ryeca

This is a bad movie. Just cliche after cliche, like playing action-movie trope bingo.

Most of these sub "5" reviews are very accurate, but Black Panther doesn't even deserve to be an average movie. It is sub-par even for a Marvel film. The CGI is strangely varied, nice in some scenes and comically poor in others. The "action" is very terrible, the dialogue is trash, and the whole development of Wakanda as a culture is absurd and bordering on parody of legitimate African culture. I think these films are so big and splashy that the studios have forgotten how to first craft a compelling story and then support that story with beautiful film-making in every single shot of the film. Black panther is just not a good movie, and it seems like a lot of people feel duped by the glowing reviews. This movie is VERY mediocre, if even that.

Generally better than the first movie, with fewer cringe-worthy joke attempts (but still more than a handful). The CG is pretty rotten and the action is just meh, but the movie is stronger than the first and somewhat enjoyable. Theres just so much CG even on Deadpool himself that you can never escape the uncanny valley feeling, but I've given up expecting Fury Road excellence of CG mixed with physical action. Not a movie you would ever watch again, but yeah could be a fun escape from this heat wave. 5/10 seems totally fair.

The concept of the movie definitely surpasses the execution. The audience is treated like a bunch of idiots, and literally shown (on a whiteboard) the criteria that the movie sets up about the creatures. The end is obvious. All in all, this movie was a boring thriller, containing a few jump-scares and a poorly constructed sci-fi world. Why do we keep hyping mediocre movies?

Really boring, one-note biopic of a topic that isn't interesting to begin with. Do you like watching the same scenes of abuse over and over for a few hours, then this movie is for you. Do you like bad VFX face-swapping to make it look like Robbie is skating, then this movie is for you. However, if you want a movie that doesn't make you want to break your tv's legs, then this movie is not for you.

Not very good. Cliche story, boring, one-dimensional characters, cartoonish acting. Also, aren't we past the whole steam-punk, Bioshock aesthetic yet? Here is every Guillermo Del Toro movie that gets acclaim: Female protagonist faces typical evil in a fantasy world punctuated by moments of gore. Also, the attempts at humor are lame.

Clever, fun, funny, charming, with a lot of detail and classic film-making touches. Just a solid movie with some bad accents but really good acting, spot-on casting, and topical satire and humor. Also, it is a rare movie that can lovingly cherish the same culture it is also lampooning, somewhat. Highly recommended; pleasantly surprised by this one.

Way over-hyped indeed. This movie is a two hour music video with a plot that falls apart halfway through and mediocre driving sequences. Seems like an attempt to sell a mixtape. The characters make no sense whatsoever and the final "act" of the movie is just a waste; they seem confused about what they wanted the characters and movie to be. By the end, it seems like they had a cogent movie but edited away too much, which is crazy because the movie is still long as it is. Also, Ansel Elgort is awful and for some reason they told him to fake a southern accent, which is just ridiculous and in no way supportive of any necessary plot elements. It sounds like he has a speech impediment. Anyway, Jamie Foxx was pretty good in it. Also, to name the movie "Baby Driver" and end the movie with the Simon and Garfunkel song of name is so eye-rollingly cheesy.

Bad: the action, the plot, the accents (even with the line trying to explain the terrrrrible accent work), the villains - especially the harry potter-esque villain, the fact that the movie is just a commercial for the next movies (it is bookended by sloppy / cheesy batman / justice league references), the entire first half of the movie Not great: the CG, the environments, the first half of the movie, the second half of the movie, the third half of the movie...(it's long, and not in a good way), the realllly obvious plot twists Good: Gal Gadot's face, Elena Anaya's face, Chris Pine's face, that one scene with Chris Pine where he says "F it, I'm doing some good acting for at least this one scene"

Bald meat-baby-man convinces the world he is an action star, not in fact, Groot. Questionably dreadlocked Charlize Theron, with the power to create mass hysteria via hacking superpowers and fly in a plane that never needs re-fueling - decides to instead hatch an absurdly elaborate plan involving a baby, bald-meat-baby-man, fancy cars, a nuke, and an old Russian submarine in order to "make the world accountable?" Green-screen work on par with that "Reading Rainbow" episode, you know the one, where LeVar climbs that mountain. Michelle Rodriguez attempts to hold in her lunch when kissing bald-baby-man-meat. Also, fake keyboard clicky-hacky wars - "I've got her" *click *click "Take this" *clicky *typey "Darn, she locked me out. What a hacker." Thanks, China.

Let me sum up JW2. 1. People can't shoot John from 6 feet away. John can shoot people from 6 feet away. 2. John bought a copy of "Judo for Dummies." 3. The dialogue is made so that google translate will not have a difficult job. This movie is so bad, boring, and repetitive - watching this feels like playing the tutorial of a video game for 2.5 hours where dumb ai walks at you and lets you shoot them in the face. Ok, nevermind that sounds way more fun than this piece of garbage film.

Not great. As others have said, it is slow. Also, it feels like they just did a wikipedia search for "linguistics" and then wrote a script around the first paragraph. I don't see this as a cerebral sci fi film at all. More of a cheesy, slog-fest.

To start, I saw this in IMAX 3D, which detracted from my experience of the movie. I can not recommend 3D as a viable movie technology yet; it is still more distracting than elevating. Skip 3D for now. The visuals will be more stunning without it. Yes, this movie has some nice effects, definitely stealing or paying homage to Cyriak and Inception, etc. However, the rest of the set design in this movie is extremely cheesy - dressed up like a Disneyland parody of Nepali culture. The same goes for the costumes. I know they have to reference the comics, but they are really lame and should have taken more liberties to refine or update the characters. They pattern the fabric like the repetitious landscapes, which can work but just doesn't here. They look like they are dressing up as halloween costumes of themselves. How is the dialogue? Really bad. Maybe intentionally bland and simple? At one point in the movie, a character says something like, "You don't choose a relic (weapon), it chooses you." Late in the movie, another character says, "Pick up a weapon (the relics)! Choose wisely!" Lol. Its like they couldn't even take the time to match the cliches they were using. How is the action? Very mediocre. Between the unnecessary "martial arts" and the cg "energy" weapons that don't do more than regular weapons (why re-create a knife in a very complex way?), it was all just kind of boring. Some movies have small glints of special action sequences, very visceral fighting, or contemporary fighting styles, but this was very very generic. It is cliche fighting + landscape bending. They never seem to integrate the two concepts very well, except in one instance in the beginning. This is a point of confusion for me - with all of these powers, why are all of these characters fighting in such lame punch-punch-kick ways? Jackie Chan was way more creative about using his environment, and he couldn't bend space and time. So, if the dialogue is bad, the plot is just as you would expect, the jokes are mailed-in, the action is uninspired, but the visuals are decent, I guess you might as well put that Cyriak music video "Cirrus" on repeat for two hours instead. I checked my brain out at the door and was still very underwhelmed.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

You can't save a predictable movie with really abominable CGI by overusing metafictional filmmaking and breaking-the-fourth-wall. There is no point to this movie, and these cgi crap fests have gotten way out of hand. This movie can distract you for an hour forty but most likely you'll be bored and sick of looking at a terribly rendered Colossus and Deadpool spinning in the air for no reason. Also, having Gina Carano fight a totally CGI character is just a waste of her talents. I'm still waiting for a superhero movie to actually have some good fight scenes; it's like they have never seen a Samo Hung and Jackie Chan movie.

A fairly dumb, one-note movie with occasionally fun moments and a few cool stunts, but mostly horrible acting, a plot straight from video-game cliches ("fight off the bad guys as the good guy slowly lowers down the level, I mean 'set'") and a villain straight out of a yaoi story.

Pretty terrible movie with a few solid jokes. This movie seemed like the internet ate a bunch of other comedy sci-fi films and then crapped out something worse, where the sum of the parts is worse than the parts, and the parts are mostly crappy too. But, you could watch it for the three or four funny jokes. Why not.

Watching this movie is a sad affair and the good reviews for it are INSANE. Not just surprising, but completely insane. It is not a good movie, and really makes you wonder why people could give it good reviews. Have people given up on movies? Is this what we consider a passing grade? I understand having some allegiance to a movie franchise, but at some point we just have to be honest. Star Wars VII is crap made to sell you more crap. Maybe the toys are fun for your kids, but if you are older than 10 this movie will be (or should be) boring, repetitive, and cliche nonsense. Quick summary: Rey is crap, she runs like a fool, her accent is absurd, and how she "acquires" the force is absolutely ridiculous. These attempts at writing a powerful female character are laughable and actually insulting. The presentation and development of the First Order and Resistance is lazy. The world-building is also lazy. The Kylo Ren actor is laughably cast. He looks like a close-up magician who stole Snape's haircut. The references are pointless, because the movie just isn't good. Here's a tip: leave out all the cheap references to the previous films and just make a good movie instead. But that won't happen, because they have to sell this to millions around the world, so nuance or intelligence is thrown out the window before the movie is even made. The CG woman in the bar (you'll know her) is so bad - it looks like they just lifted the costume-making character from the Incredibles and plopped her into "a galaxy far far away." Anyway... on and on.. The movie is just...dumb. Chewie is good. No problems with Chewie.

The only positive thing about this movie is that it is just over an hour long (but that hour drags). Not great action, cheesy graphics, bad gore (even if they were going for over-the-top), and stupid characters. The movie falls apart.

I can't understand the good reviews. This movie is very cheesy, like a bad space MacGuyver. Except space MacGuyver sounds awesome. The movie is just exposition - you know the saying "Show, don't tell?" Well, apparently this movie hasn't heard that storytelling strategy. Every line is literally somebody explaining their actions, for two hours. There is one joke that lands and many more that are obvious duds. Donald Glover is trying to play the savant with mild aspergers, but just comes off as annoying and cliche. Also, there is one point where they use a skinny actor to play a starved Damon, but they cover his face using a towel. It is so embarrassing.

I give this movie a "two," because that's what it is -- a big 'ol turd. People who gave this a high rating were probably going to give it a high rating regardless, because after watching this movie if you don't think "Holy Christ that was terrible why do we keep subjecting ourselves to movies like this?" you probably don't care what you are watching and just want to see CG things twirl around and smush other CG things. Also, if you think these tired jokes are funny, shame on you. Iron man isn't funny, and a reasonable part of you knows it. Let that part out, and don't shell out money for this crud.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

I have never seen such a bad movie get this rating on metacritic. This movie is amazingly awful. It makes no sense, the acting is terrible, the dialogue is terrible, and the action is surprisingly terrible (shaky-cam, lack of focus, effects over actual choreography) as well. It really is a shame to waste money on making or seeing this movie. Amazing foibles: Half CG Paul Walker is like watching a Japanese "real doll" placed in an action movie (sorry Paul). The camera angles and dialogue surrounding him is so surreal. I was so distracted by the efforts to pretend he was alive for the whole movie that I couldn't focus on the movie, not that you need to focus to watch this nonsense. Also, the plot makes no sense whatsoever. I can't even describe it. They try to find a device to just track down Jason Statham, yet he finds the crew at every other scene. Also, for some reason they need to drive cars out of a plane to reach a bus transport, yet Jason Statham manages to be at the same place without falling out of plane. Why did they need to do it? They didn't. This whole movie did not need to happen. Vin Diesel is old, and just rambles on about family and the streets and other nonsense. HE WEARS A WHITE CUT OFF TO HIS OWN WEDDING. Classic Vin... Also, they go to Tokyo as if there is no time interruption from Tokyo drift, yet the Tokyo drift actor is 10 years older than he was in that movie. They really think the audience is dumb as a couch. This movie is just a series of scenes of people lining up for the camera and cars doing the same. Rant over. Too much. Cant...

All you need to know is that there is a wolf-man Channing Tatum clumsily floating around Chicago with his gravity roller-skates. Did he just grind that fire-escape railing? Oh yes, he did. Go see this movie NOW before it is gone. Be sure, this movie is an awful, horrendous, shameful, abomination, wreck of a movie, but you need to experience it yourself. It is like a mad-libbed collage supercut of twenty or so moderately famous sci-fi movies. Yes, it is so bad that it is good again.

Comparing this movie to "2001" is like comparing a turd to chocolate ice cream because they are both brown. If somebody tries telling you that this movie is somehow related or equivalent, don't talk to that person again. They don't know. I'm just happy to know that when we are all out of food, we will still be able to kick back, look cool in our Carhartt jackets, and drink a beer on a porch. This movie actually tries to play the "You're the only man for the mission" card, because apparently their highly intelligent robots can't be sent into space because they made them clumsy as hell. The music is really loud (though really good, and powerful) to cover up poor dialogue. You have to ignore the plot holes, otherwise you will want to pull your hair out. Pretty much, this movie is beautiful **** Also, Nolan, come on - don't do the upside-down world parlor trick again. We saw it in inception. Move on.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Whatever you do don't see this, but if you are forced at gunpoint to see Frank, don't pay 16$ at the Arclight. The movie never settles on a voice, but I think was supposed to be tragicomic? Quirky? Is that the word? Painfully boring? Yes, that. Can Maggie Gyllenhall stop singing already? I liked when the one guy died, spoiler, because it meant one less inane character was around to babble inanely. Go watch Paris Texas instead (they mention it in the movie). When this is on netflix instant in a month, still download it illegally.

Ditto on being shocked at good reviews. Snowpiercer is not worth your money. The dialogue seems to have been written by grade school children, which doesn't leave much room for quality acting. The characters are Brazil / Gilliam campy but not as interesting (partly due to the awful dialogue). Also, the plot is recycled from already recycled dystopias and is very predictable. Ok, are you here for action then? Well, you can basically just throw away the fighting scenes, which also seem recycled from other, better Korean films. Do we really need another axe-fight scene? Do we really need another dystopian film of this type and quality? The plot holes are mind-blowing even if you suspend disbelief, the acting is poor, the characters are random and disposable, and the plot is as dumb as a couch. The movie seems like a live action manga remake of the worst kind.