Expired_Cologne

Hard Time is a role playing game that allows you to live your life as a convict in one of the harshest prisons of all time. I made my character Jack Sun and had a life or death situations thrown at me daily. Of course Jack Sun made the right decisions because he's a bad a s s like myself. One of the many things in Hard Time are the annoying cops and how they like to shove their latex gloved hands so far up your r e c t u m you'll want to quit playing. One example of a r e c t u m fondling is when my friend took a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom after taking a unusually large ****. An inmate approached him and asked. "Hello ma'am. could i buy that toilet paper from you for $3?" "Sure", said t a i n t. T a i n t had 3,000 dollars at that time. A guard noticed the transaction and arrested t a i n t for selling contraband. He took all of her money and begun putting on his latex gloves. T a i n t, knowing what was about to come pleaded, "please don't sir, i'm begging you, don't." He ignored her pleas and shoved his massive hand into her oily r e c t u m. Everything went dark and t a i n t woke up the next day with a sore bum. Anyway, the guards have no respect for anyone and will beat you down until your character goes mentally insane and kills somebody without any concern. You are then rushed into handcuffs and are scheduled a court date. You get 200 days for murdering an innocent old lady, which you didn't have control over your character while he/she was insane. You can also become a kingpin like the legendary Jack Sun did and donate all of your money to the sell block you live in. Jacky Boi was one of the few that made it out alive. Undercover cops say that he has been seen in the los santos part of the country and is doing very well for himself. The game is pretty good though. -thanks for the pepperoni pizza-yours truly-Jack Sun's maid

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DC Universe online is a open world mmo that allows you to choose a variety of powers that have no effect on how you play the game at all! You will see alot of awfully made satire Marvel characters that are just too sad to look at in the DC world. There are way to many **** i n g deadpool fanboys that are praying to Stan Lee for a Marvel Universe online, like get the h e ll out of here no one even likes deadpool, all he does is sprout stupid sly remarks only a 12 year old would find funny, or older people with mental and personality disorders but Stan Lee knew he would have to cater to those fans too. Thus deadpool was born. God d am n it sorry i got off track. Anyway you get to choose between a hero or a villian. Ony the sociopathic teens would choose villians because their mom doesnt let them listen to their heavy metal in the house. After choosing the hero side you get to choose a mentor which only contributes to the move sets you get. Theirs wonderwoman, batman and superman. which ever one you choose sends you to their city of protection. This is where all the other stupid looking characters are. You will get to do quests that normally **** up and repeats the same g o d d a m n dialogue over and over. "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." "Your hacking skills are good lex, but not good enough." Anyway the game is kinda stupid and really boring as you get to fight **** i n g apes and other stupid ****. The characters look like an 8 year old child with major downsyndrome colored onto a napkin and gave it to the developers. With scarecrow looking like he frequents children's birthday parties. I am just sick of this game's ****. I cringe whenever someone asks to play it. The voice acting budget had atleast $39 to it's name. Martian Man Hunter makes my d i c k stand up and barks. The word is low res and not interesting to explore. You can only fly so fast, it'll make you want to make a new character and do the same stupid intro level again. In the end though you realized that someone on the dev team got **** in the butt by a DC employee and got really salty and tried to make the worst game with their name on it ever. And that my friends is exactly what they did. Thanks for the pepperoni pizza-yours truly-lex

THIS REVIEW IS STRICTLY FOR THE ONLINE FEATURES: Welcome to gta online, after you've made your generic looking character that looks like everyone else, it's time to grind for money! (or buy a shark card with real money which is stupid as h e l l) You can start by entering a deathmatch! The rules of this game mode is to see who can lock on the first which is boring as **** and really cheap. Races are pretty good. The community is an absolute cancer, you are guaranteed to meet; that 12 year old the brags about KD and money, Illegal alien, small mexican children, one old ass man that will try to troll you by following you around in passive mode in a car while constantly honking the same d a m n horn sound (and yes I am speaking from experience). You will be randomly killed by that one british dude that you have no idea how he connected the a eastern -US server. Get **** talked to from black men. Things only get more exciting from here though trust me. With the new heist dlc new players are **** e d because the only way you can play one is if you own a $200000 and up apartment. Most of the dlcs are pointless. They kinda make you wanna say. "Can you guys just work on the next gta, or max payne," or any of their titles would be great. so you better start grinding for that green bb. Armored cars are a **** and only those type of people drive them (including myself). In conclusion I would like to say that gta online has reduced my level of brain cells and continues to do so as I keep playing this game. thanks for the pepperoni pizza-yours truly-meekhel

The only reason you would play this game is because it's free and you have no other games to play. **** 2 drops you into a world filled with islands. There are small islands and rather large islands. Each island is uniqe in it's own way. Whether it's the biomes or just the size... or the number of red team on the map thats about to r a p e your butts. It's so annoying having to prepare my a n u s everytime we (the purple team) go into battle. There are hardly anyone on the **** azz blue team. The objective of the game is to see who can stay at a,b,or c and not die the fastest. Period. The people with the most objectives eventually take over the island which is total b u l l **** because they just go to the next one. Theres lag and generic looking players which is kinda racist if you think about it. I would rather go to CGULLZ t a i n t solutions and have my t a i n t have a hole drilled in it than play this game. thanks for the pepperoni pizza-yours truly-dohnkie

The only good thing about this game is Kevin Spacey, don't let the exo suits fool you. Image waking up on Christmas morning to the smell of nice cinnamon and cookies. You get out of bed and find Kevin Spacey **** on your fireplace and wafting the smell about the room. "You've made a huge mistake kid", he says as he drops the final load. "Now give me your $60". You hand him the money and he flies back up the chimney and into oblivion. What you are left with is a literal pile of **** Don't give in to corporate greed, we should all go on strike and burn our copies until they are liquid, then drink the liquid. Thanks for your time and for gods sake don't buy this game. -thanks for the pepperoni pizza-yours truly-shrek

This MMO is a running simulator to start. The quests you run 15 minutes to are very boring and don't get me started on the dialog... It's like trying to rush through a zoo not seeing all of the zoo animals but trying to find the restroom. But that restroom has a great soundtrack. Angel from Angel's Erotic Solutions recommended this atrocity to me and I immediately gave it a chance (along with many of my friends that are also selling the game as we speak). I was hoping for less cartoony graphics and even less ridiculous quests. ITS SOOO BORING. I want to rip a fetus out and send it to zenimax online. Thanks for the pepperoni pizza -yours truly-Shrek