Fashion House (2006)

A glossy hunk of over-the-top, sleaze 'n' tease melodrama.

It's awash in sudsy Bo Derek and Morgan Fairchild, plus a bit of Tippi Hedren. But slow tension fails to fill the first episode, and the acting is a tangle of scorns.

[Of the two new soaps,] only "Fashion House" seems to understand that it's supposed to be a guilty pleasure.

[It doesn't] live up to its camp catfight billing, in large part because Derek doesn't have this kind of drag-queen Dynasty performance in her. Not only does the role take more than the minimal acting skills she possesses, it also takes a level of on-camera comfort she has never mastered.

"Fashion House" is a bit more coherent, if still ludicrous.

Passable production values, naughtiness about as salty as an issue of Maxim and some pretty stiff acting provide modest camp allure, but it's hard to imagine either new series qualifying as a so-bad-it's-good guilty pleasure.

OK, it could be better. A lot better.