Auritone

I had high hopes for this games as the idea of a sandbox type zombie brawler game sounded interesting. However, after finally having played it I have to say that I was very disappointed by how lazy this game feels in its execution. Now, there is fun to be had (I was mildly amused the first 4-5 hours) but as the game continued all its flaws started to stick out more and more. The story is less than bare bones with characters so uninteresting they might as well just be text messages telling you where to go next, and when the game seems so disinterested in telling a coherent story and about everything that happens and everyone you meet, then why should I care at all? It just feels lazy. Secondly, we have the combat, which stays basically exactly the same from start to finish in terms of moves. The only real variation in combat is in the crafted weaponry, and that frankly gets old faster than a mayfly. Add to that the lack of feel of reach and impact and you’ve got a very underwhelming combat system – no matter how many limbs you can cut off (if you can get around the rather awkward hit detection). And speaking of impact… the most effective weapon I found in the game, was my foot. As there is no blocking system in the game, you use your foot to make zombies and infected stumble, and it seems more than a bit strange that a kick to the head (with a rather pathetic animation) is more likely to make zombies stumble and break their attacks than a sledgehammer, paddle, or machete to the face. The combat system just feels lazy. Then there is the mission structure, and oh my God where to start with that. You are basically just doing various fetch quests for random people that don't really seem to have any real consequences. Add to that the thing we all love – escort missions with all the annoyances that entails due to bad AI – and you pretty much got most of the game. However, where things get really bad, is how often the very same locations are used. Like in the slums where I got several missions all in the police station and some of them in the very same room! That’s amazingly lazy. And speaking of that, some of the missions seem to involve children, but apparently Techland couldn’t be bothered to make child models so the “children” are now a woman in a bikini asking for her teddy bear (making her sound as if she’s nuts), and a daughter who apparently is older than her father. Incredibly lazy. Then there’s the GPS which is supposed to show you where to go. If this was a real GPS, people would die of starvation before reaching their destination. On several occasions I found myself facing my destination only to have the GPS pointing away from it. At one point I decided to follow it, and it decided to take me around two buildings only to have me end up in the very same spot I left before it realized that my destination was right in front of me. Now that is lazy. Then there’s the crafting. What is the most important resource when crafting weapons? Is it nails? Duct tape? Glue? Tools? Sure, you need those, but the answer is - nope! It’s money! Yes, you apparently have to pay to use a workshop… No, you are not paying someone to use it, you are using money when crafting! How the hell this even begins to work is beyond my comprehension. Am I lining my weapons with money? Are the workbenches sentient beings? WHAT? Unbelievably lazy! Lastly, there are the glitches (of which there are quite a few) and the fact that enemies re-spawn in the exact same places and in the exact same number every single time you return to an area. How lazy are you, Techland? So to sum up – Dead Island is a game that barely has a story, no characters of interest, a flimsy and superficial combat system, uninteresting weapons, a senseless crafting system, weak mission structure, and ultimately repetitive and boring gameplay that outstays its welcome long before its underwhelming conclusion. I could have been more forgiving if Techland had realized the limitations of the game mechanics and made the game smaller and more focused – as well as actually picking a mood – rather than turning it into a lazy, repetitive, boring grind-fest.

After the mediocre experience that was Assassin’s Creed Revelation I was not exactly looking forward to Assassin’s Creed 3, and now that I finally got around to play it, I again wish I had not. Like Revelation this game is filled to the brim with menial and inconsequential tasks that quickly becomes very, very dull. Like the hopelessly superficial hunting system. What is the actual point of this? Well, you can choose to sell the various pelts and teeth you gain, or use them to craft various things you can then sell in trade caravans you can establish to the main cities. Oh goodie, more administration, because it worked so well in Revelation… and it is just as useless as an underwater football pitch. I established one caravan, realized it mattered little, and promptly decided to completely ignore this aspect of the game with absolutely no consequences. But hunting and trade administration are not the only vacuous aspects in this study of endless menial tasks. You can take over various fortresses as well, which could be interesting if you actually had to sneak in there, but since the combat is so mind-bogglingly easy, I found that just running in there and killing everyone was the most effective and least time-consuming way of doing it. And your reward for this? A reduction in trade taxes… I am not even joking. Then there are the ever present hunting of random chests, elusive pages of a books, killing of randomly appearing Templars, delivering letters, killing sick dogs, carrying sick people from a to b, protecting farmers, and opening up quick-travel points by traversing the labyrinth underbelly of the city, in what can best be described as playing Pac-Man with no ghosts or dots. Yes, you just walk around in largely empty corridors, lighting torches, and encountering the occasional puzzle – and I do mean occasional. But what about the naval battles? Those are fun, right? Well, to begin with, but that is mostly because it’s the ONLY variation this game has to offer that didn’t bore the snot out of me – that is until I realized how incredibly easy it was. But it still is the most fun part of this game, but like everything else these battles are largely just a series of inconsequential side-missions. Then there is the assassination aspect of the game… I mean, the game is called Assassin’s Creed after all. I went about 10 hours into the game before I got to assassinate anyone of consequence, and before that happened, I had been tasked with so many pointless and boring things to do, that I frankly had stopped caring even remotely about the story or the people in it. When I finally got to the end of the game I was so utterly indifferent to everything and everyone I was just happy it was all over. Which brings me to the story and the characters. I will dare anyone to find a more vacuous, boring, and utterly uninteresting character than Connor. He makes Twilight’s Bella Swan and Watchdog’s Aiden seem multifaceted and interesting, bubbling over with emotional outbursts. Add to that the horrible pacing (starting with a 4 hour prologue), which seems to deliberately pull you out of the narrative, while at the same time doing its best to give The Matrix a run for its money in utter pretentiousness, coupled with some of the stupidest characters and planning ever (like Desmond infiltrating places, where people from Aspergo is already looking for him, by simply walking through the front door with his hood pulled over his head), and you’ve got a story that really feels like the rest of the game – mediocre and forgettable. Lastly, there is the whole control scheme, which at this point is getting tiring. It was novel in the first games, but now it becomes more and more clear that this kind of environmental sensitive controls, where the character does everything according to what is in front of him, is wrestling control away from the player who is now only in control of steering. No jumping, no rolling, no nothing. It may look cool, but when you realize that you did not do any of this yourself, the game did, it becomes tiresome and outright boring. This is what the phrase “player empowerment” has been reduced to – “Push a button, awesome happens!” – something we saw in 1983 with Dragon’s Lair, so in 29 years we really have not evolved that much, have we? No, Assassin’s Creed 3 is NOT a step up from Revelation, but a sad continuation of beating the decomposing carcass of a long dead horse. This series (along with a lot of other “sandbox” games) may want to learn the phrase “size does not matter”, because who cares how long or big a game is when it obviously lacks content to warrant its length and size? In the case of Assassin’s Creed 3 a smaller and more focused game would have done a world of good in elevating it from the beautiful piece of mediocrity it actually is.

You want a game which says exactly what it is in the title then Gunmetal is right up your alley. “Want a story? Read a book! Now, here is a mech and some missiles. Go blow stuff up!” It’s basically a game which knows exactly what it wants to do and how it wants to do it and then unapologetically does it. I love that! The combat is hectic, the controls tight, the graphics are very nice, and the overall feel is as it should be as you seamlessly transform from mech to plane and back again and blow things to smithereens. The only minor gripe is the lack of multiplayer and that there are only 14 missions, but those missions will keep you on your toes as some of them present quite a challenge. I only recently stumbled over this game, and I have to admit it has turned into a guilty pleasure. Gunmetal is nothing revolutionary (even back when it was released in 2002), but it is just good, explosive fun. Definitely recommended.

The Ghost Recon series made its name as a tactical shooter. Over the years the tactical elements have been slowly but surely watered down, and unfortunately we have reached a new low with Future Soldier. FS is nothing more than a 3’rd person shooter with some quite superficial stealth elements. The tactical commands you can give your squad is now reduced to tagging (lifted straight from Splinter Cell Conviction) which enemies should be taken out or suppressed, or commands to heal squad members rather than actually command your squad (who would want to do that in a tactical shooter anyway, eh?). The open areas you had to slowly and carefully explore in the series beginning is now nothing but a series of linear “hallways” (complete with invisible walls) which sometimes opens up into larger “rooms” followed by yet more “hallways”. And to make matters even worse, the story, the characters and the settings all seem to be lifted straight out of any other modern shooter of recent years giving a terrible sense of déjà vu throughout the entire game. That said, the shooting and cover mechanics work well and the enemy AI is quite good as they use grenades effectively and try to flank you. The same unfortunately cannot be said for you squad members who on several occasions throughout my play-through seemed to get sporadic episodes of mental meltdowns making them leave a suppressed cover and rush forward in a hail of bullets. This didn’t happen often, but just enough to be really annoying. On the positive side the campaign is quite long and does try some variation (with sporadic success), but this however did little to distract from the clichéd plot and characters or the sense of déjà vu both in terms of gameplay, levels, and story. There is very little here you haven’t seen or played a million times before. The only thing that stands out in this game is the multiplayer which is very solid with 4 interesting modes, and playing through the campaign with three other players is actually the only thing that makes FS feel somewhat reminiscent **** Recon game. Ghost Recon is not a bad game, it’s just doesn’t feel like a Ghost Recon game, but more like CoD in 3’rd person, and that’s a shame. This is a well presented 3’rd person shooter, which unfortunately only manages to stand out a little in the multiplayer. If you want a solid 3’rd person multiplayer shooter give it a go. If you want a singleplayer tactical shooter (which this franchise used to be) leave it alone, because it has nothing to do with the Ghost Recon franchise. FS is yet another example of a franchise abandoning its roots in order to look, feel, and play just like everything else. It’s really getting tiresome.

Let’s get this out of the way. I’m quite disappointed with Bioshock Infinite. I was looking forward to a big world to explore with interesting characters, a great story, and of course some satisfying action to spice things up. What we get with Infinite however, is a game of missed opportunities. Unlike the original Bioshock the beautiful world of Columbia feels more like walking through Madame Tussauds than a city. Sure people are doing things, but they all have the feeling of waxworks that you can’t interact with in any way other than listen to their conversations, or, when the action picks up, shoot them in the face. A big drawing point of the original Bioshock was the story, which fit perfectly with the setting and the action. In Infinite everything feels a bit disjointed. The idea of the vigors is basically a crossover of the plasmids from the original, which caused the fall of Rapture and so played a part in the original story, but in Infinite they are like most other things in Columbia, just sort of there. These vigors are the source of your special powers, but these powers are strangely useless. It doesn’t feel like the action was designed around them as the original was. They feel like something that is there simply because they were in the original, which makes them rather inconsequential. As a matter of fact you can go through the game without using them. Then there’s the story. On the surface you get a very humane story of redemption and the frailty of men and human ambitions (along with political commentary), with some very emotional and well voice acted scenes, but the minute you walk through your first tear in time and space is when the story starts to fall apart, and from tear to tear in the fabric of reality, the story opens one problem after another ending in a rather contrived mess. Then we have Elisabeth. Now, Elisabeth is largely a well realized character (though there are some serious problems with her in regard to the story), but her presence is both a welcomed addition, because she’s a likeable and interesting character, and a major problem in terms of gameplay. She basically acts as a default lifesaver. You run low on health, she magically finds health. Run low on vigor, she finds salts. Out of ammo, she supplies. Leave a vending machine without buying anything, a lot of coins magically appear at her feet. (For some inexplicable reason she can’t seem to pick up lockpicks even though one of her main abilities is picking locks.) This makes the game a lot easier than it needed to be and removes tension from the fights. Then there’s her ability to apparently render herself invisible to enemies. Considering that your character is there to free her, protect her, and bring her back to New York, it feels very contrived that she’s only in any danger in cutscenes where the player has absolutely no control. During fire fights, where bullets and grenades are flying all over the place, she’s in no danger what so ever. Again this simply removes tension from the fights and undermines the whole idea of you protecting her. So what we are left with is basically the FPS which is the main element of the game, and it unfortunately feels a little sluggish. Now, even in the original the FPS elements were not the best parts of the game, but since everything else worked so well, I sort of forgave it its shortcomings in that area. In Infinite it stands out as it’s the only thing that’s actually left for you to do. That is such a shame considering the obvious amount of work and love which went into the realization of the city in the skies and the presentation of the game as a whole. It’s not that the shooting is bad, it’s just not as good as seen in other more “focused” games. Now, this may sound extremely negative, but despite its shortcomings I actually enjoyed Infinite. It’s a good game! It’s a very beautiful, well presented shooter, but it could and should have been so much more. I still recommend it, but just realize that behind the beautiful facade there really is nothing much to uncover, and that’s a shame.

Finally got to play this installment of the Assassin’s Creed series and I sort of wish that I hadn’t. After playing through it, I seriously think a name change is in order from Revelations to Executive Administrator, because that’s what most of this game feels like. Following the story you get maybe 5 to 6 hours of game-play, but if you spend time looking for all the treasures, buying reel estate, hiring assassins and sending them on missions to various historical cities and leveling them up thereby functioning as mentor of said assassins so they can take over various assassins headquarters spread throughout the beautifully realized Constantinople, defending said headquarters in a rather flawed Tower Defense game, playing through the FPS Tetris/platform levels to restore Desmond’s memories etc. etc. etc. the game will probably last you about 14 to 15 hours if not more. Yes, most of the content in this game is actually blatant, inconsequential padding, which somehow also manages to have the extra benefit of being quite boring. Actually, I’m a bit ambivalent about this game. The story is pretty good and the game works when it remembers that it’s an Assassin’s Creed game and you actually get to assassinate someone, and we get to say goodbye to the two main characters of the previous games, Altair and Enzio. Their stories are wrapped up pretty well. However, this is marred by the endless padding of menial tasks you constantly find yourself doing and leads in my view to an overall very weak game, which lacks focus. It seems like Ubisoft were treading water, trying various stuff out without having an actual overall game plan. The administration of assassins is a perfect example of this. Let’s forgo the fact that the leveling up of the various henchmen is so superficial they might as well have left it out completely, but when the struggle for control of various major cities against the Templars feels more like sending out tax collectors, the entire idea is completely undermined. Unfortunately it’s the same with most of the other non-story driven events in the game. Also, the combat is in dire need of reinvention. When being surrounded by guards doesn’t inspire you to run away, but instead makes you shake your head, knowing full well there is no way in all hells ever invented by man to scare the living crap out of children that they will be able to kill you, followed by what is now nothing more than a mindless quick-time event (block combined with attack equals instant kill), there really is no sense of threat leading to no sense of excitement. And just in case it wasn’t easy enough you can even outsource your kills or most combat situations to your assassin henchmen (if they’re not busy collecting taxes, that is). Assassin’s Creed Revelations is fundamentally a rather mediocre and largely uninspired game in an amazingly beautiful and extremely well presented package and if it wasn’t for the story, there would be nothing for me to recommend (except the music).

Everything has to have a reboot these days, so now it’s Tomb Raider’s turn. Granted, if a franchise was ever in serious need of a new take on it, it most assuredly is the Tomb Raider franchise. Now, I like the Tomb Raider games and have enjoyed all of them (with the exception of Angel of Darkness, though it had some good ideas), but let’s face it, the franchise was getting a bit long in the tooth, so I applauded Crystal Dynamics when they told us what the game was going to be. So, is the end result any good or is it another Angel of Darkness? Luckily the answer is that there is no Angel in sight! As a matter of fact, it’s a damn fine game. The first thing that strikes you, is how different the style is from the other games of the franchise. Lara is no longer the carefree, thrill seeking, overly confident action heroine we have gotten used to and love. Now, she is a somewhat naïve, adventure seeking, young, insecure, vulnerable woman who finds herself in a kill or be killed struggle for survival. A special shout out has to go to Camilla Luddington playing Lara who manages to perfectly mesh together the young Lara’s vulnerability and insecurity with the “kick butt and take names” attitude of the old Lara, making her quite a credible and sympathetic character to play. The gameplay has also changed somewhat as the caves and ancient ruins, though they are there, have largely been replaced by mountains, woods and more modern structures, all adding to a more gritty overall style. The shooting has been vastly improved. Rather than the lock-on system of old we now have the very familiar controls of any third person shooter, which to me is a good thing as I always found the shooting to be the weakest part of the Tomb Raider franchise, making the shooting sections a lot more satisfying. This fact combined with overall good and responsive controls, reasonable enemy AI, interesting and varied levels to explore and some good characters and an at least interesting story (if not close to original) which is extremely well presented, you’ve got one of the best games released in 2013 so far. However, I do have a few problems with this game. The hunting aspect is used only once. The rest of the “hunting” is not to get food, but simply to gain experience which seems like a bit of a missed opportunity. Why emphasize her first kill of a deer to get food, when it’s not used throughout the rest of the game? I know this scene is used more for character development than anything, but when you then go on a killing spree, slaughtering animals left and right for no other reason than to gain XP, it undermines Lara as it seems a bit out of character, even if there is a limit as to how many animals you can viciously slaughter. Secondly, Crystal Dynamics unfortunately seem to have fallen into the “fear-of-people-getting-stuck-so-we-better-hold-them-by-the-hand-like-a-child”-strategy which seems to permeate all triple A titles today. The introduction of the all too pervasive “sixth sense”, enabling you to see all points of interest as fluorescent, takes the exploration factor straight out **** which actually seems to WANT the player to explore. Rather counterproductive, I would say. What ever happened to the player being able find things on their own without fluorescent lights and holograms guiding them all the way? What are developers so damn afraid of? This is also unfortunately present in the puzzles. Everything that can be manipulated is of course highlighted, but to further dumb down the puzzle aspect (which isn’t exactly rocket science to begin with) Lara will constantly give hints as to what needs to be done. Well, not so much hints, as almost bloody telling you exactly what to do with what and how. Really, Crystal Dynamics? You actually found that necessary in a game which is obviously not targeted at children? Lastly, we have the “stealth” parts of the game, which are so guided they might as well have been cutscenes. They do a good job in regard to the story, but not in regard to gameplay as there really are no other places to go than the one the game wants you to. Deviate and die, CoD style. Yet another missed opportunity. All of these problems lead to my main problem with Tomb Raider. It’s simply way, way, way too easy. Throughout the entire campaign I died three times. Three! I’m not exactly a joypad wizard, so when 99% of the times I die in a game like this is because I actually wanted to in order to see the rather effective and quite horrid death sequences, then the game is extremely easy. Without said problems I would have no problem calling Tomb Raider a classic in it’s genre, but with them it’s just (and this is by no means a bad thing) a very, very good game which deserves a lot of attention and though it feels too guided at times, I still found it extremely enjoyable to follow Lara on her new journey. Now, if Crystal Dynamics could just let go of our hand and go all the way…

What can be said about one of the best hack ’n slash games ever made? Well, it’s a gorgeous game with some stunning and atmospheric graphics (even by today’s standards) which pulls you into the Greek mythological setting. Add to that some great sounds effects and you got a game that’s pleasing to the eyes and the ears. Though the music overall works well, it just seems to try way too hard to be as bombastic as possible at times. This is particular noticeable when nothing is actually happening, which caused me more than once to wish the music would just take a diazepam and calm down a little. But the thing that really makes God of War the classic it has become, is the gameplay. Fluid combat against a multitude of enemies, great combos, intuitive controls, and some great, violent weaponry and godly magic, makes helping Kratos hack and slash his way through the levels in order to eventually defeat Ares in hope of getting rid of the nightmares and guilt that haunts him, an absolute joy. Along the way the action is broken up by some nice small, if not exactly intellectually overwhelming, puzzles, but they do a good job of pacing the game. Furthermore, this game is from an age when developers didn’t tell you everything you had to do at every turn through on-screen prompts, so sometimes you actually have to think a little yourself to solve the puzzles. Now, a lot of people point towards the God of War games when placing blame for the overuse of quicktime events we see in games today. I find this to be fundamentally unfair. In GoW the quicktime mechanic is an intricate part of the game, not unlike finishing- or special moves in beat ‘em ups, and it works very well indeed. Judging the quicktime events in this game by the very low standards used in games like Resident Evil 6, Black Ops 2 or the numerous other modern games, which basically use them by default whether warranted or not, is doing GoW a huge disservice. A lot of people have also pointed out that GoW was not original and it borrowed from a lot of other games. This is all true, but a game should not be judged on it's originality, but whether it sets out to do what it wants to. And the fact is, that GoW did and does this amazingly well. GoW is a classic and should find its rightful place in any hack ‘n slash or action game fans collection.

Ah, the Call of Duty franchise… What can be said about it which hasn’t been said so many times by so many people? It’s seems to be a franchise which continues to divide the waters of gamers: You either love it or hate it. There really doesn’t seem to be any middle ground on this one. So where do I personally stand? My problem with this particular FPS franchise lies very much with the developer, Treyarch, the overprotecting parents of game developers. Treyarch seems to live in constant fear of relinquishing some of their control of the game to the player, leading to one of the most scripted and linear shooter franchises on the market, at least up to this point. One notable thing about Black Ops 2 is that there are attempts from Treyarch to give more control to the player, but then it seems like they regretted their decision and pulls the players right back where they want them. One notable example of this is in Afghanistan where you have to stop a Russian assault with heavy armour, helicopters and infantry while on horseback. This initially seems like opening up for a bigger area with more freedom of movement and ways to take out the tanks and helicopters. However, this turns out just to be show, because in fact the whole stage isn’t as big as it would have you believe, there are really no options as to how to approach taking out the tanks and helicopters, and if you try to stray just a little bit, you are without warning killed off for going off the map. It seems like Treyarch tried a more open level design, but then thought better of it, making the player feel like a dog who just got a longer leash. Surprised by this it starts to run to stretch its legs only to get pulled back with a neck breaking jerk. Another attempt are a couple of tactical Strike Missions, which try to blend some real-time strategy into the franchise as well as giving the single player campaign a multiplayer “feel”. Now, this would have been a welcomed addition if it had been executed better than it actually is. The problem is twofold: First of all the strategy is extremely simplistic, leaving you with only four different squads at your command, and only being able to tell them where they to go using a quite useless overhead tactical map which I never used. You can then jump into any individual squad member and control it, whether a soldier, a gun turret, a rolling gun turret, or a small, slow walking tank. And this leads to the second problem: The AI. You get more out of just going commando on the enemy and try to do the tasks yourself, than rely on the orders given to your squads, as they will be killed off faster than a sloth on the MI5. On several occasions I have also seen squads taking the longest, and most enemy infested route possible to the destination I had set for them, resulting in them getting massacred in seconds. These strike missions are fortunately optional, but they are still frustrating to play. Other than that there really is nothing new in the single player campaign which, as usual for the franchise, is as short as ever and plays out more like a Michael Bay movie than anything else, though the cutscenes and set-pieces are as spectacular as ever. What really gets to me with this franchise is Treyarch’s reluctance to let go of the player’s hand. At one point you are on the side of a cliff, swinging on a line with you buddy using "high-tech gloves of the future" to stick to the side. Now, rather than actually letting the players do it on their own and actually climb around on a cliff surface, the whole thing is done with a tedious quick-time event. The following section which sees you gliding over mountains could have been a lot of fun, if it weren’t for the fact that it might as well have been set in a tunnel, as straying even a few meters too far from Treyarch’s very short leash will result in a restart. It's the same story with the "stealth". As usual you are left blindly playing "follow the leader", failure to do so results in you being discovered even if in cover. And that’s really my whole problem with the franchise and Black Ops 2. There are so many things which could have been so cool if you were just allowed to actually DO it. I like just a minimum of freedom and a minimum of control in my games and this franchise gives me neither. It treats the player like a little child learning how to cross a street, and never ever at any time does it let go of the player’s hand, squeezing it to a point of stopping blood circulation. That said, the multiplayer is still quite solid (if you liked it before) with a new league feature and other additions. The Zombies are back, but this time they are actually the most boring and quite ugly part of the game So other than the Strike Missions, Black Ops 2 is very much business as usual. If you like the franchise you won’t be disappointed, and if you like me don’t see what all the fuss is about… well, you still won’t.

Resident Evil 5 took the franchise in a more action orientated direction and sadly RE 6 continues that trend. RE 6 is not a survival/horror game, but an all out 3rd person shooter with zombies and monsters, and though a lot of reviewers choose to call that “evolution”, I humbly disagree. As a matter of fact the franchise feels like it has been struck with a serious case of DEvolution to the point where I actually felt like I was playing Dragon’s Lair from 1983. I wouldn’t have a problem with an action orientated RE game, if it at least was done well. But RE 6 sadly isn’t. The controls feel inadequate in regard to the action and the number of fights in extremely restrictive areas leads more to confusion than excitement. On top of that, Capcom has somehow managed to make one of the worst and least effective covering systems ever devised, which further compounds the problems of fighting in close quarters. Imagine trying to aim at a monster simply to have your character slam his back against a wall. Yes, you use the same button to aim and cover. Who came up with that brilliant idea? Then there’s the melee. Run up to a badguy and push the attack button, then sit back and enjoy (provided your character actually does the correct attack, which I have observed them to be rather reluctant to do on several occasions). It is rather frustrating to stand right in front of a prone enemy and then watch your character firmly a couple of innocent air molecules rather than do the stomp he was supposed to. Maybe the reason for this is the hitbox. Everything has to be just so… Another situation where this presents itself is with the jumping zombies. Blow a zombies head of at the “wrong” time (when it’s too close) and the now HEADLESS zombie will continue to nibble at your neck with its… now absent head. The real problem with this game is in it’s guided “gameplay”. It is very busy guiding the player’s hand from start to finish through mindless shooting and the most absurd amounts of quick-time and scripted events I have ever seen in a game. I found myself wondering if it was time constraint that prevented Capcom from having quick-time events for reloading or taking health, because there sure are quick-times for just about everything else in this game. When you are not wiggling your analogstick, pumping a button, or timing a specific button press, you are also kept busy simply holding a button for running and then left to see how the game does EVERYTHING for you. I remember a specific boss battle where I practically didn’t do anything at all myself except for the occasional button press. We have a word for that, Capcom: INTERACTIVE MOVIE! Yes, that is what a lot of this game feels like, especially when you spontaneously die for simply walking in the wrong direction at the wrong time. And then there’s the padding; the endless repetitive respawning of bosses which reaches laughable proportions in this game. Constantly respawning bosses in order to prolong the “fight” and the game does not make it exciting. It makes it laughable, and then mindnumblingly boring! But let us end this on a positive note. The AI in this game is actually a big step up from RE 5 and the decision to loose the micromanagement of your AI buddy is deeply appreciated. Other than that, the most exciting thing about this game has to be the death sequences, which are amazingly brutal. I cannot in any way recommend this game to even the most dedicated RE fan. This game sadly represents everything that is wrong with the game industry at the moment. It aims for the lowest common denominator and unfortunately manages to hit rock bottom in the process.

I... What... This is... I can't... (adopting James Earl Jones voice) NOOOOOOOOO!!!! There simply aren't words that can adequately describe how incredibly disappointed I was with this title. The sheer dumbing and scaling down and utter contrived nonsense of this game simply defies belief. To summarize: The conversation wheel is reduced to mostly two choices, which most of the time are just verbal variations of the very same choice. The Citadel has been reduced to four very small "rooms" which make you feel like you're in a dorm rather than a huge construction floating in space. The story makes little to no sense what so ever (and that's well before one of the worst, most contrived, horribly written, and senseless endings in the history of writing). Side missions consists primarily of Shep playing UPS-guy. Here's how it works: Eavesdrop on total stranger, go to system, scan planet, find object, go back, deliver found object to total stranger, the end. And if you thought Bioware couldn't make scanning planets more absurdly boring than it was in ME2 (where it actually served some kind of purpose), then you're in for a surprise. Imagine playing Tetris with only square blocks which take up the entire grid. That's scanning planets in ME3. You don't really do anything. The shooting levels are extremely linear and makes the whole game feel more like an attempt at a Gears of War clone with longer cutscenes (and a still dysfunctional AI) than Mass Effect. Oh, and did I mention the sheer amount of auto dialogue? Then there's Tali's face... Oh God, how lazy can you get? Then there's the IGN chick. WHAT!? And then there's the ending... You know, the one where all the decisions you made throughout the three games come together and gives you a plethora of different endings? Well, no! No choices you ever made make even one iota of difference. Everybody gets the same three completely ridiculous, contrived, senseless, and grotesquely illogical choices of endings. Remember we were told that the Reapers were beyond human comprehension? Well, it turns out they were right. Noone can possibly comprehend the assenying, senseless stupidity which is the Reapers and the Catalyst (or smurfboy aka deux ex machina). To sum up: Mass Effect 3 is a boring 3rd person shooter with long cutscenes and a completely senseless story and one of the worst conclusions ever in gaming history. The only reason I can swing my way up to a four, is the production value which is excellent and the fact that there is actually two missions in this game that has the old Mass Effect feel of choice and consequence. But twice simply isn't enough when we consider that was the whole premiss of the game. The story of the Mass Effect franchise is the story of how game companies all now seem to aim for the lowest common denominator (aka "as long as I can shoot stuff and don't have to actually think or do anything, I'm happy") rather than aim for excellence.

So Max is back to deal out more death and violence while pumping painkillers and booze. But is it any good? Well, yes! As a matter of fact it's rather excellent and a very satisfying 3rd person shooter, which does justice to the Max Payne franchise. But that being said, I did have a few problems with it. First of all there's the constantly shaking camera and the lens flare, which sometimes made me feel like Michael Bay and J. J. Abrams had decided to make a game together. Sorry, but I'm not a fan. When used to this extent it looses it's dramatic effect and feels more like a 4-year old jumping up and down flailing his arms while screaming, "Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me!" It got so bad I actually had to stop playing at times, fearing a seizure. The second thing is the huge amount of cut scenes. Though they are very well made and does a good job of telling the story, they simply interrupt the action way too often. Just as a good firefight is going on and I was all psyched up BANG! another 3-5 minutes cut scene ripped me out of the game. It got to a stage where I literally shouted, "NO!" when it happened because it became detrimental to the gaming experience. But all said and done, Max Payne 3 is an excellent 3rd person shooter which is definitely worth a look, but be prepared for some really annoying interruptions.

Despite it's flaws and there are more than a few game breaking glitches this game still manages to keep me coming back for more. Great turn based strategy, where the experience system actually makes you very protective of your troops to the point where I for the first time in a long while felt the need to name each of them. Has it been dumbed down from the originals? Yes. In regard to the micromanagement that's actually a good thing and the two moves system works surprisingly well. Very satisfying to see a developer listen to the fans and not do a Syndicate. Now, if we can just get rid of the glitches and maybe add a few more troops, a less restrictive load-out and more control of the base...

My God almighty... What the hell happened here? How can anyone destroy such a great premiss in such a way? When I heard of this I honestly thought it was a great idea. Playing a team working for the Umbrella Corporation busy getting rid of evidence in Raccoon City during the second game... AWESOME! And what we got was nothing short of one of the most generic, boring, and broken 3rd person shooters I've ever played. The lack of feeling of threat is astounding. This is mainly caused by an AI which couldn't outwit a used teabag. I can live with zombies not acting intelligently, but human enemies running around like headless chickens and friendlies intent on lighting themselves on fire (when not running blindly into mines) happens so often hysterical laughter of disbelief is replaced by frustrated screams of rage. Add to this an appallingly lazy level design, scripted events with the timing of most public transportation services and you've got a game which should be avoided at all costs. The only reason I can give it a two is because the flaws of this game more often than not caused me to laugh out loud.

Didn't honestly think Bioware could sink any lower, but this atrocious piece of fan fiction is simply abysmal. Think ME2 and 3 was filled with plotholes, retcons, deux ex machinas, and contrived crap. Think again! The Citadel DLC is Bioware on full **** to a degree where they completely rip off Steven Sommers' The Mummy Returns. I wish I was kidding... THE MUMMY RETURNS! STEVEN SOMMERS! Is the pit Bioware has fallen into completely bottomless?