User Reviews

Una película con grandes actores, pero un guion un poco flojo, no deja que las estrellas grandes que tiene, se luzcan

If you have a healthy sense of humor and don't mind extreme violence and gore, this movie, like the original machete, will no doubt give you a wonderful experience filled with laughter and fun. Personally, Miss Antonio (Amber Heard) is my favorite character cause of how badass and funny and classy she is. My only drawbacks in the movie include is poor portrayal of women in it and its totally unnecessary inclusion of so many stars in it, especially problematic ones like Mel Gibson and Elon Musk. Regardless, I'd strongly recommend the movie to almost anyone.

Primeira indicação ao framboesa de ouro a lady Praga foi indicada, devia ter ganhado

oidia boi a avlar de **** kills porque aparese mi enemiga leidi gagá ni un brilla y brillo ni con brillatina brilla esta mierdaza si la descargas por torrenta empieza weler a mierda tu computadora porque tanta mierda tu computadora no soporta waawa ni un brillo lady mierda

Let me start off by saying love love love the first Machete. I can watch it anytime... This one, not so much. Robert Rodriquez swung for the fences with this one and it missed. Some people will never ever say anything bad about the guy and some will genuinely like it, but to be honest.. it just didn't have that X factor the first Machete did. This time around Machete is more like a super hero. He is sent on a mission to Mexico by the President (excellent choice of casting Charlie Sheen, using his birth name of Carlos Esteves). But other than that, (and of course Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriquez), the rest of the cast just didn't fit. The schizo Mexican revolutionary didn't fit, Cuba was completely out of place, wasn't really feeling Lady Gaga or Amber Heard (even though she is gorgeous) and the gorgeous Sophia Vegara was just a little too manic. But it really wasn't that.. the film just was kind of flat, even the action scenes weren't clicking. Maybe because they gave away too much in the previews. Maybe its because they made Machete inhuman.. All I know is that when I was in the theatre, 3 people around me fell asleep and 4 people walked out a hour after the film started... AND it wasn't that many people in the theatre. Gosh I wanted it to be so much better.. This is a rental, at best.

Isador Cortez, a.k.a. Machete, always had Danny Trejo’s face since his first cameo in Robert Rodriguez’s "Spy Kids" (2001), and has always been portrayed as an over-the-top caricature of the infallible action hero. His first sporadic appearances in different films were intended as Easter eggs and nod to the fans: the best known reference of all is the fake trailer included in "Grindhouse" (2007), by Tarantino and Rodriguez himself. It took Quentin’s genius (but most of all his reputation) to raise the funds for a project that had been their forbidden desire for a long time: a so called “b-movie”, a low-budget exploitation film as in fashion in the ‘70s. Rodriguez jumped at the chance to give depth and notoriety to Machete, laying the foundations for what would later become the 2010 feature “Machete”, a critical, public and box office success. Former Mexican Federal Machete is a living legend, a die-hard incorruptible law man, whose face is scarred by violence and whose soul is scarred by death and suffering. Armed with his inseparable and lethal machete, he is the perfect war machine that every villain fears but invariably tries (and fails) to kill. This time, his nemesis is Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), orchestrating an intricate plan to threaten humanity. Machete, personally hired by the funkiest President of the United States ever (a brilliant Carlos Estevez, a.k.a. Charlie Sheen, typecasted straight from his previous roles in the “Scary Movie” saga), must travel across Central America to save the day. Alongside him, a number of disreputable characters follow one another while the plot unfolds. Enter hot secret agent Miss San Antonio, Vanessa Hudgens playing the prostitute, Mendez the Madman and his split personality, his bodyguard, corrupt Sheriff Doakes, Shè coming back with a bunch of guys from the previous film - and then this hitman, el Camaleòn, who is actually four different people! Seriously? That’s way too many characters for me to care about, especially given the standard of the film, in which everything is a farce built for Machete to destroy - while possibly maiming some limbs. Away from the dusty and western-like setting of the first chapter, Rodriguez shapes "Machete Kills" in a way that reminds me a bit of James Bond, and too much of "Expendables". Rather unfortunate, for a film that tries hard to be cool, but ends up looking like any other average action feature. It is this strange ambivalence that makes "Machete Kills" hard to appreciate fully: a few scenes are memorable, and some are pure works of genius, but the uniqueness of a character like Machete is game-changing, and it soon becomes clear that he doesn’t fit the genre’s standards. His invincibile and illogic nature is the elephant in the room that makes everything else pointless. “Machete Kills” attracts its audience with promises of absurdities, silliness, and gratuitous gore; all this aside, it feels just like a 2-hour long cartoon, or an ice cream with a dozen scoops. After a while, you just get tired. That’s not to say that the film isn’t worth the ticket price: when written wisely, its episodic gags make the whole cinema laugh out loud, and the fake trailer for "Machete Kills Again... In Space" is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in the last ten years. This is why Machete remains one of the cult icons of modern cinema, and just as I am ready to point out all the film’s weaknesses, I’m also impatiently waiting for the next sequel.

Although certainly entertaining Machete Kills is so ridiculous that it ends up not being a good movie. The deaths are fun the action is fun and luckily the film doesn't take itself seriously but simply not taking itself seriously doesn't make it good. Some of the characters are too irritating for too long and overshadow the action. But hey if you're looking to watch a film with a lot of cool gory deaths this movie is for you. If you're looking for anything else then not so much.

Robert Rodriguez's imagination and sense of humor is at full speed which is what holds Machete Kills back from being good. He's usually good at making B movies that poke fun at themselves but here B, stands for bad. Machete Kills is over the top goofy throughout. Even a kooky Mel Gibson with a Mad Max tribute scene can't save it.

Machete Kills has way too many characters I don't care how well known the actors are who play them. It doesn't take very long for the movie to get out of hand. I thought the first film was alright, but I'm certainly not interested in watching the next one. These films are only going to get more stupid as they go.

The whole Machete thing has always been a joke. When the fake trailer appeared in the Grindhouse, it was a funny one. Then it got out of hand. The first movie was pretty watchable, but the joke was starting to get overused, you can't make a good movie out of a single gag (or at least Rodriguez can't). This time, the sequel has come very close to the line that separates a crappy movie from a mediocre one. Utter senselessness, poor visual effects, cheesy acting and stupid forced dialogues just don't go unnoticed. Who pulls this from the depths of awfulness are Michelle Rodriguez (she's hot), Amber Heard (she's even hotter), Mel Gibson (it's a shame he's had a blow to his reputation, he's still same ol' awesome Mel) and Charlie Sheen (because any movie gets better with jokes about Charlie Sheen and hookers or drugs). So, Machete Kills is barely watchable and gets a very weak 4 out of 10, which is actually 3.5 rounded to 4, something like that. And considering the open nods to an even more ridiculous sequel set in space, things will get worse.

Barely any good movie . When I saw the trailer I thought that this movie would be an interesting action movie but when I watched it i realized that I was terribly . First of all lets see uhm oh yeah the budget is only 20 million U.S which is fairly cheap that especialy hurts on the gun animation which basically **** . And second off all oh lets see the story ****. its About a mexican of a U.S or where ever he's from who must stop a drug lord . but then it turns out he saves him . so theres another character which is lady gaga or akon or whatever and she/he kills every one she meets . I didn't even finish watching before I had to throw up . so yeah

I'm unimpressed with a crazed killer flying around the world aimlessly. Sure, Danny Trejo embodies an exciting Machete--but there's no point to it. It's campy where a film shouldn't be. Even Lady Gaga's cameo is useless.

I really should have seen the first Machete before I saw this, because after I watched all of this, I didn't want to watch any Robert Rodriguez movies at all (unless it was Sin City, Sin City is so badass).

i love the danny trejo as machete . this is better then the first one i love trejo's violence it is more epic and rockness and more thrilling i can wait for the thrid one

This is a good movie, the ending could have been better and the plot and story where all over the place but I still managed to enjoy the film, if you enjoyed the first one you will enjoy this

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

While I wasn’t a fan of the first film, I kinda get why it resonated with certain audience members. Dark comedies are fantastic (in my opinion) and Machete was just an unapologetic jumble of boobs, blood, guns and sheer ridiculousness. However, the sequel fails to recapture that formula and, ultimately, ended up feeling like a parody or like someone was making fun of Robert Rodriguez and the first movie. The jokes are terrible, the action is forgettable and the story is a sloppy excuse **** parody. While some of the characters might have been intriguing or even awesome, Rodriguez wastes them and treats them like they are nothing more than filler to make the film get to a feature length. The only saving grace is that Mel Gibson is incredible as the film’s bad guy. Other than that, the film was just a sequel that didn’t need to be made…but that’s not shocking when you take into consideration that the film is a sequel to a movie that was created from a fake trailer.

While there are a myriad of characters, explosions, celebrity cameos and violence this film is far too simple and dumb to be that interesting. Only the promise of a sequel set in space makes this worth a watch and even then as it seems less grindhouse and more spoof.

In my opinion this is a really unnecessary sequel with a huge cliffhanger to another unnecessary sequel. The first Machete had some noncence in it, but it actually had some story behind that. Machete Kills seems like nonsence for the sake of noncesnce and nothing more. There are some cool moments, but overall I didn't really like it.

Película desagradável muito abaixo da primeira, certamente um dos piores filmes de 2013, um descaso de genialidade da produção e do diretor, fraco, ruim e mal feito.

Not as good as the original, but worth seeing if you liked the first one. Notable for the jokes far more than the action sequences. Charlie Sheen is a hoot as the president.

While the first movie is an enjoying experience Machette Kills is just to much of all and feels like a parody and not like a hommage to the genre, like the first on was.

Ever start laughing because the movie is so bad, well Machete Kills is that. Everything about the movie deserves a F, including the effort to try and make something even remotely interesting. The movie is a pile of garbage that happens to be one of the worst movies in a very long time.

Let me start off by saying love love love the first Machete. I can watch it anytime... This one, not so much. Robert Rodriquez swung for the fences with this one and it missed. Some people will never ever say anything bad about the guy and some will genuinely like it, but to be honest.. it just didn't have that X factor the first Machete did. This time around Machete is more like a super hero. He is sent on a mission to Mexico by the President (excellent choice of casting Charlie Sheen, using his birth name of Carlos Esteves). But other than that, (and of course Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriquez), the rest of the cast just didn't fit. The schizo Mexican revolutionary didn't fit, Cuba was completely out of place, wasn't really feeling Lady Gaga or Amber Heard (even though she is gorgeous) and the gorgeous Sophia Vegara was just a little too manic. But it really wasn't that.. the film just was kind of flat, even the action scenes weren't clicking. Maybe because they gave away too much in the previews. Maybe its because they made Machete inhuman.. All I know is that when I was in the theater, 3 people around me fell asleep and 4 people walked out a hour after the film started... AND it wasn't that many people in the theater. Gosh I wanted it to be so much better.. This is a rental, at best

This sequel is so bad I questioned whether or not I even liked the first movie. I want to post spoilers to help you save money but I won't. Avoid this gigantic troll of a movie.

Cheesy visuals, dry humor, and predictable in every way describe this movie pretty well. Don't waste your time on this when there are much better comedies out there.

All of the ingredients of the original but somehow none of the result. An ill put together bore-fest you are better off re-watching the original which remains a classic.

How can this man stand in front of this great selection of superstars? I mean looking at his face makes me just think "where's my pimple pick? yack!" but in the next moment all these models come and the peak of stupidity I can only see watching Germany's Helge Schneider. It's a hard trial for my tolerance in irony, it's such a trash movie that I must look for the next hard drink to feel like a real MAN. Oh how ridiculous! Go away! Trejo! Does humour belong in sinkholes?

Bizzare settings and extreme violence, Machete Kills is good in it's all way. The movie may not be suitable for some viewers, though. Please think wisely before watching as it can be quite disturbing.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

I had a lot of fun seeing Machete Kills at the theater. The action is over-the-top and I thought Mel Gibson gave a memorable performance as the villain. If they ever make the next movie that they tease in the intro and outro, I'll be there.

"Machete Kills" is inferior to the first one, has no cohesive plot, and the best thing in this movie is Mel Gibson! But it works as it is, mediocre parody with some creative kills!

This movie is good solid fun. If it is given a bad review it is because the person reviewing it has no sense of humor. Slap stick much like Austin Powers, only much funnier. I laughed from the beginning to the end.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Danny Trejo is back as the grizzled tough guy, out to save the US from several crazed maniacs. Director Robert Rodriguez has returned to grindhouse territory with over-the-top violence, hot women and cheesy special effects. His script is too often talky and the dialogue isn't that clever. Some of the action is inventive, while a lot of it is just noisy. The star-chocked cast doesn't go far enough into camp (again, blame the writing). When this movie is good, it's loads of fun, but it's not as outrageous or inspired as the genre demands. NOTE: Stay thru the credits for 2 outtakes.

As a fan of the first Machete film I really liked this movie. Great escapism over the top fun as well as a good parody of the grind house type films I saw as a teen in the 70's at local theaters both drive-in and otherwise. My only complaint about this movie was the lack of gratuitous female nudity. Hopefully Mr. Rodriguez will make up for this in the next installment "Machete Kills Again... in space!" Looking forward to that one. Ignore the negative reviews! This is a fun, entertaining film; it doesn't take itself too seriously and nor should the viewer, Watch it and enjoy!

This was the worst movie I have ever seen in the theater in my entire life. And that is saying something. Whatever political or social themes this movie wanted to **** confused itself with the absurd to the point that there is nothing here to really watch. And I'm saying this as a fan of the first one which was a very sexy movie. The sequel is not sexy, has no nudity, and makes no sense. It tries (but fails) in any attempts at humor, has an uneven plot, and the action simply does not compare to the first one. Maybe some movies just shouldn't be done again. It seems like a third one might be in the works. They are milking this one dry, but when it all becomes about the money...quality is the true cost that is lost.

For a movie like this, it's all just based off of this joke. If you're into the joke, then you'll absolutely love this movie. But if you're not, then you'll completely hate "Machete Kills". Overall, while it's suppose to pull off this cheesy old look, it's still not that good of a movie. Be sure to check out my YouTube channel "TheMovieManLife" for all things movies.

The film is very steep, it is saturated with militants 80 years, clean trash, which of course, is not like a movie worth seeing everyone!Excellent continuation of the first film, all the critics are going to hell!

Machete suffers from too many co-stars and drags on and on. It also ends abruptly. There are a few things I would of done differently in the editing room too. Enough hate though, this movie does have some good qualities. One of them is Charlie Sheen (Estevez!) as the president of the free world. Of course Machete is the front man for this ensemble of characters that keeps the movie flying along at a roadrunners pace. I liked the first one a lot!!!! This one was entertaining as grind-house cinema but not much more.

Guns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that guns do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blocked by another bullet, already lodged in his skull. Machete Kills continues director/co-writer Robert Rodriguez’s penchant for outrageous plot developments performed by “what-the?” casting choices. Mel Gibson plays a villain straight out of a Bond film Moonraker, to be precise. Charlie Sheen (listed in the credits by his birth name, Carlos Estevez) follows in his father’s footsteps as the U.S. President. And Lady Gaga is introduced as “whoever she wants to be.” Name your box-office poison. If Fatty Arbuckle were still around, he’d have a cameo for sure. Yet somehow, the results work. That’s probably because Rodriguez takes nothing seriously. The plot which could fit on the back of a cereal box, but only the really sugary kind involves a Mexican madman (Oscar nominee Demian Bichir) who wants the U.S. to clean up the corruption in his country, or he’ll fire a nuclear warhead at Washington. (Apparently he’s been reading Madman Tactics for Dummies.) President Sheen, or Estevez, or whatever, calls on Machete to help. “You know Mexico,” he tells the taciturn strongman. “Hell, you are Mexico.” Helping him will be a government agent played by Amber Heard. Her cover identity is beauty pageant winner Miss San Antonio, but has the operative gone too deep into character? In one scene she texts Machete: CU There! More about the story I cannot reveal. It’s not that I’m against spoilers; I just wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time, although whatever it is, it’s as funny as a roadrunner cartoon and only about 2.5 times as violent. Machete faces off against La Camaleón, a shape-shifting assassin played by a bewildering array of actors (Cuba Gaga Banderas Jr., etc). He crosses paths with Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), whose 32F brassieres pack a 38-calibre punch. (You’ll never guess where she keeps her backup firepower.) He hooks up with former partner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who sports a sexy eye patch and has a feminist revolutionary poster on her wall that reads Shé. And he makes use of a road-tunnel under the U.S.-Mexican border, stolen directly from 2009’s Fast & Furious. The movie runs for 107 minutes but features a ticking-clock timeline that allows it to pack more into 24 hours than, well, 24. And it opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space! At least, I think it’s a fake trailer. You may recall that the first Machete sprang from just such a bogus teaser, attached to 2007’s Grindhouse. So while Machete likes to say “Machete don’t” lines Machete don’t smoke, tweet, joke, etc. the one thing Machete seems destined to do is return.

What an amazing movie. It's so freaking ridiculous, even more so than the original in all the right ways. The action is great, bloody and creative. The plot is so bonkers and unpredictable you'll always be wondering what will happen next, the casting is excellent and many of the many many maaaaaany characters are likeable and they have some epic lines. Machete Kills is the most fun I've had at the cinemas since Pacific Rim. If you and your friends want to have a good, absurd time, then this is the movie for you.