Sarah gets a DUI drinking cough syrup. When her sister picks her up at the police station, she meets cop Jay. They go on a date and Sarah has to watch Cookie Party alone. Is Brian bi?

Sarah takes in a homeless man whom she went to high school with; Brian repeatedly fails to defend Steve from attackers.

When Sarah enters a young girl also named Sarah into a pageant, they see how little they have in common and how very much they don't have in common. Steve is questioned by the cops for leaving a "bomb" in a cop car.

Brian tastes Tab and is carried away. Sarah meets Jay's lesbian cop partner and is carried away.

Sarah searches for AA batteries and then sings a song about what is wrong with the world.