The Blue Lagoon

One can only conclude that the filmmakers know as little of the facts of life as the children.

The Blue Lagoon is the dumbest movie of the year. It could conceivably have been made interesting, if any serious attempt had been made to explore what might really happen if two 7-year-old kids were shipwrecked on an island. But this isn't a realistic movie. It's a wildly idealized romance, in which the kids live in a hut that looks like a Club Med honeymoon cottage, while restless natives commit human sacrifice on the other side of the island.

The Blue Lagoon is a plump sitting duck, waiting to be roasted by sarcastic spectators. But director Randal Kleiser and his associates may enjoy the last laugh at the box office if this oblivious romantic idyll connects with susceptibilities as naive and dumb-founding as their own.

All we have to look forward to is: When are these two going to discover fornication? The director, Randal Kleiser, and his scenarist, Douglas Day Stewart, have made the two clean and innocent by emptying them of any dramatic interest. Watching them is about as exciting as looking into a fishbowl waiting for guppies to mate. It's Disney nature porn.

Filled with holes big enough to drive a train through and moments of suspense that prove false alarms, the story concerns two young people (Shields and Chris Atkins) who are shipwrecked on an island, develop a sexual relationship as they mature, and so forth. At a little over 100 minutes, the film feels as if huge chunks of it were edited out for pace; however, the wrong chunks have been cut.