Bach741

I found it funny that the only game I gave a perfect rating to... has no written review. So here you go - I am almost through Journey 8 (8th time through the main game), and have beaten the DLC twice now. This game STILL entertains on a weekly basis - from invasions, to co-op, to collecting and leveling up weapons... it's the cream of the crop. I got the platinum trophy years ago, and I still get excited to play this game. That speaks volumes. Not flawless, but definitely closer to a 10/10 than a 9.

Not at ALL an 8/10 game, and here's why... -*-*- (I'll assume Metacritic still hasn't acquired the super high-tech magic of line breaks, so that's what mine will look like. I guess that's the price to pay in 2024 when you want to give an honest opinion, and not have some obsessed moderator go on a power trip, or some other user whine about 'trolling') -*-*- To start, the game does very little to explain any ANY the mechanics to you; even stuff as simple as weapon combos. It's just more of this artificial difficulty BS that souls-like wannabes try pulling off. "iF wE dOn'T eXpLaIn ThInGs, iT'LL bE hArDeR!!1!" -*-*- Let's talk about the enemies, and how massively annoying they are; especially the ones that seem to appear from out of NOWHERE. I understand most of these might be hidden in the background/foreground before they attack, but why make the game so zoomed out if that's the case? Again, artificial difficulty - what any crappy developer relies on when they can't make a game genuinely challenging. Also, turns out I died FAR fewer times to bosses than I did any of these exasperating normal enemies. -*-*- By far and away, the airborne enemies will be your biggest hassle in this game. Their movement patterns are enormously obnoxious; swooping in close, attacking, then immediately moving to your other side just as you swing to hit them. Then on many occasions, they will just fly away as you're fighting them - soaring completely off-screen before they meander back to irritate you some more. -*-*- When you drop your salt after dying (the currency used to level up), it sometimes takes the form of one of these winged enemies, and can be a wildly tiresome experience to defeat... again coming obnoxiously close, switching sides over and over, randomly flying away to leave the screen, and for some reason having WAAAAAY more HP than other enemies in the area. Why?... two words. Artificial difficulty. -*-*- Ground-based enemies can be equally as annoying, as they are free to chase (and attack!) you through the doorways that link different areas. You can't see what's going on in the neighboring area before you go through these doorways, but that won't stop enemies from chasing you through them. This also applies to off-screen enemies shooting projectiles - just when you think you're out of range... you're not. -*-*- There's a MYRIAD of other reasons this game's average shouldn't even come CLOSE to an 8/10, and apparently a lot of the critic reviewers were blind to them. Tsk tsk. Let's go through just a few. -*-*- I abhor enemies in games that seem to have infinite poise... so why are there spindly little arrow-shooting skeletons that can continue to pelt you with arrows while you beat the crap out of them? No physics in the world of S&S? -*-*- On many occasions did I see bosses executing moves based on my button inputs. Normally that's reserved for fighting game AI, where it's equally as annoying. -*-*- Again, enemy movement behavior is off-the-charts stupid. Some of them will run at you, then turn around and run completely off screen again before they come back? -*-*- When you drop your salt, you BETTER remember where it is! Because there is NO map. No map??... in a metriod-vania type game as challenging as this one!? That just sounds like more horrific game design to me, which means they relied on... say it with me... ARTIFICIAL DIFFICULTY. -*-*- Also, after a boss fight when you have a nice big pile of salt and you're scared to bits of losing them, there almost never seems to be a sanctuary close by. As opposed to the souls games, where there's almost always a place to level up right next to the boss you just beat. Artificial difficulty! -*-*- The button used to change weapon sets can't be used during certain animations. This sounds like a small gripe, but if you've played the game you know exactly what I'm talking about. -*-*- At one point, I encountered INVISIBLE ENEMIES. That's right; invisible unless you use a special potion or incantation to see them... multiple clusters, with multiple invisible enemies in each. Do I even need to say it?... -*-*- Putting "new game" as the first option on the title screen... I mean... come the f*** on. That's just some rookie BS right there. -*-*- There are bottles with messages that other online players can leave, and they can be quite useful!... until you're trying to stand in the exact millimeter on the screen where you can access it from. Then after you're mashing the button to finally open it, you instantly close it and the message/hint disappears. -*-*- Finally, as stated, you lose salt every time you die, but you also lose GOLD - taken by the stranger who hauls your dead body back to a sanctuary. Thankfully, I never found out what happens when you run out of gold, but what a crappy way to instill more dread and concern in an already irksome game. -*-*- There's no way in hell this game is an 8/10. No way.

**NOTE - I originally gave this game a 4/10 because I started with the Medic class, on the easiest setting, and was getting absolutely ANNIHILATED. To be fair, I started over with the Handler class... and the game was 300% more approachable. However, the score will still be lowered on two counts: 1. For not warning me that a solo Medic run would be that tough, and 2. For not having a better balance between characters in the first place.** *^*^* I kept hearing this game was "souls like", and it certainly does share various characteristics of those titles. But the lack of balance between the character classes is somewhat appalling. With the medic class, it seemed like enemies were constantly creeping up behind me and quickly becoming overwhelming. I barely got to the second boss before I was moments away from deleting the game entirely - on the easiest setting!!! I have beaten almost every game in the souls library (some multiple times), so it just wasn't making any sense. Thankfully I read how much more beginner-friendly other classes were, namely the Handler, which I highly suggest for first-timers. *^*^* In other ways, Remnant II is not specifically "souls like" at all. Do souls games have "bosses" who rely on smaller, grunt enemies constantly distracting you to achieve a sense of faux-difficulty? (a HUGE pet peeve of mine in any game - make a damned boss that can stand on their own, or don't bother trying) Remnant II seems to lean on this crutch more often than not... but in the same breath, I can say that many of the bosses are quite creative and original. *^*^* Other drips and drabs to add to the frustration are: >> Tapping square to pick up each individual item? Do I not want each individual item? Isn't this game all about the loot? >> Fall damage is somewhat unrealistic >> Enemies do this insanely-annoying "capoeira"-style strafing/dodging move that I remember enemies from Uncharted 1 doing... and it was equally infuriating back then too. Not only that, but I've witnessed bullets traveling directly through enemies during their hit animations. >> Most larger-type normal enemies always seem to have smaller butt-buddy tagalongs to distract and irritate you, much like the actual bosses who can't depend on their own attack patterns without the help of grunts. >> Running doesn't even seem like running... AT ALL. It's more like your two speeds are "slow jog", and "slightly faster but still slow jog". And why does it seem like every enemy can match my "slightly faster but still slow jog" speed? Kind of defeats the purpose. >> The first long gun the Medic receives takes... and this is no joke, I timed it... SIX SECONDS to reload. Know of any beginner weapons in any Souls game that takes SIX SECONDS to reload? Again, DO NOT try your initial play through with the Medic class!!! >> The training system is widely obtuse and disjointed. I don't give a damn if I played the first one or not - you better be educating me from the start. I spent most of the entire 1st tutorial boss fight trying to figure out how to switch weapons... only to get the "press triangle to swap weapons!" loading screen a whole half-hour later. >> Objectives on the map don't appear as "!" icons until you are basically right next to them. >> R1 is zoom OUT on the map screen?!? Name me one other game (that didn't stink) where the R buttons (R1/R2) weren't zoom in, and the L buttons weren't the opposite. When bumper buttons are used to zoom, the ones on the right are always zoom IN... I absolutely can not fathom who made this decision, and why. >> Most conversations with NPCs are like "choose your own adventure" books. If you're like me, and couldn't care less about story and plot, you'll likely be just as annoyed. "Hey, I'll choose my own adventure... the one where I don't care one iota about fictional, digital characters and their imaginary lives." *^*^* In the end, I'm VERY HAPPY I reset and tried the game again with a different class. And honestly?... this would have easily been an 8/10 if my Medic experience hadn't been so foul and upsetting. For those of us who weren't balls-deep into Remnant I, how about a little warning that I might be picking a class that's no good on their own offensively? One that might be better-picked for a co-op setting? **sigh** *^*^* It's not a souls game, that's for sure... but it's the closest I've ever seen an FPS coming to one! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ And one final note to MetaCritic - if you're going to count line breaks as used characters, then SHOW THE F***ING LINE BREAKS IN THE REVIEWS!!! Also, s-u-c-k is a banned word? Lmaooooooo

It’s not hard to screw up Family Feud… the formula is there, all you have to do is follow it. And this game does that fairly well. I especially appreciated how all of the predictive text answers are yelled by the host when he points to the board, just like the game show. It’s just too bad it’s not Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, or Steve Harvey. No, the severe flaw in this game is an extremely obvious function the developers completely failed to include… YOU CAN’T SKIP ANYTHING!!! You can’t skip cut scenes, you can’t skip lines of spoken dialogue, you can’t skip animations… It’s insanely infuriating. That’s one the biggest insults I can imagine as a gamer – when you can read the subtitles faster than the character is speaking, but you can’t skip ahead, and are forced to listen to the rest of it at the speed the character is talking. To anyone with the reading skills of an 8th grader or better, this is just flat-out annoying. Even at the discounted price of $10, the slow pace you are forced to experience the game at is still a huge turn-off. The only positive comment I can make about it is "Oh well... at least it's kinda like really being on the show, and experiencing everything in real time". Except I don't play video games to experience things in real time. That's called "life", And one rule in life? UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENES IN VIDEO GAMES ARE UNFORGIVABLE. In fact, I think I might get that tattooed on my lower back as a tramp stamp one day. It would be well worth it... I just wish Ubisoft would get one too.

It’s not hard to screw up Family Feud… the formula is there, all you have to do is follow it. And this game does that fairly well. I especially appreciated how all of the predictive text answers are yelled by the host when he points to the board, just like the game show. It’s just too bad it’s not Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, or Steve Harvey. No, the severe flaw in this game is an extremely obvious function the developers completely failed to include… YOU CAN’T SKIP ANYTHING!!! You can’t skip cut scenes, you can’t skip lines of spoken dialogue, you can’t skip animations… It’s insanely infuriating. That’s one the biggest insults I can imagine as a gamer – when you can read the subtitles faster than the character is speaking, but you can’t skip ahead, and are forced to listen to the rest of it at the speed the character is talking. To anyone with the reading skills of an 8th grader or better, this is just flat-out annoying. Even at the discounted price of $10, the slow pace you are forced to experience the game at is still a huge turn-off. The only positive comment I can make about it is "Oh well... at least it's kinda like really being on the show, and experiencing everything in real time". Except I don't play video games to experience things in real time. That's called "life", And one rule in life? UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENES IN VIDEO GAMES ARE UNFORGIVABLE. In fact, I think I might get that tattooed on my lower back as a tramp stamp one day. It would be well worth it... I just wish Ubisoft would get one too.

It’s not hard to screw up Family Feud… the formula is there, all you have to do is follow it. And this game does that fairly well. I especially appreciated how all of the predictive text answers are yelled by the host when he points to the board, just like the game show. It’s just too bad it’s not Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, or Steve Harvey. No, the severe flaw in this game is an extremely obvious function the developers completely failed to include… YOU CAN’T SKIP ANYTHING!!! You can’t skip cut scenes, you can’t skip lines of spoken dialogue, you can’t skip animations… It’s insanely infuriating. That’s one the biggest insults I can imagine as a gamer – when you can read the subtitles faster than the character is speaking, but you can’t skip ahead, and are forced to listen to the rest of it at the speed the character is talking. To anyone with the reading skills of an 8th grader or better, this is just flat-out annoying. Even at the discounted price of $10, the slow pace you are forced to experience the game at is still a huge turn-off. The only positive comment I can make about it is "Oh well... at least it's kinda like really being on the show, and experiencing everything in real time". Except I don't play video games to experience things in real time. That's called "life", And one rule in life? UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENES IN VIDEO GAMES ARE UNFORGIVABLE. In fact, I think I might get that tattooed on my lower back as a tramp stamp one day. It would be well worth it... I just wish Ubisoft would get one too.

DinoBeam is an assclown. While this game did miss several marks, it is certainly no “disaster”. Also, playing it on the Nintendo switch is great because you can fast-forward through all your battles, making exp and meseta farming at least three times faster

"A Pong game? Hmm. By Atari!? Hmmmmm... $15?" Sure, there was some speculation to begin with. But after several hours of play, I can happily confirm that Pong Quest is WELL worth the price of admission. It's a quirky, funny adventure with a decent amount of challenge, and more than just a couple hours of playtime. As you might expect with Pong, there's nothing too flashy or ornate. The different attire customization / combinations you can give your character (pong stick) are fairly robust. This leads to a nice variety of NPC and enemy types - all simple pong sticks dressed up differently - most of whom have something witty or funny to say. Fair warning though... putting a hat/hairstyle on your Pong stick can be dangerous at first, since it doesn't technically extend the length of the stick. I played the first 30 minutes or so with a tophat on my character, and had shot after shot fly over my head because I was trying to use the tophat. I strongly recommend you play hatless/hairless at first, and get used to the exact length of your character. The game is designed around dungeon-exploring; very similar to the style of the original Legend of Zelda. The map is revealed as you venture from room to room - fighting enemies, meeting NPCs, purchasing power-ups, or completing a small variety of puzzles. Each dungeon is complete after a certain task or parameter has been met, leading to a boss fight that's actually much less daunting than it initially seems. (We'll see if I still have that opinion after I try Expert mode!) As far as the battles go, that's where the core "Pong" concept comes in. The fights are simple - play pong, while cycling through a short list of power-ups and using them. There are LOTS of power-ups available in the game, but you can only hold a certain number at a time. However as your character levels up, you have the option to apply several buffs, like increased HP, or more power-up slots. Between each encounter, you also have the option to drop the power-ups you might not like so much, and scoop up the ones you prefer. Battles are a fine balance between playing Pong... and deciding which power-ups work best. This can take a little practice, and is what sets the experience apart from basic, old "Pong". Some of the power-ups, and I do mean only a few, can actually work AGAINST you. You have giant whirlpools of water which can change the ball trajectory, or the Centipedes who drop mushrooms behind them, all of which the ball can bounce off of. (Centipede?... Atari?... GET IT?...) A nice catch is that you can't heal yourself between battles - you have to learn how to incorporate the heal power-ups during the battles as well. One last thing I have to point out is that you must hit the ball with the FRONT surface of the Pong stick only. Maybe my memory is fuzzy, or I played a different Pong back in the day... but I could swear that you used to be able to hit the ball with the SIDE, or narrow portion, of the pong stick. In this game... not so much. I also haven't tried local 2-player mode, but I can't imagine it being much different than the Quest battles, which means even more hours of fun. I admit, I have been buying more obscure, relatively unknown games in this day and age of quarantine, and it's really nice when one turns out better than I expected. If you appreciate a good bang-for-buck value, and you have fond memories of Pong, don't miss out on this one.

The digital age is a double-edged sword... not dealing with physical copies of games is nice, but when you run into a title like Golf With Your Friends, and wish you could return it... you're screwed. First of all, I'm surprised - Team17 games usually seem a bit more polished than this. (A little bit, at least) To start, local multiplayer can only be achieved by taking turns, and SHARING the same controller. Wow guys, way to max out that tech. There are plenty of little hang-ups and issues that plague the game, like glitchy walls suddenly disappearing. The clincher so far has been the penalty strokes. The game says it will add 2 STROKES to your score if you run out of time on a hole... which is incorrect. It adds 2 strokes TO YOUR MAXIMUM ALLOWED SHOTS. So, if you have it set to a 12-stroke-per-hole maximum, and you run out of time on your 6th shot, you would assume your score for that hole is an 8, right? NOPE... it's the max shot allowed (12) plus 2. In other words, EVERY hole you time-out on counts for 14 strokes. It's ridiculous, and quite frankly amazing how someone could screw up simple math (and a simple explanation) like that. IF you decide to suffer through this game, take my advice - turn the hole time limit up to the max (5 minutes, or infinity), and don't run out of time! Plenty of other little hiccups run rampant. You quickly realize that during the hole preview (where you hit triangle and are free to move the camera around the hole), you can STILL wind up adjusting power, adding spin, and even HITTING the ball! Several times, I've been mapping my path to the hole, when I accidentally tap X and "whoosh"... there goes my ball without me properly lining it up. A few other mentions... the menu screens seem somewhat convoluted and clunky. The par suggestions for each course seem designated by super-nerds who played this crap nugget for weeks and weeks, then decided their VERY best shots on each hole should be considered par. And again... one shared controller for local multiplayer? Blows my mind... Everybody's Golf is also $20, and is LEAGUES better than this game, in every respect. DO NOT BUY unless you are just dying to play a mini-golf game, and have no other options. **raises hand** Like me.

(232 negative reviews, LOL... you kids are trash at games) There's one problem with this game - the framerate drops. You get a lot of slowdown on the screen when a lot starts happening... but it's not that often, and the awesomeness of the game makes it a near-forgivable offense. The ONLY reason I can't give this a 10/10 is because of the slowdown, but the game is amazing. My PS4 2019 GOTY hands down, without question.