The Dunphys get nostalgic when Phil has to get rid of their station wagon. Cameron begs Jay to intervene when Mitchell wants to build Lily a castle, and Manny invites a girl over to study.

Cameron is upset with Mitchell's lack of public affection, Gloria gets back at Jay for disrespecting her Colombian traditions, and Claire goes overboard as Alex tries to get her first kiss.

Mitchell and Claire agree to break some embarrassing news to each other's significant others, Jay makes a fool of himself at what he thinks is a quinceanera, and Haley helps Alex try to make a popular friend.

Phil, Claire, and the kids try to improve their communication skills by giving up their electronic devices. Gloria is getting obsessed over a neighbor's barking dog, and Mitchell and Cameron try to find a preschool for Lily.

Claire needs the family's help to run Halloween smoothly at their house. Jay and Manny have fun at Gloria's expense, and the holiday brings back painful memories for Cameron.

While Claire and Haley get sick at the same time, Phil wages battle against a chirping smoke detector. Manny accidentally gets one of Jay's employees fired, and Cameron wants to put Lily in a TV commercial.

A birthday dinner for Manny at a family restaurant turns into a race for Phil and Claire and a chance for Cameron to socialize at a shopping mall while looking for a gift.

Jay and Manny's online diagnosis of Jay's illness makes matters worse. A visit from Cameron's mother sends Mitchell into a frenzy. Phil is more upset about Haley's breakup with Dylan than she is.

Claire is threatened when Gloria becomes her co-chair for a school dance, Jay bullies Phil into taking a stand during a trip to the mall, and Mitchell and Cameron discover that their daughter is a biter.

Claire tries to stop a woman from speeding in the neighborhood, which creates a business conflict for Phil. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron befriend a strange new neighbor, and Gloria and Manny learn how to ride a bicycle.

Phil and Claire question their intelligence after a comment by Alex, Mitchell suspects that he fathered a child 8 years ago, and Gloria tells an embarrassing lie about Jay to cover up his rudeness to another couple.

Phil and Claire's kids walk in on them having sex while delivering their anniversary present, Gloria tries to keep Claire from seeing an angry e-mail, and Mitchell and Cameron contemplate how to cover up a juice stain on a rug.

Phil and Clair try to revisit an old Valentine's Day act, Jay tries to surprise Gloria with a romantic dinner, Mitchell and Cameron disagree over Mitchell's assistant's crush, and Manny gives Haley relationship advice.

Dede hooks up with Claire's high school boyfriend the night before Lily's birthday party. Meanwhile, Mitchell won't let Cameron play Fizbo the Clown at the party, while Gloria self-medicates to cope with Dede.

Gloria helps Phil figure out why Claire is mad at him, Mitchell forgets to send out invitations to Cameron's fundraiser, and Alex tries to prove that Haley is lying when she says she has a job as a waitress.

Phil spends the day at the spa while Claire tries to replace Haley's favorite sweater, Cameron discovers Mitchell's dirty secret about Lily's adoption, and Jay and Gloria argue over their final resting place.

Phil's new real estate ad creates embarrassment for Claire and Haley, Cameron goes over the top while directing a school musical, and Jay's brother comes to town with some surprising news.

Cameron is upset that Mitchell thinks he's the "Mom" of the family, Claire and Gloria take the kids on a disastrous hike, and Phil witnesses Jay tearing up while they prepare Mother's Day dinner.

Phil and Claire trade discipline roles for the day, Gloria forces Jay to listen to a horrible business proposal, and Mitchell tries to convince a sick Cameron to let him go to the Lady Gaga concert without him.

Haley tries to convince Alex not to deliver an angry graduation speech, Jay has a botched Botox procedure, and Cameron gets upset with Mitchell because he keeps laughing at his accidents.

Jay wants nothing more than to have a quiet birthday out fishing on the lake, but he is constantly pulled into everyone's drama as they frantically scramble to put his birthday party together.