United Passions

United Passions, with its clashing, production partner-mandated Europudding of accents, fails to find a unifying voice.

Even without the current headlines, United Passions is a disgrace. It’s less a movie than preposterous self-hagiography, more appropriate for Scientology or the Rev Sun Myung Moon. As cinema it is excrement. As proof of corporate insanity it is a valuable case study.

One of those rare films so unfathomably ghastly you could write a better one while sitting through its interminable 110 minutes. I’d rather re-watch Elton John's "Gnomeo & Juliet" 110 times.

United Passions leaves no historical-drama cliché unexploited: the voiceover narration, the jumbled Europudding accents, the expository dialogue, the hasty compression of major world events, the thickly applied old-age makeup, the not remotely seamless mix of re-creations and archival footage. It’s all there, in support of FIFA’s lies.

United Passions is one of the most unwatchable films in recent memory, a dishonest bit of corporate-suite sanitizing that’s no good even for laughs.

Tedious, amateurish and hilariously ill-timed film.

As propaganda, United Passions is as subtle as an anvil to the temple. As drama, it’s not merely ham-fisted, but pork-shouldered, bacon-wristed, and sausage-elbowed.

If there was one word to describe this movie, it would be perfection. I do not claim god created this movie, but it is up there alongside the greatest creations of all time. Namely, the holy scriptures. The writing is not only unparalleled, but at a level even Chuk Norris cannot hope to reach. It is a sad fate that humans cannot understand the brilliance behind this meticulously crafted piece of art. It's a good thing I am batman and had enough money to procure myself some alien brain as a replacement for the defective human organ. Such genius prodigy from such a masterminded scholarly writer of the highest intellect. One cannot fathom how such a specimen could exist without being a lizardman living under the genesis of the new world order. I wish I could explain such a marvelous architecture of a movie in simple laymen terms. However, words alone aren't powerful enough to deliver its true message. I have ascended to new heights.

This movie gave me an adrenaline rush because of how exciting and amazing it was, this is by far the most legendary and ELITE movie I have ever seen in my life, I watch it every single day and I am left with a huge smile on my face after finishing watching it. :) 100/10 Would watch again!

John Carter and Tomorrowland made more money then this movie, that's a new low. Okay the reason why I reviewing this masterpiece of **** is because I got a upcoming review of I Saw the Devil which may come out tomorrow or the day after, and I want to save enough energy that I got to review it as it is one of the best movies of 2010. But here is something that's easy to tear a part. People are saying that this movie was Uwe Boll level, I mean look at the rating on IMDB it's got a 2.0/10 as I'm specking, but if you compare this movie to a Uwe Boll movie, United Passions is the best thing ever made. At least United Passions as a great looking and good costume design were Uwe Boll doesn't even try at all, I mean he's like the **** of cinema. But all that side United Passions isn't all that good. The movie has that cheap looking straight to DVD movie look to it which didn't help the movie sell itself to people. The movie isn't all that interesting, I think I looked around my room of boredom just by watching this movie trying to look around to see what's interesting. Overall United Passions could have been somewhat good, but it didn't and I'm going to forget this movie and the end of the year.

My original review from February 2016 doesn't seem to hold up. I was very harsh on the film in the past, but now it deserves a 2/10. It's still terrible due to the poor quality of its drama, the unsuitability of the topic of administrative matters for a movie, and the perceived biases of the film. There are worse films out there. Original Review: This is the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. The film has been criticized for the poor quality of the drama, the unsuitability of the topic of administrative matters for a movie and the perceived biases of the film. I'd rather watch Kod Adı: K.O.Z. and Jurassic Shark than this absolute garbage.

I checked to see how bad this film is. I should've gave this movie a 0, but something's breaking that purpose to get there. With an extremely rare 1% score on Metacritic's metascore, it's only safe to say... "What a disappointing film to keep the year going."