Bartleby_theCat

It’s a sappy and sentimental film, but if you’re a 53 year old Vietnamese refugee watching it with your 79 year old mom, it hits pretty close to home. I don’t know if this is a spoiler (but the movie is so predictable that I don’t think it matters), but it feels like a Hallmark movie in a Vietnamese setting. My mom wept through much of it, so it does a good job of targeting a certain demographic. Be forewarned, although I’m used to reading subtitles, I struggled a little with the ones in this film. Either they go by a little too fast or they’re translated in a clumsy way, but I spent an unusual amount of effort reading them (or maybe I was distracted with trying to listen to the Vietnamese language being spoken).

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

The last third of the movie (after the plot twist) makes this movie somewhat enjoyable. The problem is that the first two thirds lacks focus. There are too many characters, and it is difficult to become invested in any of them. The character development is obligatory and superficial. I can overlook the bad CGI and ridiculous looking costumes. The problem is that it's a three hour movie, and the first two hours are kinda boring.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

I wanted to like this movie so much, but it feels like it was written by a 10 year old. The story is so convoluted. It seems like half of the movie was devoted to finding Kong’s axe. Of course I’m willing to suspend disbelief while watching a monster movie, but the movie-maker has got to try to be somewhat reasonable. The whole Hollow Earth realm seemed like it was imagined by a child. The Madison character (and that entire story arc) contributed absolutely nothing. The only thing I liked about it was that there was an actual winner (unlike Batman v. Superman).

I judge Mulan on its own merits. I understand people expected this to be a live-action remake, but the filmmakers intended to make something like a Mulan/Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon mash up. For me, Mulan starts slowly, but it develops good themes. The action scenes are decent. It wasn't a brilliant movie, and admittedly, I liked the original animated movie better, but there's no way this movie deserves a 3/10 rating. My 12 year old daughter enjoyed it a great deal.

I hadn't heard a lot of buzz about this movie, but if you're reading this, you feel (as I did) obliged to watch. While the trailers did not look very promising, the movie itself was very good. To me, it was the funniest of the franchise.

After watching this movie twice, I have concluded that (1) the emperor wears no clothes and (2) if you think highly of this movie, you are PRETENTIOUS. Please, be honest for a moment. You read all the critical acclaim this movie has garnered (it's the only reason you saw it in the first place) and you don't want to seem like the person that "doesn't get it." Permit me to help you feel better about yourself: this movie was unwatchably bad. You know it; I know it; and now I give you license to be truthful. Imagine for a moment if this movie was filmed in color. The "artsy" feel is instantly removed. All that is left is intolerably bad acting and no story. People have written that this movie has a nontraditional storyline. If you want a nontraditional story of life in an impoverished neighborhood, drive to an impoverished neighborhood and hang out for a while. You would never do this for two reasons: it's a stupid idea and you would be insanely pretentious to do this. That's all this movie has to offer.