SummaryThis British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away. One inmate is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! (Paramount Classics)
Directed By:Barry Skolnick
Written By:Tracy Keenan Wynn, Charlie Fletcher, Chris Baker, Andrew Day
Mean Machine
Metascore
Mixed or Average
45
User score
Generally Favorable
7.4
My Score
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Top Cast
Metascore
Mixed or Average
45
24% Positive
6 Reviews
6 Reviews
56% Mixed
14 Reviews
14 Reviews
20% Negative
5 Reviews
5 Reviews
88
A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.
70
Mean Machine may not have the resonance to linger in the memory affectionately as "The Longest Yard" does, but it plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch.
50
There's just no juice to this thing, merely a bunch of fitfully funny gags and a climactic football match that, under Skolnick's direction, fails to show us why the Europeans find this so exciting.
50
The surface is rough and profane enough, and the acting sufficiently restrained, to cover the sentimental story with a varnish of gritty realism. But stylish bravado and bad-boy performances don't make the film any less predictable.
42
After too many ''Full Monty''s, it has come to look like nothing so much as a coy ritual of emasculation.
38
Barely a chuckle in sight.
30
Dramatically lackluster.
User score
Generally Favorable
7.4
74% Positive
17 Ratings
17 Ratings
26% Mixed
6 Ratings
6 Ratings
0% Negative
0 Ratings
0 Ratings
Jan 30, 2022
8
A film that never forgets what it sets out to do, keep you entertained and to make you laugh and it delivers from start to finish. Great bloke jokes and one liners. The cast are great and most deliver sound performances except for Statham who needs to work on accents. Stephen Walters puts in a sound performance as Nitro 'the slaverer' but why would you want to put that on screen? It's gross and puts you off watching. The final scenes are brilliant and the commentators are outstanding.
Sep 1, 2010
6
English remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving, assault, etc then ends up in prison with several unsavoury characters.
He then gets together a team of inmates to play against the guards.
It's ok in parts, Jones plays himself, Statham is ok until he speaks & it's all a bit bland. David Kelly & Danny Dyer are good though & the music isn't too bad.
