SHlTGAME101

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

More random event garbage. Just like FTL (ick). No amount of planning on your part will prepare you for the RNG events that take away all of your supplies. You shouldn't need a **** step by step walkthrough to beat your game, devs. It's not **** rocket science.

This is your standard brutal platformer, that panders to the nostalgia snorting ADHD kids. If you fit that description by all means go ahead and try it out, but you're better off checking out the free flash version instead.

If you're looking for a game that is smooth flowing, intuitive and not repetitive at all, this is not for you. The combat system is the most clunky I have ever experienced, your character is slow and lumbering no matter what, and chances are you'll only be able to get 2 hits at most on a monster before you get flung across the map in the most dramatic and unnecessarily long knockdown animation ever. Not to mention the healing system; be prepared to stand still for 2 minutes while your character sips a potion delicately and then proudly exclaims to the world that he is now at slightly higher health capacity. Expect to do this every 30 seconds from the tutorial onward. Half the battles consist of at least 3 of the following **** occurrences, pick your favourites: - Being trapped underneath a large monster completely - Being knocked into another part of the map because you were standing within 2 miles from a cliff edge - Charging up an attack only to have the monster dash away at the last second -Getting stunned for 10 seconds every 3 minutes in a battle -Palicos being useless pieces of **** and not knocking you out of a sleep or stun -Having to sharpen your weapon LITERALLY EVERY 30 SECONDS which takes another 10 seconds to complete -Most of the weapons' damage ****. I mained the insect glaive and it's a piece of **** even if you micromanage the essences on a monster for half the match the damage isn't enough to warrant playing it versus some of the other weapons. You can't even block. -Awful camera too zoomed in to see what you're doing, especially when a monster is on top of you -Weapon sharpened to anything less than perfect? Have fun doing 0 damage and having your attacks bounce off And I'm not even going to go into the farming system, which is tedious at best. The fishing system? Unnecessary, boring and has no depth to it whatsoever, just another means to farm. But hey, at least they took out swimming.