The Last Templar

Templar is done in by being both too late and too long. At two hours it might have worked.

At four hours, you are left with far too much time to ponder the feebleness of the endeavor. If you decide to get on this ride, prepare to be dazzled by little more than the glorious scenery.

Unfortunately, it also possesses the true Halmi signature: despite the fact that it’s packed like a sausage with banter and jokes both verbal and visual, it doesn’t contain a single genuinely funny moment.

What begins as a more than slightly fantastic revision of the Templar legend takes an ill-advised turn toward theological theorizing and New Agey spiritual advice.

After about an hour of jumbled storytelling and bizarre juxtapositions between the 13th century Latin Kingdom and 21st century New York, the prediction is you'll be less intrigued by the legend of the medieval Knights Templar than you will the prospect of catching up on your reading.

Sorvino is wholly unconvincing as an Indy Jones type--which might actually work if the story went in a parodic, quasi-farce direction. But the whole production is hobbled by an uneven tone; it's not frightening enough to work as a conspiracy-adventure, not funny enough to work as light romantic comedy.

The Last Templar is nobody's idea of a seaworthy miniseries.