TheLonelyCritic

Insert Bear pun. What's that? That joke was soulless, repeated before and unfunny? WELL IT'S STILL BETTER THAN THIS PIECE OF **** MOVIE! THE CHARACTERS, HUMOUR AND STORY ARE ALL ****! AND IF I MEET THE ****** WHO DIRECTED THIS, I'LL **** ****** **** HIS ***** UNTIL IT TURNS GREEN!...........(deep **** yeah, I didn't like it.

As a kid most books, I read were a bore. But Schulz's and Seuss' I used to adore. They were clever, delightful, and ever so witty. And Seuss' cool rhymes, made for a nice ditty. My favourite of Suess' no doubt about that. It was the timeless tale, of the Cat in the Hat. Then the movie came out, when I was just eight. I was so excited, I just couldn't wait. My parents let me see it, I was ever so glad. Little did I know, it would be so bad. The film ignored Seuss completely, and "modernised" the tale. Every new addition, was an utter fail. They pandered to kids, I noticed even back then. And the jokes were outdated, even in that Gen. I walked out disappointed, a frown on my face, I thought compared to the book, the movie was a disgrace. Do not rent or borrow, and definitely don't buy. I hope this review, has informed you why.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Well, this is it. Adam Sandler has reached a new low. Again. I don't know how, but his movies just get worse and worse with each one. Maybe it's because Sandler's humour hasn't changed in decades. I cannot stand his performance as Jack or Jill. And considering they're where 95% of the humour comes from, that's a sign that you messed up. I don't have a problem with one person playing two characters as it shows their diversity and acting skill. However, the characters need to look, sound and be different enough. Adam Sandler however, could not change his character personalities if his acting career depended on it, which it does.

****'s better than the first one? Kinda? Maybe? In the same way that getting a microwave thrown at your face is better than having one thrown at your....well you get the point. But yeah, crappy effects, snore-inducing story and humour of levels so immature that even Adam Sandler wants some advice. Baby Geniuses 2 is disgusting cute-sploitation and nothing more.

Miyazaki's animation style has lent itself well to his works. It lets him take the average environment and make it incredible, and nowhere is this clearer than The Wind Rises. The animation and design is simply divine, easily some of his best work. Add that to a clever story idea, brilliant characters and some touching scenes, and you have an incredible movie. I've heard that this may be Miyazaki's last film. If so, this is a worthy swansong. Just amazing.

It's just trying to be a movie for kids huh? And because kids can watch it, we shouldn't complain huh? Ok, let's say I made a movie that was just 90 minutes of footage looking at a wall. It might be terrible, but you can't complain because it was meant to be about a wall. The logic of these users baffles me. Now where was I? Ah yes, this movie is awful.

Ooooooh......this movie. There's a special place in hell for this movie. Never has a movie been so insultingly bad in my life. Terrible performances, blatantly clichéd story and family-friendly humour playing it so safe that even Ned Flanders is telling it to lighten up. I don't care particularly for Dwayne himself, but he seems like a nice enough guy and a good action star. THIS however is the complete WRONG way to use him.

Have you ever heard a "Back in my day..." joke? Like, literally any? If yes, this movie is one long one of those. And boy, does it get old fast. And if I hear one more person telling me to give it a free pass just cause it's only for kids...

The Naughties? SERIOUSLY!? Look, you may have a young target audience, but even my 6 year old cousin found that name unoriginal! Trust me though, that's not all. I do give credit to the movie that it's at least trying something newer than the first movie, but the jokes and scenes are so forced and clichéd. The only enjoyment from this movie is Hank Azaria as Gargamel. It's a fitting casting choice and he is quite good in this. Everything else about the movie will prompt smart people to stay the smurf away!

Oh no, who let Shyamalan out of his cage again? Why can't he get the message that his movies ****? Everyone's thinking it. And hey, how bout Will and Jaden? It's not like they're bad actors in general. I mean, The Pursuit of Happyness was actually a really good movie and they were great in that. Here, they're just so bland and boring. For Arceus' sake, Siri emotes more than these two do! A straight up 0 here to help smack this movie's rating back down where it belongs.

The fact that people in the user reviews are essentially giving it 'pity points' shows just what to expect from this movie. Adam Sandler's greatest low. I'm still gonna give it a 1 only because it can provide some fun if you write down every overused story element ever before watching and play 'Cliché Bingo". I got Bingo 4 times by the time I reached a third of the way in.

This movie really should've been dead on arrival, but to be honest....I was pleasantly surprised. Nice animation, a clever story, some interesting plot points and a unique idea, this movie is better than it had any right to be. It's not spectacular, but if it was on again, I'd re-watch it.

The fact that the positive reviews here spend more time shaming the critics than saying what's good about the movie shows what a great fan-base this movie has. But why don't they spend that time praising the movie's good points? BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANY!!! So what's wrong with this movie? Well Billy Ray Cyrus is in it.......I could end the review just with that. There are way more problems than that though. Bland and obvious story, jokes that could be seen from miles away and appealing to it's key demographic so desperately it makes the Oogieloves look subtle. If you value your brain cells, make like a spy and stealthily, quickly get the hell away from this movie!

The fact that this movie even exists makes me lose hope for humanity. The fact that it's even worse than the first is something I may never understand.

Painful comedy, annoying character stereotyping, intolerable songs and morals that feel like they're being shoved down your throat, Chipwrecked is unwatchable. I'm sure there's a more elaborate way of saying it, but I refuse to put in more effort than the writers did.

There are tons of bad movies out there, but this one is just flat-out insulting. Normally I'd bash the terrible comedy, bad camerawork and lame script (trust me, I still hate them.), but it's the message in this movie that makes me want to attack Mr Cameron with a sharpened candy cane. The fact that there's apparently a 'wrong way' to look at Christmas is just narrow-minded and borderline offensive. What if we don't want to treat Christmas like the greatest day ever? What if we don't want to ignore the bad parts? I always saw Christmas as a season of mixed feelings personally. A confusing time where we don't always know how to feel. The Charlie Brown Christmas Special absolutely nailed this message and that was made in 1965. A good 49 YEARS EARLIER! Y'know an article on Kirk Cameron's website said that Atheism is founded on fear and prejudice. After watching this, I believe I've found a greater source of fear and prejudice. Fear that rational minded people are finding entirely logical flaws in your holiday and using prejudice to force them to change their ways. Please Please PLEASE do not watch this movie!

Here's an easy way to tell if Baby Geniuses is for you. Question 1, do you enjoy intelligent and well thought out humour? If yes, get the hell outta here. Question 2, have you recently suffered severe brain injuries? Or are you 1 year old? If yes you may find some small, tiny, almost non-existent form of entertainment. However, if you possess enough mental capability to be trusted with scissors, this movie is as predictable and immature as it gets. Steer clear.