Twistedretro

Not as terrible as all the angry 30-somethings on here want you to think. If you can get past the new art style (which is honestly fine), this is probably the best-playing Battletoads since the arcade game. The beat 'em up sections are better than they have been, packing more depth than just dashing and mashing buttons until whatever swine or rodent you're wailing on is dead. I also really enjoyed the new Turbo Tunnel section. There are some depth perception issues with that infamous section now taking place in the third person, but it's still far more fun than the one in the original 'Toads or Battlemaniacs. My biggest gripe is the lack of online multiplayer (for a game like this, it's a serious missed opportunity) and that there just weren't enough beat 'em up levels to run through. The $20 tag is steep considering the length (my first playthrough was about 4 hours and 30 minutes), but considering it's on Game Pass, it really wouldn't hurt to download and give it a spin. If you can get over the fact that the Battletoads look different and the Dark Queen is no longer a gothic take on Jessica **** might just be surprised at how fun Battletoads 2020 is.

It looks gorgeous and the trailers may convince you that this truly is the return of good ol' Rareware 3D platforming, but unfortunately, this isn't even on the same level as Yooka Laylee. First and foremost, while the presentation tops that of any other indie 3D platformer currently available on the market, the actual gameplay is shallow and under-developed. Taramin isn't quite sure what it wants to be- you have traditional platforming sections and sections where your adorable little monkey will be wielding a gun. Both are serviceable, but never reach their full potential. The shooting sections are simplistic as can be (even Conker's "It War" section required a bit more thought and strategy) and the platforming is extremely by-the-numbers. I even found a few sequence breaks without actively going out of my way to find them. I could honestly forgive how rushed this game feels if it weren't for the fact that this was in development for SEVEN YEARS and delayed numerous times. It was supposed to drop last year but the developer, Chameleon Games, decided to postpone that in order to "polish" the game. That would've been fine, but it just doesn't show in the final product. Not only that, but they got greedy and decided to up the original asking price by $10 (originally it was going to be $30). Ultimately, this is a "wait for the inevitable 50% off sale" kind of game. The production value is high and there's some fun to be had, but for now, you're better off playing something like Yooka or A Hat in Time for your nostalgia rush.

A serious disappointment considering just how great Sonic Mania and Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap were. Sure, this game looks and sounds great and has plenty of fan **** that’s unfortunately it. The gameplay is a serious regression from most of the other modern beat em ups available right now. No parrying, running or even sidestepping...which would be fine if the enemies and bosses weren’t designed around being able to do all of these things. The end result is a cheap, frustrating experience that pales in comparison to the original trilogy as well as its contemporaries. Do yourself a favor and buy Fight ‘n’ Rage instead- it’s a true evolution of the brawler formula and is challenging without resorting to **** If the Streets of Rage name wasn’t (wrongfully) attached to this lackluster title...I guarantee you it wouldn’t be getting the scores I’ve been seeing it get.

Super Meat Boy is one of the most overrated games in the past couple of console generations. Its aim is to be a "tough as nails platformer", but unlike other challenging platformers (Donkey Kong Country, GnG, Adventure Island, Megaman and so forth) it forgets to be fun or give you any sense of progression. You simply die over and over (and over) again on one screen until you get it right, make it, and then move onto the next board and repeat the process until the game is complete. While you would still die a lot in the games mentioned above, at least it's not every few seconds and at least some of the enemy and item placements may change due to RNG and timing making for a more engaging/stimulating experience. With Meat Boy, there is no RNG and everything is reset to its original position upon death. If you really want to experience the video game equivalent of eating concrete, just go download I Want To Be The Guy for free. It's pretty much the same exact thing as this, but it won't cost you a dime.

Plenty of games have successfully emulated the presentation and gameplay of a sidescrolling classic. Shovel Knight, Bloodstained, Cave Story, Shantae, and the fantastic remake of Wonder Boy 3: The Dragon's Trap are all fine examples. Volgarr the Viking, however, ultimately falls short and it's not something I can easily recommend. To be fair, it is as advertised (upon reading the store description, you can see that this is a game that jerks itself off on how difficult it is, much like Super Meat Boy). That's not the problem, nor is the control. Most of the reviews I've read or skimmed often bring up that the controls are terrible, but I'm willing to bet these people haven't played Ghouls n Ghosts or Castlevania. Both games had "stiff" jumping mechanics, meaning you could only jump straight up or in a fixed arc left or right. This meant you couldn't change direction once the jump was initiated. Volgarr handles much the same, which is perfectly fine. As long as you've played either of the games I've mentioned, you'll feel right at home. Where Crazy Viking Studio really screwed up in my opinion is the checkpoint placement. Either these guys haven't heard of them, or they're just sadistic because there are NO checkpoints whatsoever between sections of each world. If the level design wasn't so heavily based on trial and error and the concept of seeing just a bit more of what's ahead after every death, this wouldn't have been so bad. Having to go through a five to ten minute board swarming with enemies, death traps that require pixel perfect precision to get through and THEN fight a boss all on one life (maximum of three hits if you're lucky and can keep your armor) is ridiculous. Even some of the games Volgarr is trying to emulate were more reasonable- there would either be a checkpoint midway through the stage or one relatively close to the boss should you die fighting it. It's like the developers wanted to set out and make a challenging game, but didn't really study what the classics did well (and tweak what didn't). The end result is a game that just feels like a cheap cash-in on the nostalgia craze. In 2018, there are just so many better choices for around the same price range if you want a challenging retro-inspired romp. I'd advise checking out Cursed Castilla in particular if you're looking for something along the lines of Ghouls n Ghosts, as there's a hell of a lot more production value for around the same price, and it injects some modern sensibilities into its source materials' formula while still being super difficult.

I’ll give credit where credit is due- Celeste has a wonderful message behind it and the way it presents it is nothing short of memorable. The added features to decrease the difficulty are also a nice touch, especially since we are living in the “git gud” generation and the dev was under no obligation to help make this hellish sub genre a little more beginner friendly. Beyond this, however, Celeste is essentially just another difficulty fetish platformer in a market swamped in them. If you’ve played Super Meat Boy and its thousands of clones, you’ve kind of already played Celeste. Having not touched one since Meat Boy first came out, I wasn’t as burnt out on the genre and seeing it through to the end was worth it. For most, however, it’s just not something I can easily recommend at the $20 price tag. It’s a solid game, but by no means the 9 or 10 critics are giving it.

This game excels in presentation. Like Cave Story, it’s amazing just how much effort was put into the sprite work and the universe these characters live in and that “wow” factor is compounded by the fact that only one person worked on it. The boss battles and instances where Iconoclasts is an action platformer are also major highlights. That said. I feel as if the game is falsely advertised to an extent. As other reviewers have noted, this feels more like an open world epic although it’s listed as a platformer or metroidvania. It does have some of those elements, but the plot is incredibly thick compared to something like the Metroid or Shantae series. If you were looking for something along these lines or a truly old school experience, you may be disappointed by the amount of plot and oftentimes lengthy character monologues. I’m willing to sit through these for the most **** some really do drag. If you like this kind of thing, you’ll probably enjoy it. I can’t say I did. Also, not every one of the dozens of boss encounters that are used as a selling point are winners. While there are plenty that are creative and enjoyable firefights, there are some that give next to no indication of what exactly you’re supposed to be doing. They’ll take a death or two before you even have a clue as to how to damage them, which does become annoying. Even in Cuphead, a game that also has emphasis on bosses and the “repeated failure leads to success” approach (albeit to a greater extent)...knowing what you needed to do to take down the boss was almost never an issue...solely a matter of doing it. Expect to spend about 10-15 hours on the campaign. I’m currently about 12 hours in and am nearing what I suspect to be the end of the game. Even with it being quite different in gameplay than what I expected, iconoclasts has more positives than negatives. Again, if you’re expecting an old school like experience because of the presentation and how it’s listed in **** should probably stick to some of last year’s heavy hitters (sonic mania, Cuphead, a Hat in time, wonder boy) for now and wait for a sale.