The Muppets come up with various ways of performing for The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, but his ideas top them all. Sal Manilla has decided to become a bone doctor, leaving Johnny Fiama's pants unpressed.

The Muppets are relieved to find that Heather Locklear is not as mean as she appears on Melrose Place. But then she snacks from Bunsen Honeydew's experimental mood meals.

Pierce Brosnan feels he is neither as suave nor as debonair as the characters he plays on screen. But he gets to prove himself when the Crustacean Liberation Army takes the Muppet Studios hostage.

Clifford is trying to get Paula Abdul to kiss him. Gonzo performs with the Refined Young Cannonballs. Muppet Labs presents a Robot Abraham Lincoln, who promptly goes on a rampage.

Clifford feels inadequate when Dennis Quaid starts solving everyone's problems around the studio. Meanwhile, the winner of the "spend an evening with Kermit contest" turns out to be Gilbert Gottfried.

Carl the Big Mean Bunny has eaten the pre-recorded show, so Gonzo and Rizzo host a clip show instead. Statler and Waldorf simultaneously host "The Worst of Muppets Tonight", showing the exact same clips.

Clifford and Rizzo find a trunk in the basement, in which ventriloquist dummy Gary Cahuenga has been waiting to perform on the Ed Sullivan Show since 1956. Gonzo introduces various Lollapalosers (acts not good enough for Lollapalooza).

Dr. Bunsen Honneydew has a mid life crisis when Beaker goes on his first Star Trek celebrity cruise for his birthday. Andie MacDowell takes him for a wild ride.

Johnny Fiama's Mama gets upset when her son and his monkey double date Daryl and Page Hannah. Johnny decides to leave home and moves into the KMUP studios. Sal tries to get the Fiama's back together again.