It affects a frisky aura of gamesmanship with its tight-knit friends (played by Lucy Liu, Frances O'Connor, Miranda Otto and Bonnie Somerville) as they send their distress-text signals to each other, meet up, hash out their obstacles--cheaters, competitors, cads and the clock--and plan their counterattacks.

One reason it all works is the quality behind the concept.

Ignoring all that, shallow Mafia entertains in key moments.

Sadly, though, the cliches rack up even faster than the wardrobe changes.

The show feels recycled.

The stars, all of whom have done better work in better projects, give it their all, but the show is too snide, condescending and unpleasant to be salvageable.

It's pretty easy to qualify as worst series of the year when the year is less than a week old, but ABC's yucky Cashmere Mafia sets the limbo bar so low, only the slackest skeevy show could slither under it before the ball next drops Dec. 31.