someone132

The main problem with Valerian is that it's less of a sci-fi movie than it is a really dumb romantic comedy that just happens to have aliens and technology letting you exist and travel through several dimensions at once (used for an action scene early on, then NEVER becomes relevant later on, when it would've solved A LOT of problems.) Moreover, it's a romantic comedy whose lead characters are openly callous (ignoring allies getting killed as a direct result of their action in favour of more "flirty" chitchat) and are so unlikeable you totally do not care whether or not they get together. Yet, this is all the plot is interested in: most of their shared dialogue is creepy "flirting", and very little screentime is devoted to addressing their supposed mission as opposed to them having to rescue each other from completely irrelevant doldrums that only exist to cram in more action scenes and give other characters a chance to pontificate on their supposed love and how they should be together. It's sickening, especially when practically all those side characters are a lot more interesting than these leads (with the exception of THREE Jar Jar clones that crop up way too often, especially for a film made a whole decade after Star Wars prequels concluced.) I suppose all of these flaws were probably present in the source material (1960's French comic book just called "Valerian and Laureline"), but that doesn't make it look any better on screen. The "main plot" to do with their missions, or what there is of one, is also not great to say the least: it's something like a cross between Avatar and that Star Trek movie about whales, with a very pointedly "noble savage"-like race (though again, that might have looked fresh and topical when it came out and hippies were all the rage), and what now seems like parallels refugee crisis, but at the time was probably intended to mirror Algerian and Indochina wars France went through at the time, and likely nuclear testing as well. While it would've probably still looked silly, it might've been compelling if more screentime was devoted to developing these ideas, as opposed to all the reasoning being dumped in the 10 minutes close at the end.

Atomic Blonde is stylish and very well-shot, but gets increasingly dumb as it keeps on going. Same is true of many action films, of course: the problem here is that it's more of a spy drama, and latter half simply doesn't have enough action to distract you from how transparent and perfunctory the plot beats become. As it is, the film has several cool action scenes at first, but literally peaks midway through, at a 10-minute long fight scene inside an empty apartment block, which is torturous in a good way: neither Theron's character nor her assailants have the weapons to end it quickly, and so they end up wearing each other down with bloody,yet inconclusive wounds. At certain points, they are both forced to stop and catch their breath for a while, before slowly continuing to fight. It's a little reminiscent of the final showdown in The Revenant, now that I think about it. Afterwards, though, there's literally nothing special. Most characters either predictably die or end up irrelevant, someone suspected of being a traitor an hour ago lives up to it, and the final twist exposes a myriad of plotholes, and makes the behaviour of several characters largely inexplicable. There's not much thematic weight either: lesbian romantic line is just there, and while you are regularly reminded of Berlin Wall's impending fall through the incessant TV broadcasts, the main plotline and characters are completely independent of it, with not much actual reflection, or accompanying existential dread on GDR side.

Unfortunately for all of us, Star Wars has always been a franchise with more promise (enormous galaxy with ridiculous amount of races and cultures, a central concept tying it together) than the actual ability to execute it. The prequels are rightly maligned for their utter mismanaging of the series' tone in their attempts to be "child-friendly", as well as poor performances, often horrific dialogue and the way literally every single "exciting" action scene in them was utterly fake, which had less to do with the weak CGI then the utter ridiculousness of every action on screen (Coruscant chase in Attack of the Clones being the primary example). However, many of the same problems were also present in Revenge of the Sith, a fact remembered less often than it deserves. Sure, Vader's ultimate redemption was a great twist: sadly, everything else was simply ridiculous, and you can't escape the feeling Rebellion triumph is owed entirely to their enemies' incompetence. Ewoks are the ultimate incarnation of this, but even before that, the ease with which Stormtroopers get tricked into being captured, or indeed, their pathetic willingness to give Solo & others a chance to surrender when they are HOURS away from winning it all, is no better. Why did I just give you all of this history? It's simple: Force Awakens might now be often called a remake of New Hope, but that description is far too kind. In practice, it's far closer to a remake of Revenge of the Sith, and shares the exact same problems, coupled with weaker new cast. Finn doesn't even have his own name at first, and was trained up to be a Stormtrooper from birth. Yet, he goes from being shocked at the death of a fellow stormtrooper, to helping Poe Dameron, WHO KILLED THAT VERY SAME STORMTROOPER, escape, killing more Stormtroopers in process. Afterwards, this upbringing of his is utterly irrelevant: he never questions others' methods, and gleefully partakes in killing of those who were like him until very recently. The only catalyst for this was seeing some civilians he knew before get executed. He never thinks back on this, though, and nor does anyone care, when halfway through the film, Death Star MK III (sorry, Starkiller Base), is activated, and kills literally billions of people; everyone forgets it soon after. By the end of the film, the death toll is in the billions on one side, and millions for the other; yet the conclusion is still "cheerful" in a way that's utterly infuriating. In New Hope, you genuinely felt like a massive threat to Rebellion was averted at the end, and they received a lease of life. Here, though, we know this happened twice before, and there's no one to say another Death Star won't be built again, because apparently no-one learnt anything since then. It feels pointless, much like the entire movie.

This movie might not be a masterpiece per se, but personally I loved it. It is a slow-burner, and a lot of the dialogues don't make much sense initially. In fact, I would say the movie only really begins to hit its stride once it passes the 40-minute mark. From then on, however, it all begins to make sense, and the director's intent becomes clear. The final conversation of the film is truly electrifying, and the ending fits the film perfectly. Much like Inception, it really is one of those films you should watch several times to trace the complexity of events on the screen, and appreciate how every detail fits into the message of the film, with nothing being wasted. The dialogue in the film is also very diverse and memorable, with each person saying something different, all meaningful in their own ways. If you're tired of generic, cliched character archetypes, this should the film for you.