jarjarblonks

A chore to play today but still a very interesting look at gaming at the time. There are some oddities that make it stand out as a very distinct gaming experience, crouching with the mine detector to collect enemy mines through snow is a positive one! having to take hardcore benzos to be able to aim a sniper is not one of them. (the sniper wolf boss fight is one of the worst in gaming) To me the story of metal gear has yet to live up to it's universal almost religious praise, the writing is **** corny and stupid with the occasional good twist. No, this is not some of the best videogame storytelling, what crack are you smoking. Otakon at one point verbatim says "My name is otakon..... its kind of like otaku". Snake is a bumbling idiot going from point a to b with little introspection or thought. We meet characters, get told they are important and then they die an hour later. The Rex boss-fight was genuinely really fun and i strangely found the last third of the game the most enjoyable.

San Andreas is the best GTA game and this game deserves much more recognition in gaming discussions than it has. Yes, people remember it fondly but seriously this is the most sandbox driven action packed story out of all the 3D GTA games. You can finally swim, there is stealth mechanics now, there is a great expansive map with so many distinct locations, you can fly properly now and parachute and land. This game knocks vice city and GTA 3 out of their own franchise and runs laps around the convoluted and needless boring missions found in GTA 5 (and red dead 2 tbh). So many action packed missions, with the new skill progression everything you do in the game feels purposeful and meaningful. Custamisation is primitive in accessories like clothing, but surprisingly deep in terms of physique and look of CJ.
CJ himself is a pretty likeable and decent protaganist. The game does a good job at making you sympathise with his perspective and juxtaposed his brothers on him being gone from grove street so long. I wish they developed Big Smoke a bit more before the big twist but it works as is. I would say my favourite thing about this game is the gang warfare. My Dream GTA game is one where you spread your reach through gang conflict and trade until you have conquered an entire city or metropolitian area. Kind of like a merging of the idea of Tommy Vercetti becoming the independent criminal King of Miama and CJ’s Grovestreet/Balla gang warfare. You run an empire, completely customisable in insignia, clothing and outcome. You can join another gang and work your way up from there or create your own from **** Andreas is the closest to this dream and made me believe it actually possible. This game is the first out of the OG trilogy to have shooting i would classify as “acceptable” for its time and only its time. One day we will have a good combat in a rockstar game that isn’t max payne, one day.This game also pleases by getting exponentially better as it goes on, the second act is so much better than the first and the last few missions are the best ones. Characters like woozie and the truth have probably become my favourite GTA characters, as well as Big Smoke of course.

im sorry but its like. this is embarrasing that this exists. this is a caricature of a cashgrab. **** UI, filled with microtransactions and AI art slop. A campaign that is warzone without the fun of fighting real players, just a a grindathon with a story that pisses on the BO2's legacy. The idea of a multiplayer campaign sounds cool, shame it had to finally happen when the franchise is at its lowest. Multiplayer is as stockstandard as it could possibly be, if youve played one you have played them all. last time i felt COD had some respect for itself was Cold War, five years ago. Last time i felt it did something truly interesting or new was in 2017 with WW2 8 years ago. I usually NEVER SAY THIS, but if you buy skins for this game your a **** idiot and flushing money down the drain. makes no sense, will only be hot for a few months till the next COD gets announced. these games have no cultural impact and just have an assured cultural relevance, due to being the fast food of gaming along with FIFA. hope this **** fails and hope COD continues to fail until it radically changes or breathes for a minute. get rid of all ai art ****, sell weapon skins not operator skins, make it so theres like one attachment per weapon again so you aren't playing against some twitch addicted kid who knows the exact meta tweak of every gun. make people care again, find an identity, you aren't fortnite.

I can't find the version i played to review. I played the SEGA ages port to the switch 2. I really enjoyed so much of this game. It has such a distinct aesthetic, charm and vibe with a decent soundtrack and beautiful to this day visuals. I love 2D scrollers and this is a big enough difference to mario that it feels both familiar and fresh and new. So why so low for such high praise? Well. This has some really, really REALLY awful level design. So you got this character who likes to run fast right? thats like his main thing? I got it! lets make precise slow snail pace jumping sections! lets make the end half of the game underwater where he can drown which makes exploration unnatractive and you constantly have to stop and get air! genius! the level design is pretty consistently awful, despite some really fun gameplay mechanics and such a strong artistic vision. also really good simple boss battles! im excited for the sequel, hope it has better levels and more polish. **** THE WATER LEVELS.

WOW. this game is **** CRAZY. in the best of ways. The game opens. BJ isn't dead, is instead in a wheelchair fighting on a submarine in said wheelchair, he feels completely deflated and confused at what he is doing in his life (literally me). The leader of his rebellion group is killed in front of him and he narrowly escapes with the survivors. This game does not give a **** about not being too edgy, hardcore, or outlandish. It does not care about what you think about it. it is an uncompromised, unminimised artistic statement. more punk rock in tone than the serious drama war story of the first game. with that said It can have it's serious moments, there is a section in which you are going through the ruins of New York, which was in this universe, the one nuked instead of Nagasaki. Its silent, and horrifying and respectful to it's premise. You see newspaper clippings about how the US slowly lost. You see the disregard for what once was. The game also tells of BJ's childhood abuse at the hands of his father. The way he was forced to shoot his dog. From an early age he saw how people would constantly play victim, acting like a race or group of people is why their life is downtrodden or painful. How they act like its the truth. How they use that self concluded truth to hurt and oppress others. It also leans much more further in influence from liberation groups from capitalism and leftist rebellions from right wing authoritarians. It does not compromise from its subject matter, it challenges the player to think about it and confront the way people in even our world today are treated. The guns feel **** AMAZING. Loud expressive shots spring from their barrels splattering the enemy onto the wall. Outstanding graphics, colours pop in beautiful consistent quality and a stable 60fps+ frame-rate. The soundtrack by Mick Gordon MAY be my favourite of his. While the first game was more harrowed and sometimes subtle, The New Colosuss is loud, head-banging and heart pumping. In tone, it feels like a Tarantino movie. A gang of much more zany characters than the first stuck tryna take down the regime. Guts, ****, blood, swears and yells. quippy to the point editing and character dialogue. The Games balancing needed some work, certain sections had major difficulty spikes. (the courtroom especially) However when i think back on this game that is not what i remember. I remember the roaring soundtrack, badass characters and story of an uprising. I wish all games had even half the courage of The New Colossus.

This game is heartbreaking. You begin fighting a losing war and watch as your brothers in arms die beside you. You then wake up to a world run by the most hateful, divisive, evil group in modern history. The enemy won, the world you knew is gone. BJ's entire purpose from there is to take back the world he lost or die trying. You feel his apathy to his own life as he throws himself at the enemy again and again making little dent. This is his one and only purpose, this is all he can do. He meets up and joins a group of other rebels against the Regime, minorities, outcasts and those deemed "unpure". They have something the authoritarians never have or will: Hope. They band together to take down and rescue prisoners of war, finding out what the **** are doing and how to stop it. With fiction that has **** as the antagonist, often the exploration of their acts are shallow, they are depicted as stand in bad guys with no exploration and frankly, no passion, a bland caricature of evil and wickedness. The Wolfenstien reboot HATES ****, hates everything they stand for and shows how awful they are, and the effects this has on the minorities persecuted. It doesn't just call out their acts but the seeds that blossom to their disgusting fruit. It calls out the insecurity masking as strength, the forced, jammed down throat pseudoscience proclaiming itself to be natural. It intelligently, with courage call's out the bigotry inherent to White America, how the **** learned originally from americas racist past and present to their own order. This game because of this intelligent introspection, sadly would not come out in this year, even though it is needed more than ever. It would be review bombed and for calling out what is the truth. BJ sacrifices himself at the end at the hope of a better world against a worse one, as so many did in the real second world war. genuinely truly inspiring and brilliant storytelling, told with respect and maturity. it shows the effects of the **** regime on an oppressed people and it decisively answers what to do with a ****, with flying colours.

I think this is much better than GTA 3, a massive step up in sandbox opportunity with motorbikes, planes, helicopters and actual working boats. Tommy seems like the most competent of the GTA protagonists, he enjoys his job and is good at it. Much different to the GTA 4/5 protagonists who (while efficient) constantly seem like they don't want to do any of this and are instead acting out of anger or doing it for someone else. Not a Shakespeare level story but pretty decently written and interesting. My favourite quests were the biker gangs, the cab missions after you buy it as an asset and the "film studio" ones. I love love LOVE how fast you can run in this game, i feel like a jacked psychopath protagonist which is absolutely the vibe. Speaking of, the general vibe, colour pallette, music and fashion do such a really good job of showing the 80's time period. Banger after banger on the radio, i added a bunch to my spotify. so if i like the game so much, why is is the same as my GTA 3 score? well one it would be a 7.4 if i could actually rate this how i want, above gta 3's strict 7. **** metacritics rating system. more importantly two, there are so many controller throwing, unnecessarily hard, punishing, long winded missions and sections that made it an incredibly frustrating playthrough, much more than the first game. the game lies saying there is checkpoints, but it just restarts you at the beginning of the mission. while this was in the previous game this is much more frustrating because Vice City has much longer multi-layered missions compared to GTA 3. The game also is not obvious in progression of missions, certain character quests one after another end without a sense of conclusion. I rarely knew, at the end of all missions with a character, that it was the end. This carries over into requirements to get the ending. I had finished every single mission i possibly could, including all of the gang missions on both sides of the gang war, I even did a telephone and basic cab driving mission which in any other circumstance i would never do. I had no idea what to do from there, or whether i had already finished all the missions unbeknownst to me. WELL turns out i should have been buying property the entire time! the OPTIONAL properties have their own missions which when you complete about 20, after buying EVERY SINGLE CHAIN, then you can play the final two missions and finish the game :3 This comes out of NOWHERE, and hit me like a truck. I had spent all of the money I had got in the game on ammo and guns, oversupplying myself because the game did such a poor job at explaining what else i could do with it. I was then softlocked out of getting the ending because i was broke, and couldn't get more money because i had done all the missions already. This forced me to reload a save from hours ago losing progress and do a glitched mission called "Cone Crazy" which if you do right, gives you millions if you get good at beating your score. Finally after about 40 mins of grinding and an hour or two of doing what i had already done, I could do the missions which took about four hours. there was a whole 1/3 of the game unknown to me because the game never highlighted it was possible. I had to find it online out of disbelief. When I looked at the comment section for the tutorial on how to get the ending, there were dozens of commentors saying they had been stuck as I had for DECADES with no idea what to do or where to go. really bad game design. and this especially **** because Vice Cities ending kicks ass, there is a decent twist and you get a scarface showdown in your mansion against the main antagonist of the game. it's really sad most people won't get to experience it, because they were never directed in the ways to unlock it. despite my gripes with the process to get the last half, i still had quite a blast and enjoyed playing.

This is one of the VERY few times a classic has been under-selled and under-hyped to me. Love the physics, holds up as a very fun chill sandbox game! Very refreshing in the modern day. Health system could be better. Worst part is the last few missions, suddenly incredibly hard and the difficulty spike comes out of nowhere. story is really nothing, but to be honest the simplicity is apart of the charm.

**** brilliant. Great progression, fun combat, and brilliant atmosphere. graphics were a little flat but the ambience and passion was there so its completely forgivable. Great game.

Forgettable bland fun time. Baby Yoshi is incredibly cute and should come back, although if he does then this game loses all of its uniqueness.

The animation is absolutely phenomenal, the level design is so creative, its like they put a million different ideas they had since the forgettable wii u game into a blender and it came out as an amazing smoothie. The way it slowly ramps up in difficulty, world after world is seamless with no difficulty spikes. This game also has marvellous spectacle, piranhas will sing, there is rock concerts, you get to play as a goomba, what more could you want? I suppose my only criticisms are that the map could have been better presented visually and easier to navigate and also i feel like the soundtrack isn't as strong as some other entries in the series. A truly wonderful game.

For the first half of the game, i thought it was an instant classic 10/10. actually unbelievable quality, amazing level design and graphics, that mario galaxy ideas every ten seconds innovation, it was all here! then THAT scene happened. dude. compeltely ruined the tone, pacing, my investment of the characters and it comes out of NOWHERE and doesn't return. what the **** was that. genuinely one of the most disturbing things ive seen in a game. afterwards the game has this really weird section with clockland? it doesnt really have anything to do with the family? and is disjointed from the rest of the game? you go on a fetchquest for like four remaining sections and every character becomes unlikable because of that one scenes aftermath (and a few others, like wtf was that going inside a dead whale) it doesn't feel like a kids game but the characters still are written like it is, really disconcerting and weird. and its such a tragedy because genuinely this is one the most quality, entertaining and creative games ive ever played. but the game is almost overstuffed with drawn out overly long sections. the devs threw paint at the wall and its great but there are times where things could have been cut. in an age of unfinished releases, this is the one case where there was TOO much, and more should have been cut. everything about this game is so exceptional, including where it so strangely falls on its face.

no soul. good games but what a FOMO anticonsumer move this idea was, shame on nintendo.

is it bland? i mean i guess? but its MARIO BRO. mario when bland is still better than most of the industry. fun and suprisingly very challenging game.

might be my favourite mario game. perfect difficulty. PHENOMENAL soundtrack. lots of fun abilities.

Its a quite good game but tropical freeze improves on it in every single way that it doesn't feel as unique special or memorable if you play the series. still lots of fun though.

One of the best platformers ever made., 10/10 level design, music, and art direction where i was entertained nearly the whole way through.. until the **** final boss ever. genuinely bafflingly boring, unfun and unsatisfyingly hard. cant believe its in the same game. final boss is some of the least fun ive ever had in a game. without that ending though its absolutely brilliant