kludge

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. augh uh agg arg augh gah guhAugag AUAUAUGH.... Augh ghu aaaaaaaaaaaa! UGH AUHG AHUAG!!! a u au aua uaua u a u aua ua u au au... auaAAAAgh? anyways, remember the Alamo. Goodbye everyone and see you guys later (check under your bridge) (everyone has a bridge) (please let me under your bridge) (a poor troll like me cant afford a bridge in this economy) (hate to get political) (the sky is falling) (just like this game) (holy Jesus this game is so masculine and hormonal and primal and my testosterone is spiking right now) (can I have a warm glass of milk your bridge is hard to sleep under) (subscribe to my YouTube and twitter and uhhh auaGUAGAUAUGAUHHuGUGAUGAUGGAUGAUA) (the chicken is so cool and little) (petite) (I am just so jazzed to watch the movie that the tickets are for) (can Mario come with tickets?!?!?! no!) (ah) (okay adios amigos)

when my mother was pregnant, she wanted to get rid of fetus me (i was a bad fetus) so she bought a copy of barrel blast, hoping it had similar effect to smoking 6 packs a day. but with that first swing of her arm, she was invested. no sleep, no eating, she just sat there peeing herself playing donkey kong. she wanted me to join in on the fun, so she swallowed a wii remote whole. we played for hours. then, eventually i was born, and she named me after the best character. she died due to pregnancy complications or plastic ingestion or cancer or something. 100/10 changed my whole damn life... and if there is any kalypsos who want a kludge like me hmu

Truly an underrated **** fact, I used my immense fame and **** to get in contact with the developers of funky barn, and they forgot they made this absolute treasure because if they remembered they made this, they would live life with the haunting realization that they physically cannot improve from this. this barn is hella funky fam. i actually went to the funky barn and they all started lathering me in butter and sugar and let the funky rats go to town. 10/10 would funk at the barn

this game cursed me. I stumbled upon this game at a garage sale, where a crusty toed white woman named debora walked up to me and said "do not buy this **** game whatever you do". I bought it for 5$. immediately after popping this cursed object into my ds, everything went downhill. I lost my job at the new Mexican **** house. I lost my wife of 10 days, both my children moved to Venezuela to sell kale at suspiciously high prices. even my favorite hair fell out. I got drafted into the war. and there I lost my finger and accessory spleen. all of my money got stolen by a estonian rum brewer who wears denim lederhosens. i was forced to live on the street, where I melted into the pavement. after becoming concrete, I went into elvis's butthole sealing it (I'm sure nothing bad happened due to that). I then became part of the Berlin wall where I stayed forever because nothing could ever happen to the Berlin wall. I am sending this review from the year of 1988. God bless me and my family. stay safe.

I met the Robinsons once. they were all drug addicts, gang members, criminals, you name it. they tied me to a chair and forced a solid steel bar down my throat so I was forced to look directly up, where they shined a light in my eyes. play Paddington run instead

I love booging so much I boog all over the place I boog my wife, I boog my kids, I evened booged the mail man once. If I could boog until the inevitable boogenation of the boogiverse, I would. boogkind worships my booging skills and offer my the finest of boog berries. boog bless.

when I was but a boy, I always aspired to be a chocolate flavoured kidney stone just like the red m&m. back then he was so young, and full of energy. he always had a cheerful smile and such a way with words. that would all change, of course, with the rise of Skittles. a bland colored kidney stone is nothing compared to a neon-drug trip kidney stone. he was always the delicate type, and I just guess he couldnt keep up with the **** the yellow m&m would always try to help him through this trying time. Unfortunately, he was a gay stripper pedophile who would frequently use the "n word". the orange m&m was the company's only hope. but unfortunately he to was canceled for being a racist **** who said "there is a reason we come in different bags" directly to the blue m&Ms son. so the blue m&m, the orange m&m's daughter, and the blue m&m's son traveled across the Atlantic to form the clan of "smarties". september 11th, 2001: m/11 happened, argueable the most tragic 11 related accident to occur on that date. the M&Ms started the chococaust against the smarties which involved starvation, torture and horrors worse than any living being (no matter how liminal) can comprehend. but then one day, the m&Ms were all brought together for 1 more time. As the m&Ms sat infront of each other, the room fell into a sort of silence that spoke louder than any words could. they all fell into tears as they embraced each other tightly, apologizing to eachother. The reason they were brought together in question: this very game. unfortunately this game **** 0/10

before playing this godsent ****, I was the size of a small planet. (you may have seen me in the sky.) but after I stumbled upon this golden gem of a program, I instantly lost magnitudes of weight. as I lost mass, Earth's gravity pulled me into earth. this may have meant instant death, but for me the baggy skin caused by weight loss acted as a wingsuit so I could glide down to god's green marble, now clocking in and a healthy 2 ounces.

This hellish demon the unaware fools call "the burger king" is not a king of beef patties but rather the king of hell itself. His grotesque porcelain empty holes of eyes stare right down to the very depths of your soul. that sick sinister smile could make a drill Sargent pass out on the spot. this foul beast of a mascot sneaks around like the little hellspawn he is, clearly because he is aware what a chilling sight his demonic form is. If this creature of the underworld is behind the burgers, it is no surprise why I prefer mcdonalds. I hope the worst, Mr burger king

Shaq Fu makes my **** itch in the best way possible. my balls empty immediately at the sight of shaqs sexy moves

EVERY TRUE AMERICAN MUST PLAY THIS COMPUTAMAJIG OR ELSE YOU SUPPORT THE FILTHY BRITS GOD BLESS

I want to burn that devolved poop thrower on a stake and hear his blood curdling hair raising shrieks of pain

Heathcliff is peak fiction and no amount of convincing will tell me otherwise. you could torture me for all of eternity and I couldn't think of on reason to not play this game 24/7 forget life, play heathcliff

this stupid little abhorrent masses of grains boil my blood. if you play this game you will wish Satan subjected you to eternal back breaking labour just to have an excuse not to play this. **** Chex and your bland ass cereal

whenever gman shows up on screen I am instantly blown away by how hot he is and immediately start having a seizure out of the immense jealousy for his perfect everything. marry me gman I'll rise and shine for you every day

this game is the epitome of gaming. If God himself were to make a game it would pail in comparison to this technological masterpiece. playing this game is like bathing in holy water on top of the sacred temples while holy light shines upon you. if you ever have time to spare it would be within your best interests to play this game. the graphics, the music, everything is almost to perfect for this world. no one is worthy to experience this, but yet we could not as a society live without it

pepsiman is quite possibly, one of the best characters in media history. his tragic backstory makes me cry everytime I play. his design is beautiful and his sarenating voice helps me fall asleep. my only complaint is that he can die in this game which makes me overdose on fent out of depression.

this game gives me a penile erection. 10/10 amazing gameplay would play again