Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman

I have to clear a misconception up! It states on here that there is a Season 7 of Dr. Quinn and there was NO Season 7. It was cancelled after Season 6. What is listed in here under Season 7 as Episodes 1 and 2 are actually Dr. Quinn movies. What is listed as Episode 1 is actually the first Movie called; Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman The Movie, and what is listed as episode 2 is actually called; Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman The Heart Within. They are not episodes.

Boy, was this show stupid. Dr. Quinn was this hot chick who couldn't take her bath at night or eat a freaking sandwich without somebody in town falling off a barn or getting run over by a wagon wheel. And her boyfriend! Yeah, right! This is the cowboy days and Doc Quinn has a 28-year old HUNK for a beau. PFFTTT!!!! Gimmee a break. She'd be driven out of town on a rail. She always had her hair all cute and her face all made up to look like she's ready to do a photo spread in Vogue or something. Everybody came to her for advice, though she really didn't know anything, and what's worse, she never really did anything either. She sat around all day doing her nails or watching soap operas. This whole show was a soap opera. A western soap opera. That hunk would have dropped her as soon as some new saloon floozy blew into town. She'd blow into town, she'd blow him, then she'd blow out of town again. When Doc took a nap, you just know the hunk took a horsie ride to the next town to go into the saloons and flirt with the young girls. All the townspeople were losers, too. There were guys with really long hair and bad guys who would show up trying to cause trouble. And where was Doc Quinn? In the outhouse reading Woman's Day magazine, of which she was probably on the cover. There were too many enigmatic characters on this show. Hunk for one. He was a young, vibrant, strong piece of meat. He would have done Doc Quinn maybe once, but then he'd disappear like water on a sundeck on a hot day. And all the women in town would ridicule Doc Quinn. ****! You know how they are. Always gossiping and carrying on. I prefer a more realistic show, like let's say that Dr. Quinn got to town, set up shop, met The Hunk, and he ended up doing her on the floor of her office. Then he'd sneak out and get drunk and tell all his friends how he made out with the new Doc Quinn. That's a real story. Or how about somebody gets bit by a snake and Doc Quinn can't save the b*stard. Oh well, no fee to collect there. I think Doc Quinn should have opened a funeral parlor. Then when one of her patients buy it, she can just have Festus bring the body to her dungeon where she embalms dead people. Besides, she's been doing that for years now as a hobby. She even put up a sign that says: "Dr. Quinn's Mortuary Dungeon -- Free Parking out behind the blacksmith's corral. Complimentary Embalming for new customers. Our motto is: "If you've hit the rocks, we've got the box." That's box as in coffin for you slow mofos. Anyway, Doc Quinn was beautiful, but a total old maid. OK, she had The Hunk do her once a month. So what? What did it get her? Stoneys. That's what. And did he ever call her? If there was such a thing as a phone back then, Doc Quinn would be waiting by it all day and night. Did The Hunk ever once send her flowers? NO! What did he do? He'd go pick her some flowers from a field somewhere. She didn't want that crap. She wanted some flowers from the expensive florists down the street. She wanted roses from a gold shield, not wildflowers from a dirty field. Maybe The Hunk took her to dinner once in awhile. But where?The nicest French restaurant in town (if they had one of those)? NO! He'd take her to McDonalds for a McWestern omelette. I think Doc Quinn deserved the best. That's why if I dated her, I'd take her to the finest Denny's in the territory for some hearty steak and eggs. And I'm sincere. All I'd want in return is a quick blow job in the outhouse. Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman was a new kind of show. A chick doctor in the cowboy days. Could you imagine that? What did this gorgeous woman do when some dusty sleazy stinky cowpoke came to her because he had crabs? Eeeeewww! She'd have to say, "Drop your britches, cowboy." Who knows, maybe she liked that kind of thing. These cowboys were cruddy and yucky. Honestly, how often do you think the old cowboys on the range took a bath? Once a year maybe. OK, let's say once every six months. And where did they take a bath? In the crick? I bet the fish in the crick got sick. And now what? Doc Quinn has to find a new guy. God forbid she not have a boyfriend for 6 or 7 minutes. Anyway, this show was good because Jane Seymour is hot and The Hunk satisfies the chicks in the audience. What was better, Gunsmoke or this tripe? OK, I gotta be honest, I like Jane Seymour. I'd rather look at her than Festus and his traveling flea circus. Or Hoss on Bonanza with a stupid hat and fat self. Lay off the ravioli, Hoss. Here, have a carrot. So for anyone contemplating watching this show, think real hard because some of the occurances on this show made Little House on the Prairie look like General Hospital. What were the writers so afraid of? Geez, just make Doc Quinn go to a dive saloon in the next county on a Friday night and get eaten out - by ME. I lived in the next county. C'mon Doc Quinn.... be there or be square. Let's do some fun things like drinking til we puke or milking every cow at all the crap farms in the area.