portmanteau

So, so bad. No real stakes (wink wink), there's no reason to feel anything for any of the characters, it's a lifeless affair... The vfx feels like it's there because they had to do something, but couldn't come up with a decent idea, so everybody has colour coded particle clouds for some reason

Was with it until the third act, and then it just tonally falls apart, it jarringly departs from the tension built in the first two acts and wraps things up with an absurd sequence. A promising film that turns out to be a bit of a wasted opportunity.

Feels like a rough cut, there's a lot of dead space in the edit. The action sequences are trying so hard but it's all a bit flat. Clearly it's trying to sprinkle in the visual styles of far superior flicks and feels nondescript because of it. To do so little with such a cast is quite amazing.

Where he was stuck makes no sense, there was no room to work, he was sandwiched into a tiny space. Asides from that, it makes no sense they'd not scrub the mission, it was not a "humanities last hope" kinda situation, they were a few hours out. It just made no sense.

inferior to the original in just about every way possible. A charmless,gormless mess that lumbers on as a loose collection of poorly thought out setups, bad jokes and stilted acting. The edit has so much dead air around lines that it feels like a first assembly, not a finished product.

All the goodwill and hard work done in the movie is frittered away in the final act. There's some beautiful moments in this film, astonishing production design and cinematography, beautifully crafted tension,and some hypnotic ambiguity. But that all gets chucked out the window with an unintentionally comedic crescendo. Which tonally drives off a cliff.

A bland and charmless affair. Whilst not utterly awful, it's not very good either. The thrills are tepid and the shark not particularly menacing.

beautiful art direction, stilted dialogue, absurd truncated editing and characterisation. All in all, a bit of a train wreck as a film/story. Not remotely engaging, lack lustre action. All the gloss, none of the substance. What a shame.

Ineptly shot action, regurgitation of previous story-lines. A stroby clunky mess, lacking in anything resembling skill, charm or substance. A cynical cash-grab paycheque aimed squarely at tweens yet to see something with a bit more substance. It's an expensive but banal video-game cutscene.

Surprise surprise, Micheal Bay Transformers movie is complete garbage. You have to be extraordinarily thick to see anything positive in this cacophony of digital noise. It's like a challenge to see just how bad a film can be before you say "hang on, is this for real?" The definition of mindless entertainment....that's not particularly entertaining. I'd sooner watch paint dry, literally.