dimweat

One of the best indie games on the market. You can tell the guys didnt have the bloated budget or technology of a mainstream title, but they did a great job compensating for it

I've played every Zelda game since 1987, so I was pretty pumped for Skyward Sword. The first warning sign was when the game required WiiMotionPlus to function. With the imminent release of the Wii U, and no other major first party games to be released on the Wii, Im left believing that the sole purpose for this is to add a secret $40 to the price tag. It certainty didn't add to any game play. Many times during the game, it demanded a vertical swing. Simple enough, right? swing the remote in a verticle slice. WRONG! THAT WASNT FLAT, THERE WAS A SLIGHT ANGLE! TRY AGAIN!....after 30 more attempts, finally Link decides to throw me a bone and hit the target. 30 hours in, I still had to pray my wrist wouldn't snap in half from trying to direct the Possibly Polio-ridden Link to dive, or throw a bomb: both actions that we're perfect 20 years ago by the innovation of an 'A' button. If you can get past the needless, frustrating and sadistic controls, then you'll find creative dungeons, compelling-ish story (Still dont really know the justification for the first half of the game) and some good adventuring. Im just skeptical of any game where the boss can be defeated (not joking here) by flailing my limbs around for 2 minutes

Its a Mario game. You've been playing them for 25 years. The only real difference with Super Mario 3D land is you get more head-aches playing, less of a sense of **** you can throw a boomerang, which Nintendo has made as redundant as a weaponized boomerang would be in real life. After a fair bit of thought, I really don't understand what market Nintendo was aiming for. The game is simple and unchallanging, great characters **** targeting the casual gamer **** the game is coated in heavy-handed Mario nostalgia and subtle references that would only appeal to long-time fans of the Mario franchise....

I think Sonic Team has just thrown in the towel at this point. They've turned Sonic into the prince of persia (Secret Rings), a werewolf (Unleashed) and a Pokemon Trainer (Colours). Now he's a knight, although a schizophrenic knight with Multiple Sclerosis. Awful controls, awful camera control, awful gameplay, the most nonsensical half-assed plot since the NES days and a boss fight that is literally two quick-time events.. To be fair, sonic team did include a large amount of extras as an apology for the laughably short campaign, but with no real desire or motivation to do so, I doubt anyone will bother to get 5-stars in the tedious 'tilt forward and waggle the remote till your arm is numb' level design

As a fan of the franchise, I really tried hard to like this. It had some nifty new ideas and it worked in a lot of the lore and mythos. But it failed miserably, both as a game and as an installment in the HP franchise. A terrible control scheme, game mechanics and for some reason Hermione is voiced by a woman who would sound more at home telling me iv dialed an incorrect number and to please hang up and try again. The character animations are laughably bad. 90% of the characters seem more interested in the space 4-5 inches above Harrys head when conversing with him and at several points, the characters mouth would merge into a giant row of teeth. I tried, I honestly did, but if i have to hear that awful voice actor cry out 'THEY'RE AFTER US" or "STUPEFY" one more time, I'll bloody go crucio myself to feel less pain

Fragile Dreams is possibly the first game to make me cry. I may have had to punch a wall afterwards to prove my masculinity (Thank you, Y-chromosome), but during the 10-15 hours of gameplay I threw my manliness to the wind and bawled like a champ. Forgoing the usual giant mecha-robots seen in Japanese games, Fragile Dreams is a beautiful and sad exploration in to what it means to be human. With subject matter ranging from isolation, desperation, insanity, sexuality and our innate need for companionship, FD's tragic beauty is apparent in every facet of its presentation. The long, echoing, deserted landscapes create a unique feeling not often seen in games. The story and its characters surprisingly come off as relatable and real for the most part. While the main character (Seto) cries in every other cutscene, the needy bugger really does endear himself. With the death of his possibly pedophilic grandfather, Seto ventures into the ruins of humanity to search for another living soul. Setos upbringing (living in a single room with an old man for 15 years) does make for an interesting character development. Having never seen another human being, or anything outside his house Setos ignorance to what 'electricity' is really does make him feel like a real person. The ending falls prey to the over dramatics seen in most Japanese media with a dramatic "YOU CAN'T DEFEAT THE POWER OF HEART/FRIENDSHIP/LOVE/TEAMWORK/CAPTAIN PLANET" speech, but for the most part stays true to its humble story of a loneliness. The gamplay ****. The wii suffers from the lack of a second joystick to control the camera as usual. In combat, you're better off praying to your deity of choice that your attack will hit then relying on being able to see depth. The combat itself is simple, fitting the game. Here's a stick, go whack things with it. Later in the game, you get bigger sticks or oddly shaped sticks, but you're just going to be whacking things the same way. My main issue is with the menu interface. Going for a diablo-esq inventory screen, you have to play a frustrating home-made tetris game to fit your candies and sticks in your pack until you can return to a savepoint/bonfire to store things. And when you do, you have to wait for Seto to repeat the same f*n line about wanting to sleep and tell a chicken-headed merchant to piss off before you can move your stick. Another example is with the map. Rather than a traditional map, the player is shown a map drawn BY Seto. While charming and cute, when trying to figure out which long hallway to run down, seeing Setos drawings of cats (..yea, i don't get why either) doesn't help. But that's what kind of game this is. Tri-Crescendo were clearly aiming for style over substance and FD has more style then the winner of the Pimp King title at the international sex-workers convention. With one of the most novel aesthetics and story, you can easily forgive the shoddy interface and combat. Just don't be expecting balls-to-the-wall **** replay **** an absence of ****-erotica... Now, I'm going back to punch that wall.