Charlie's Angels

Here everyone, even Bosley, seems interchangeable.

The underwhelming cast brings nothing to the boilerplate action. Kelly is miscast as a biker chick, and making Bosley a hunk with computer skills fails to add life.

The writing is glib (the term "cat fight" is actually used) and the action relies more on gadgetry than "Mission Impossible." However, the women all look great.

Charlie's Angels is as absurd as the original 1976-81 series that launched the careers of Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson and Farrah Fawcett (and her hair).

[The original series] had energy and glamour and a self-aware sense of frothy fun, all of which are missing from this lugubrious update.

It's not just a lazy idea, it's atrociously executed, pathetically acted and cynically conceived.

They come off as interchangeable affirmative-action figures who make Farrah and company look like early suffragettes who fought for the jiggle rights we now take for granted.