Funtastic

• The standards of modern games and gamers have become so low that garbage like GSS can easily earn "very positive" reviews on steam these days. • "Gas Station Game." is what it actually should be called. Because calling it a simulator is an insult to the games actually deserving of the title. While GSS is obviously just another product from the simulator-conveyer-belt the industry has kept running for years now, catering to those with the lowest expectations imaginable, at least it's one of the less bad ones. It's still quite bad, though. • The whole game just looks like a student project. Terrible animations, everything seems janky. The game mechanics are as basic as they could get away with. Hardly anything makes sense in terms of realism or even basic logic. The costumers are generic and ugly and they litter like the floor is the actual trash bin. The amount of sand they bring in in no time is ridiculous. While they're mindlessly waiting in line you can break open their trunks, because why not? They probably don't hear the noise over the constant honking outside anyway. In the meantime they're enjoying the useless decoration and the walls that need painting once a week. Not because of little Dennis painting graffiti outside, but the mere passing of time. It's just very low quality paint, I guess. If you run out of stuff you place an order and run over to your warehouse while your customers are waiting. After unloading everything manually the truck driver happily leaves with the back doors of his truck open. (quality programming, very postive steam reviews) The story and humor are terrible as usual, as if written by teenagers. • Another "uncle leaves you 'this' to work with" - scenario with constant cring-worthy attempts to be creative or funny. Like that giant alligator that lives in the sewer nearby and needs to be fed with trash bags occasionally so you can keep using your washing station. Or the party bus full of alien customers with the same dancing animation.. •And this goes on and on and on... I eventually quit. Terrible game. • 3 out of 10 trash bags •Oh and THANK YOU metacritic for completely braking the formattting and forcing people to read through enless walls of text. WELL DONE!

Disappointment, please! - Let’s make "Papers, please", but with cars. - This or something similar must have gone through the brilliant minds who tried to emulate what the successful indie hit did back in 2013. The creators of Contraband Police were so inspired by their ideal that they forgot to make it look like they have their own ideas. Eastern european setting – check. 80s time line – check. Communist oppressive regime – check. Basically everything was ripped off shamelessly, including the symbol of the ficticious country we are serving. Arstozka or Arcaristan. Even the name sounds the same. Now, what do we do? We do the same old. Checking cars, cargo and people. We make sure everything is in order, while the game keeps distracting us from actually trying to do that. While the original put us into the daily grind at our desk and establishes a sense of familiarity and repetitveness, contraband police seems to want to force us into an action packed open world experience with an exciting story, car chases, gun fights and all sorts of badly programmed nonsense. The driving is awful, the gun fights as well. I stopped caring about the story quickly, cause its just another opressor / resistance sheme and it’s not done well enough to keep my attention. The constant distraction wouldn’t be such a problem if it was actually fun. But it’s not. And I felt bombarded with phone calls, „opportunities“, attacks on the border station, driving prisoners to the labor camp through ambushes, having to maintain ammunition, vehicles and tools that break after a couple of days and all sorts of other things, while having to take care of daily border business, which is also constantly changing. I just want your papers, please.. I felt quickly irritated and annoyed, cause I just wanted to rely on the established rules I learned in Arstozka. But Arcaristan is more like GTA with some occasional paperwork. 4/10 stamps

Overhyped pile of poo. It's on full release but should have stayed in beta. • Boring fetch-quest-story • like many games of this genre a total lack of logic in the survival mechanics (amount and type of resources needed to craft items and buildings and more) • Technology tree makes no sense. The game is divided into 4 different tech branches: building, survival, farming, production. Each of them contains different disciplines, like tailoring, smithing or cooking. But, you have to unlock them progressively, which for example means you need to grind production to first unlock the kitchen, then the smithy and so on. Convoluted BS. Those are independent disciplines and should be available individually. So Good luck farming for hours to be able to buy and keep a horse, just cause you need to unlock the stable in the farming tree. (remember the fetch quests?) Another example: Grind the survival technology to unlock the hunting lodge. This allows you to buy (buy!) the stone spear technology. Stone spear can only be crafted in the smithy, which isnt unlocked yet. [Aw go f*** yourself] • Hunting is mostly terrible. Full hits with wooden spears and the animal runs away like it's nothing. Though sometimes you hit them in the face and they just walk away.. Let's not talk about sneaking.. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• The rest of the game is pretty decent I would say. But who wants to invest time in a world of lacking logic and content with hardly anything to aspire to. And there is plenty of more weird stuff. Sure, I'd love to build my own village, but **** in this one. 5 out of 10 Stones (you can pick up to build houses on)

I was excited to try out this new survival game called "Green Hell", which looked promising at first glance. What I found was rather disappointing. While the overall setting, idea and graphics are cool, the actual game play is rather poor. You're stuck in the amazon jungle picking up stuff from your surroundings like wood, stone and all sorts of edibles like fruits, nuts, herbs, mushrooms and different kind of animals. Sounds fun, until you realise how complicated it is to maintain your overall health, sanity and energy. By far the most annoying feature is keeping yourself fed. With 3 different stats to maintain (fats, carbohydrates, proteins) the game is basically becoming a diet manager. With the help of your magical watch, which knows exactly what elements your body is missing, you're constantly balancing nutrition as if it's only possible to survive like this. So eventually you're forced to eat meat, which has to be cooked, unless you want to vomit in the jungle and become insane. Which forces you to make a fire. Creating a small fire is like creating a piece of art. You need exactly 6 small sticks and 8 sticks, otherwise its not a small fire. But since it's constantly raining in the jungle your fire goes out quickly unless you create a shelter for it. With more wood. And more leaves. Leaves you can not just rip off the plants, you actually have to destroy them. With a tool, that you have to craft. Which drains your energy while swinging it. The more tired you get, the less energy you have. So go to sleep, and waste valuable time. So you're running around the jungle, wasting time, to find the exact pieces you need, instead of just finding wood and burning it. And while there are actually structures in the game, you could use for shelter or take material from they are merely cosmetic. Logic doesn't apply in Green Hell. You have to do all these things before it's getting dark. So dark that it's hard to recognize and find the things you need to survive. The day is pretty short and your character is strolling through the jungle like on a vacation. So good luck with cooking that meat. And you still need water, my friend. Clean water, unless you like parasites that drain your energy. So either find somethin antiparasitic to eat, find a coconut shell and wait for rain or build a water filter, which you need a blueprint for, unless you have personally memorized how to build it. There are plenty of ways to gather rain water in real life, but you are stuck in the jungle with a lack of creativity. Saving the game requires a specific type of building. So either build that or die from a jaguar attack, crazy natives hunting you down, snake bites, food poisoning, poor diet or just your random PC crash and start all over again. Of course you can deactivate perma death, but you could also implement a reasonable save game system. Overall the game is squeezing you into it's idea of survival, which feels odd and exhausting. Way too much effort for too little of an outcome. The difficulty of Green Hell is a supposed selling point, but without sufficient logic applied to the game mechanics its just a chore, instead of a creative sandbox survival game. The word hell does indeed apply. The Long Dark did it better. I give it 4 out of 10 maggots.