Haunted Mansion

Simien has created a thoughtful movie experience that feels diverse, funny and visually interesting. Those expecting an exact recreation of the ride won’t find it here, which may be for the best. Despite a few cartoon-y scenes, Simien and his cast elevate Haunted Mansion to a thoroughly entertaining and oddly emotional good time.

At a little more than two hours (about the length of the line to get into the actual ride), The Haunted Mansion sometimes strains to keep up its frenetic pace. But the fun tone is on point, and younger family members in the audience are in little actual danger of being traumatized by fear.

Disney’s latest renovation of “Haunted Mansion” is certainly clever in building off the foundation of the theme-park ride, with a darker streak than the last stab 20 years ago that starred Eddie Murphy. Yet even with a solid cast yielding good moments, there’s a general flatness to it, and a sense the movie is seeking to scare up what it can in theaters before settling into its natural haunting grounds on Disney+.

Waffling Disney can’t decide if it wants this thing to be a quirky and fun but unsettling movie like “Beetlejuice,” with some real guts and creativity, or another schlocky ad for a Disney World FastPass. At times Simien’s film is surprisingly dark and emotionally honest, while at others it’s kitschier than “The Country Bear Jamboree.”

The material simply isn’t strong or self-interested enough to support a cast as rich as the one Simien assembles here, a fact made all the more obvious by the director’s natural facility for staging ensemble comedy in the face of mortal danger.

At a running time of over two hours, the experience eventually feels as wearisome as riding the same ride over and over again.

A movie like Haunted Mansion is always going to be, at its heart, a cinematic advertisement for the theme park, but couldn’t we at least run with that idea and make it fun?

Haunted Mansion is refreshingly adept at what it wants to be: nostalgia tinted fan service which creatively checks all the boxes of a theme park attraction. It offers solid chuckle-worthy humor throughout with the occasional belly laugh; a good level of spooks, which are fun to behold but safe for the family; and a great cast who bring dedication to their parts, no matter how silly. The art direction is fantastic, the editing is swift, and the score offers many creative uses of the ride theme. Most importantly the filmmakers have captured the vibe of the ride, which is all a fan could ask for. That they manage to do it so stylishly in a way that doesn’t make eyes roll is miraculous. The negatives of the movie are that it doesn’t start out great and takes a bit to get interesting; there are a couple too many “heart warming” scenes that throw off the pace, however necessary they may be to story payoffs; and the humor borders on cheeky at times, which doesn’t always translate to high rewatchability. All that stands in the way of Haunted Mansion becoming a perennial holiday classic is testing its rewatchability. If these jokes are still chuckle-worthy after two or three viewings, then it could enter a rare pantheon of movies that a certain demographic of film fans are compelled to watch every year. Granted “A Christmas Story” is a holiday favorite that, were I to watch it every week, would become increasingly impotent at delivering the holiday spirit it’s called to deliver on time every year. Haunted Mansion isn’t on the same level of brilliance as the most celebrated seasonal fare but it’s nevertheless a welcome contribution to a lovable niche I call “spooky but safe.” This lives at the edge of ‘camp’ and generally includes halloween episodes of your favorite tv shows and youth oriented horror— much of it made by Disney. There is something that makes us inherently giddy about the supernatural, and when mixed with light comedy, it creates an extremely entertaining confection. This is Haunted Mansion’s mission statement and in my book, it succeeds.

What struck me first was that this film is surprisingly funny and more entertaining than I was expecting. The characters are great except Harriet who I found a little annoying but only a little. There is not too much ghost action until the climax so it can be a little slow. Actually the middle act is pretty dull and doesn’t add much of anything to the film. The ending is pretty cool and fun. It is not very scary so more of a light comedy with ghosts than a family horror. None of the peril feels dangerous or scary, it just seems to lack urgency. Overall it’s entertaining but forgettable, I'd rather be on the ride. Oh and there is so much product placement and it is painfully forced in.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Haunted Mansion is a typical movie from modern Disney. There is a good cast, there is not a bad CGI. But everything else is either mediocre or terrible. In the first Haunted Mansion film for the younger age category, the film is not just made for children. There's no message or idea in it. Can we say that about Disney's gold projects? Which are relevant at any age. Haunted Mansion has nothing to surprise, it's a purely commercial project. I didn't watch the first film adaptation of 2003, but I'm sure it turned out better. Haunted Mansion is a vivid example of Disney's complete creative impotence. A check-in movie that no one wants to watch, I turned it on only for the sake of the cast. That's the only plus of the movie.

Wish I could ask Disney why this film was made and who for. It is neither funny or scary so I can only assume the target audience would have been 8 to 12 year olds. Not convinced that they would be impressed by this piece of work. I was totally bored throughout the 2 hour runtime & am only grateful that I didn’t waste time and petrol seeing it on the big screen.