moothemagiccow

This is for sure, a movie. It is not a funny movie, or an interesting movie. It's not a groundbreaking or life-changing movie. It is not exciting, heart-warming, or laugh-out-loud funny. It is a solid 5. It was and is a movie. If you ever wanted to watch a movie, Mickey 17 is one of them.

I love slow, dull spy movies but this one was SO. BORING. The central plot about finding a mole is your standard spy movie cliche, but it's meant to be modernized by a focus on computers and the romantic relationships of the spies. It doesn't make the movie any more interesting.

This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's a legal drama written by someone who doesn't know anything about crime, courts, or common sense.Normally, I'd say this is a movie for dumb people, but no one is this dumb. A man is on trial for allegedly following a pedestrian on the road, stopping, and throwing her off a bridge. The movie is set in the present, and everyone has cell phones. The man says he didn't do it, and the audience is shown that he is innocent. His lawyer, however, has to be the worst defense attorney ever, because he never uses evidence of the defendant's cell phone location to show that he was nowhere near the victim at the time of death. The story is riddled with silly plot holes like this - things you want to yell at the characters. One intensely dramatic 'aha' moment features a character being shocked to discover that a married couple might have different last names. Again, another detail that any adult and most children living in 2024 would have considered. The story is set in Georgia, which just comes off as an insult to the people of Georgia. I've never visited, but there's no way the people there are this stupid. It's a shame because the premise is fairly interesting - what if a person were on the jury for a crime they committed? Unfortunately, the writer started there and then made all the wrong choices about where the story should go. The movie becomes 'what if a person were accused of a crime and the all-time dumbest lawyers, judge, jury, and police were involved in his case? I'm hoping that the clearly talented cast chose the film based on the premise and never saw a script, because I guarantee they are all smarter than this movie.

If you can get past the first thirty minutes of this, which is just porn, it's a good movie after that. It's funny, the acting is good, the story is relatively realistic. But that first "act", P-U.

Short on story, jokes, and charm. We've come to expect something from the Paddington series, and this third installment is missing most of it. Neither the first or the second were perfect movies, but they were funny, charming, and had a unique spirit. Paddington in Peru is none of this, but some kind of weird love letter to old timey colonialism. The routine, by-the-numbers script wastes Olivia Colman and Antonio Banderas, both great dramatic and comedic actors.

The constituent parts work well - the animation, the music - but the story is lacking. It's disjointed, with no real follow-through from beginning to end. It feels more like 3 episodes of a TV show than three acts of a movie. It's somewhere between a drama and a comedy. You can tell when it's trying to be funny, but it doesn't often succeed. You will smile or chuckle, you won't laugh out loud. The drama is, well, predictable. You will not be surprised when your underdog wins the race. The tone is awkward. It attempts to have a 'serious' message while being an inherently goofy talking animal movie. There's a handful of brief, silent shots that say humans can't work together to save their own habitat, but an entire act showing that animals whose instinct is to eat each other will cast that aside and cooperate when they're under collective threat. The contrast is bewildering, unbelievable, and condescending. If the human audience is supposed to identify with the animals over the human characters, that's optimistic. The art is beautiful, the music is great, but the story is on par with your run-of-the-mill kids' movie, like a serious business version of Ron's Gone Wrong

I could probably make it through the disgusting parts of this movie if it wasn't so irredeemably dumb. Sure, I can suspend disbelief that some free serum clones your body ...from inside your body... splits your spine in half but you can just sew it up, and your body can survive on the immaculate, spotless floor for a week on some goo injections. (Kudos to whoever had to pick up every single black hair off that white floor, great job.) But you can't have that suspension of disbelief in the same story where a former film star de-ages 40 years and goes back to the same job she had at 60 doing aerobics videos, for the same company. I can buy a little dumb, but that's just too much.

I knew going in that this was going to be a stupid movie. Stupid movies can still be funny! This one, however, was not. Anyone reading this could write a better movie than this. It really quickly skims over the "dear god who would be crazy enough to pretend to be pregnant" problem. Even that would be fine, except it's not funny! A lot of good and funny actors are just wasted here. I feel bad for Will Forte, for Jillian Bell, for Lizze Broadway. Hell, I don't even like Alex Moffat and I feel bad for him. He was good as the meth guy on the Bear! He's wasted in this. I remember enjoying a lot of Trainwreck with Schumer and Bill hader and Colin Quinn. I thought I'd get more of the same here. No! Just bad!

A spy thriller from the MCU. Themes of abuse of power, incarceration, redemption, revenge. Thrilling action sequences with an intriguing mystery. Loved every minute.

You can tell what they tried to do here, and it just didn't work. They tried to make an R-rated, low-stakes, non-serious superhero movie and say the F word a few times, like Deadpool. Harley Quinn's not Deadpool. Why bother? They tried to keep it simple. Unfortunately, it's so simple you can spot the ending from a mile away. Is it fun? Eh, kinda. There are a lot of elaborate, visually interesting set-pieces, and not much tying them together. You watch Harley creatively take out nameless thugs who can't figure out how to point and shoot. I watched this movie in halves because I was falling asleep in the middle. I think the main problem is the characters. This version of Harley Quinn does not make for much of a main character. It doesn't help that the side characters are never really fleshed out. One lingers in the background, unnamed for almost all of the movie. The main villain is a real bad guy, but why does anyone tolerate his twisted torture? We know why we should hate him, but why is he in charge?

I liked this movie. It was fun to watch. It helps if you are perpetually online and don't like Fox News or NPR.

Amazing movie. Captivating. Loved the set design, the feel, the dialogue, the great sense of humor. Be sure to read a little about Charles Manson before you start.

It's weird that reviewers have co-opted the word "fun" to mean "stupid, bad, and predictable." At no point in the movie are you surprised by the plot. You are never wondering "what happens next." There is no tension, no drama. Everything goes exactly how you think it will. You are never laughing with it, only laughing at it. But it's not bad enough to be interesting, or real enough to be compelling. You catch on, about 20 minutes in, that Aquaman is 100% a cartoon. Everything has been illustrated - the underwater cities, the wet hair, the fish - from monster seahorses to prehistoric alligators - and the actors have just been partially inserted. So to go with this 99% CGI movie is a typical epic story for kids, with strangely adult violence. It's a standard hero's journey, find the artifact, fall in love with the princess, become the king story you've seen a hundred times. Then you stop wondering why Aquaman can lift a manned submarine from the depths to the surface without giving its crew the bends, because it's just a cartoon. Which would be fine, but the worst part about Aquaman is that it's boring. It's two and a half hours long and it's boring. We've seen the hero's journey before, but how is this one different? It's not. It's just underwater. Underwater wrestling match in a coliseum. Underwater politics. Oh god, why did they introduce so much dumb politics? Underwater journey to the different kingdoms, underwater monsters, underwater lasers, underwater princess. The enemies all look like Sentai villains from Power Rangers. One bad guy wants revenge for Aquaman killing his father, which was, frankly, a **** move on Aquaman's part. The main bad guy wants revenge on the surface world for pollution and climate change, which was not that strongly debated by Aquaman. Aquaman just doesn't like bad guy. They just fight because, well, it's an action movie. It boggles the mind, too, because this is just the Green Lantern movie all over again, except most people hated Green Lantern.

Just could not make it through this film. It's another laser light show to Top 10 hits of the 70s and 80s. Pratt's acting is cringeworthy, and I'm tired of hearing the big guy, Drax, belt out the same, forced HA HA HA over and over. I tried, I really did, but slogging through a generic science fantasy movie whose plot is "is this guy my dad?" just does not feel worth it.

I love a good drama, but this could have been condensed to about 40 minutes. Yeah, the subject matter is important, the character types are not common enough, but the story itself is a snoozefest.

This is an incredibly cheesy fantasy movie that gets a pass because it's from Marvel. The first scene had me laughing out loud at the wizards in bad costumes running through modern-day London. At least Harry Potter had the sense to tone down the pointy hats and robes. The costumes blend in during the temple scenes, but Strange's iconic outfit and hair still looks silly. The plotholes are really too many to count. You can turn back time to save X, but not Y. Strange is a novice getting lucky in a fight for ten minutes, while a pro is dead in seconds. Then said novice is fighting for the planet fifteen minutes later and doing exceptionally well. People walk on walls to attack him, well, just because they can, I suppose. Strange's friends show up to help in seconds... or sometimes they arrive after everything has gone wrong. The romance subplot is forced. His love interest starts out as someone for the doctor to talk to, and instead of being left behind as the story enters a fantasy realm, is the only on-call surgeon in all of New York City, which Strange conveniently finds himself returning to over and over. She's then relegated to gags where she's surprised at his superpowers. Cumberbatch's American accent is cringe-inducing. I see no reason why they couldn't just let the character be English. The sequel setups and hamfisted mentions of other Marvel movie characters will also make you wince. A plethora of CGI scenes seem more useful in describing an acid trip than serving any real use for the movie. They drag on just like the glut of fight scenes against faceless warriors with no lines and identical outfits. Even the main villain gets no more backstory than "disciple who lost his way." The monstrous force he's summoning? Well it likes eating planets, and hungers particularly for Earth. Why? Well that's not important right now. Maybe I'm being nostalgic, but even the 2007 animated movie handled the story better than this. The saddest part is the movie's attempts at humor. Sometimes it works - Strange's sight gag of lifting library books was a great scene - but most of the jokes seem like the work of a Disney Channel writers' room. When they get something that might be worth a chuckle, they run it straight into the ground. The movie wasn't great, but it had the occasional bright spot, and it wasn't boring enough to shut off.

the movie was a two hour chase sequence and it ended in the same place it began - with the thing you actually wanted to see. all it did was set up sequels, and hell, maybe prequels, too. it burnt down exposition because, well, the first star wars didn't have any, and everyone hated all the excess of boring political talk in the prequels. like iron man 2 or batman v superman, it served as a 2+ hour advertisement for future movies like Skywalker's Severed Hand: A Star Wars Story. despite being a sequel, i have no idea what the hell the first order or a kylo or a snoke or anyone is or why there are a trillion stormtroopers. why the hell did luke skywalker's absence lead to a reversal in power that allowed someone to build a friggin death star? the whole rebellion and its armies of soldiers just fell sideways because one guy left? in the last movie he wasn't in charge of squat. why would someone build a death star again? why doesn't anyone in star wars have email? everything is communicated by shipping droids across the galaxy.

This movie is incredibly hard to watch because the comedy troupe is incredibly annoying. They spend every minute together trying to be funny, on and off stage, and it just does not work. You suffer through a series of awful in-jokes and bizarre habits, and that's before you have to watch people pretend to do improv comedy. The story itself is actually fairly good. Once you can get past how irritating four people trying to get on TV are, there's a good lesson about the perils of obsessing over "making it."

I feel bad for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for having to remember the lines for this totally garbage script. They are talented actors and hilarious writers but they could not hold up this monstrosity on their own. Rarely do I turn a movie off but my god I could not get more than an hour into this crapfest.

We're no longer seeing 500 page books pared down to 2 hour compromises. Rowling is working within the medium and allowed to flourish. For the first time, I'm seeing her work portrayed on film and not knowing exactly what to expect. I'm old and jaded, but this film delivered a true sense of wonder to me. Rowling's magic is just like what she put in her books. It's funny and intriguing. It's odd. It starts from an unlikely place but manages to get all the way to deep issues of society and self.

This movie has an interesting premise, but it's dull as a doorknob and not scary at all. I would sooner call it supernatural than a horror movie. Also the setting is bizarre and unnerving (they watch black & white tv, but have an e-reader), the characters' actions never make any sense. If anything, it's a real homage to teen slasher flicks of the 80s, with more sex, more nudity, but much tamer in the scariness department.

This would be a great comedy, but it turns out it's supposed to be a horror movie. The scares are so cheesy and the special effects are so poor that I just couldn't stop myself from laughing. The Conjuring 1 was actually creepy as hell. This one is just bad. I'm really glad I didn't see it in theaters because I'm sure my guffaws would have ruined it for everyone else. The story, moreso than the last movie, is focused on insisting that haunted houses are real, which really killed it for me. It's obvious what really happened - the movie even spells it out for you.

This is one of the dullest movies I've ever watched. Even the premise is dull. There's no real exposition at any point, which does not help. This woman goes around asking her coworkers to vote so she can keep her job. If they vote against her, they get pay bonuses. The coworkers say "yes" or "no." Then at the end, they vote. That's it. That's the whole movie.

Tyne Daly was good, and I really liked the soundtrack but this movie is just bland indie pablum. It's not actually funny at any point, either. Just a big load of nothing piled onto a premise that might work as a five minute sketch. This is Showalter's worst.

Suffers from prequelitis, too many characters and too many disparate storylines. Apocalypse seems like he's written by a nine-year-old: he can control matter, teleport, instantly learn English from a TV, he's psychic - his superpower seems to be that he's immune to whatever problem he's currently faced with. It's like playing pretend with a kid who always has an excuse for never losing. The odd thing is that these inconsistencies are all peppered with a lot of comic book fan-service. Psylocke is here, with her 90s costume, but her powers make no sense. Angel makes his transformation but had no 'good guy' affiliation before, so there's no real conflict. He barely has any lines (as usual with Singer, almost none of the villains do). There are a lot of callbacks to the earlier movies that don't make a hell of a lot of sense, and characters are shoehorned in to fill some kind of mutant quota (Wolverine, Jubilee, even Magneto and Beast). Despite all this, it's a reasonably fun movie. If you're not an X-Men fan, I wouldn't recommend it.

As a dumb popcorn comedy, it works way better than the first. This is odd, because it's not a stupid movie. It's feminist and progressive while poking fun at the movements. This makes it a hell of a lot funnier than the series of prank gags and awkward moments that comprised the first movie. Rather than going the easy route and focusing on "hot drunk sorority girls," it gives the women personalities and motivations beyond looking great for the male viewers, including gags and discussions that are instant turn-offs but make for great laughs while humanizing the characters.

I've sat through every marvel movie up til now, and the only one I bothered watching more than once was Iron Man. This one breaks the mold. The only (minor) trouble is, it's incredibly reliant on events from previous movies (the title is a misnomer, this is a full-on Avengers: Winter Soldier 2) for anything to make sense, and there still, still, STILL isn't a frigging supervillain. Still. Every bad guy is just a good guy having a bad day. It's funny, it's engaging, and the action scenes actually look interesting, as opposed to the snoozefest of "Captain America beats up 200 normal guys" or "Captain America definitely did not get shot during that hailstorm of bullets." It's slow to start, there are some cheesy bits, mostly involving Black Panther, and each scene contains a minimum of 2 superheroes, but it's actually a fun movie with a good, coherent story (if you still remember the previous.. 4 movies? that weren't that great). Spider-man is a bright spot, and Downey Jr plays a better villain than his last 4 tries as hero. Rather than being the same predictable formula that's been every movie since Iron Man and Hulk, this one tries to be different and legitimately surprises you in big and small ways. As a payoff or an ending to a series of ok movies, this is great. As a standalone film, god help you.

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

This is easily the worst Tarantino film. It seems more suited to a play or novel. Basically, if you want to hear the backstories of the rootinest, tootinest Yosemite Sammiest bad boys of the Ol' West told over the course of 3 hours of painfully slow one-on-one deaths, watch this. Whoever leaked the script was doing the director a favor. He should not have made this film.

In a year fraught with awards bait films that are dull as dishwater, Anomalisa takes the cake. Forget the thrill of freezing to death in Montana, being talked to death in Wyoming, or being the dullest two women in New York - Anomalisa brings you - checking into a hotel in Cincinnati. Taking a cab ride in Cincinatti. Listening to a solo rendition of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. In Cincinnati. Somehow Kaufman wasn't satisfied with making the most dull, pretentious live-action movie of all time, Synecdoche NY - he had to make the dullest stop-motion movie of all time. At least this one was short.

I cannot for the life of me understand why people seem to adore this movie. It's frighteningly dull. Just another road movie, this time set inside a frame story that just failed to reach me. The emotion characters are somewhere in-between worshiping and controlling a little girl who gets upset because.... her new house is dirty. A big victorian house in the most expensive city in the country. The whole movie I felt more empathy for the parents who tried to make the move comfortable for their daughter. The whole emotions/memories world just failed to wow me. It seemed inconsistent, cheesy and reductive. Even when the worst happened and whole buildings crumbled, they just reappeared intact later on. The jokes were bland... the whole movie was.

It followed a formulaic pattern of quickly surmounting seemingly insurmountable problems with little display of effort, but it was still a pretty cool movie. It felt like the nicer, optimistic version of Gravity. It bugged me the whole time that there was a dude called Kapoor and he wasn't Indian.

Going in, I thought I knew what this movie was about. I had no idea. It is gripping. It's a revelation. I don't even care if Mark Ruffalo is pretending to be hispanic. It's that good.

Do not watch this movie unless you are trying to go to sleep. Even for pretentious awards bait, it's incredibly dull. Normally, I'd say that you could skip the entire first hour and not miss anything, but you could skip the entire movie and not miss anything.

You gotta see this movie! Yeah I only understood about half of what was going on and I'm still reading wikipedia articles about securities and assets. It's surprisingly funny, very weird and just incredible at exposing the absurdity of the real estate bubble. Christian Bale is PERFECT in it. Everyone is a total ****, but you still want them to succeed. It's incredible.

This movie was super boring. Dude needs an editor like mad. Good fight scene at the end though. Maybe don't show so much snow and trees. We get it, it's cold. Tom Hardy was great in it! Too bad everything else will put you to sleep.