial norms of the 18th centuy and some quite nasty people. The costumes, sets and young actors all look great. The emotional tap is turned way up to gushing and it delivers exactly what you're expecting, like a hot bath after a long day.