Unladenswallow0

This is a movie about a british army colonel who has tracked a rogue syndicate of terrorists for six years, and now has the opportunity to wipe them off the face of the earth for good. What starts as a simple military flick actually soon metamorphoses into an intricate thriller that has you wondering what is going to happen next. I went in expecting there to be a load of "Agent down" "They've got us surrounded" "I;m reloading" etc etc, but there actually wasnt much of that. Instead there was an army general shopping for dolls, a foreign secretary taking a **** after some bad fondu curry, and some of the most circular bread you are likely to see in your lifetime. I was genuinely fraught with emotions toward the end of the film, i tried to balance in my head what i would do in such a situation were i in the shoes of those in power. It is often easy to waylay blame onto those in power for things that have gone wrong, however once you try to make that decision for yourself, the task becomes an altogether harder one. I Found this film to be enjoyable and is one of the biggest surprises of the year so far. I expected it to be a pile of **** and came out questioning my own existence, something i usually save for post **** depression as i close my porn tabs. Anyway, i recommend this film very highly, it will surprise you if you let it.

If you like the flintstones and you likes cloverfield, then this is the movie for you. There isnt any shaky cam for the most part, and the acting is absolutely fantastic, especially from John Goodman. He plays the part of the average Redditor who has planned for the end of the world for the majority of his life. There was not a single moment in the entire film (Other than the abismal ending) that i was not glued to the screen. I was however a little disappointing that the bunker was not further underground. The poster made it seem like the thing was kilometers below the surface, but when i think of it that would have been overkill. Over all i rate this film a 7/10. I take one point off for the missing jigsaw piece, one point off for not being able to see them complete the game of monopoly over the 3 years they were down there, and one point off for the alien **** spaceship that combusted on contact with whiskey. Also i add one point for just being so much better than all the other crap that has come out recently. So actually its an 8/10.

Young girl, beautiful and intelligent, but different from the rest, soon learns that she is the sole hope for saving the entire world. Where have we heard that before? This is what this movie is, its just so painfully predictable, even the things the characters say. Youve got the cliche "just two days from retirement" chracter deaths, obviously evil but portrayed as good middle aged balding men, you've got imaginative CGI futuristic orange bubbles that cleanse the radioactive crap from the main protagonists bodies, You've even got a character that can tell if a puddle of water is radioactive, just by looking at it! Wtf? The acting is wooden, even from the extras. I actually found the execution at the beginning to be hilarious as the extras were so terrible, waving their hands around like slightly to moderately concerned individuals at bingo. At one point my brother said to me "hey didnt we see this movie before" and i was like "nah that was the scorch trials" and he was like "nah the other one" and I was like "the hunger games" and he was like "nah man, the one where the girl saves the world from the bad guy" and i was like "oh yeah you mean the mortal instruments?" and he was like "nah man the other one".

Generally quite creepy, and very disturbing in places. It gets you on edge. You see this plantation era, god fearing family turn against one another one by one, its hard to watch in places. It genuinely deserves the description of unnerving. Even the damn goats were creepy, how does that happen? Anyway, goats aside i thought this movie was a good horror film, with very unique cinematography, and a totally new spin on the worn out cliche story of the witch in the woods.

The ending to this movie will make you want to ask for your money back. Theres my review. Also of note -was not scary -Jump scare extravaganza -the amazing cardboard actors -a story that had potential, especially the setting, but was driven into the ground by not trying to do anything unique that we have not seen one hundred times before in every other horror film.

I liked the satire the most, thats where the film actually became enjoyable, especially the parts where they take jabs at the role of directors and actors. Parts of the film were actually funny, without trying to hard to be, which is great. The majority of the movie was a meandering mess though, i didnt know where the hell it was going for the most part. When the Baltic black communist submarine came up out of the ocean to pick up Channing Tatum i soon began to realize that i may have had a stroke. The story itself was just weak, even when you make sense of it. A stronger writing board, with the same directorial set would have made this movie a hell of a lot more enjoyable than it was.

It was actually good, but i think they left out the word "assassin's" in the title. There were no hay carts in the entire movie, and im fairly certain that it was set in the modern era with no mention of the animus or even abstergo. 3/10

Was okay, plenty of action, and the bear scene was terrifying, but the rest was just leonardo going prone through the woods, swimming, observing the local bison population, and performing Grand Theft Equine before reaching the final boss room. A lot happened in this movie, but parts of it were drawn out and laborious, a shame when you see how brilliant the first 10 minutes were.

(for full effect, please read this voice in 70mm Samuel L Jackson) Wow, this movie was hyped up to the reaches of heaven and earth as the greatest thing to touch the screens of Earth since Mel Gibson died on the cross. Tarrantino, you are my man, but **** i think your time is up. What was that you said about Directors losing their mojo as they age? I think you'd better get yo'self a Directoscomy because i think youve got whatever M night Shalaman has stuck up his **** Dont get me wrong, the movie was decent. It had an amazing score, some fantastic camera work and some tense moments that had me on the edge of my seat. But jesus, it was 3 hours, 3 hours and i cant say in truth that at times i wasnt checking my watch. If you like a lot of dialogue, and you like very very slow build up, then this is the movie for you. But man, it felt like at the end Tarantino just said **** it, lets just kill the ****

Not really sure what to make of this, I was a little confused to see Gollum Radcliff scuttling about at the start. Other wise i thought it was good, i dont have anything to compare it to as this move has rendered me permanently brain damaged.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

I actually liked this movie, Owen Wilson was great, Pierce Brosnan basically played A **** James Bond but he was still good. I even tolerated the kid actors, they were okay. If you've seen Argo would basically seen this movie, but it has its moments, its full of suspense even if some of the plot turns are painfully obvious. This is a good suspense thriller, probably one of Owen wilsons best films recently.

Dont see this movie, watch the original. Its farcical, the effects are laughable, unless of course you like cheap looking 3D zombie effects and children being rag dolled all over the place. Filled with jump scares, this move was as far from the horror Genre you can get without getting into Rod Stewards dressing room. One particular scene with the shadows was creepy, and may have saved the film from a negative review from me, but overall, it was a major disappointment, dont waste your money.

Ill be complettely honest with you, i went into the wrong theatre. I originally intended to go see Paul Blart mall cop 2, and it took a good 20 minutes of intense sheperding and sheep suicide to make me question what film i was watching. Nevertheless i stayed anyway, though the place was filled with middle aged women, lustily groping at their filthy imaginations. Ifound that Far from the Madding crowd is a film about women. That sums it up nicely. Though there are technically more men in the lead roles, Bathshuba Everdeen Mall cop effectively overshadows the rest from the get go. But this fall apart toward then end when she eventually becomes tamed and end up marrying the shepard. (Which i doubt anyone saw coming, it was a complete surprise) Anyway, the movie itself was fine. I enjoyed it to some degree, apart from the soldier boy's moustache which made me develop a fear of catterpilars for some reason. I found myself both aroused and pleased at the same time overall, though i would rather have seen Paul Blart running around as a fat security man.

Ill keep this short, this movie is having an out of body experience whilst **** to MIlf porn. The story was genuinely creepy, and innovative! Ive never seen a horror film take a spin on internet horror as this film does. The entire thing is presented via a desktop setting, which sounds crap but amazingly, works. Apart from the obvious jump scare crap and rather horrendous ending, this movie is definitely worth seeing once. The second i went home i was fapping away (Quite vigorously) when a pop up almost scared the **** out of me. It will be a while before i recover. Anyway, go see this movie. Its not crap!

If you want to see Steve Carell being a creepy **** then this is the movie for you. If you want to see wrestlers grapple and slap each other on the head and eat cake and smash mirrors and run through forests and observe the equine wildlife through binoculars and inhale cocaine and respect the bird wildlife and watch the history of the du pont family then this is the movie for you. If you want to see channing tatum hit himself repeatedly then this is the movie for you. For me it had to be Mark ruffalos neck beard that made this a must watch for me. Ruffalo's beard's performance was outstanding, it completely overshadowed Tatum's performance. This movie gets a 9.734 out of ten for me but metacritic will only let me give whole number score so i give it 10. Congratulations ruffalo beard.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

This film is the probably the best thing you'll ever have. Its pretty much lord of the rings mixed with megaman mixed with interstellar, all mixed in with a sprinkle of N-methyl D-aspartate antagonists. You will feel like someone has inflated your scrotum after watching this. Its awesome.

Dark, grisly and imposing is everything this film fails to accomplish. That is not to say that it is not entertaining, it is, and would be if not for the "Dracula" in its title. It starts in a painfully predictable way, and from the get go i knew something was wrong. The main protagonist, the impaler, is not as he should be, a mass murderer of thousands who simply seems to have just gone home with no PTSD whatsoever after what should have been a terribly traumatic event. Overall this film needed more grit, it needed less superfluous over the top action scenes, and more gothic style horror that many people expected. A decent attempt but overall dissapointing.

A heart-warming, cliche bucket which to be honest is in parts humorous but for the most part it fails to hook the film goer into actually caring about the characters. It hits almost every cliche on the head from big city lawyer goes home to a small town to a father and son fishing on the lake with a whole sandwich of other cringy/yet surprisingly forgivable sequences, mostly due to RDJ's black tie humour. My biggest complaint has to be the court case. The story behind it and build up kind of felt like someone letting the air out of a deflating balloon in a cactus farm.