If you've played this game you are an total and absolute nerd and I welcome you into my coven. Put this on the marketplace for XBox One, Microsoft, you cowards!
I love that Square-Enix game us one and a half games and a movie and put a seventy dollar price range on it and we just bought it, Nomura at this point can convince anyone to do anything. This man horrifies me, he could sell air to a fish.
I love this game a lot because I'll play it once every six months with a new farm, get to know the towns people, make a bit of money and build a home, get some animals and plant crops until they inevitably become so numerous that I spend most of the in-game day taking care of them. Then I play through winter and give up in Spring because, despite all the options to take care of things, I can't keep up with the actual farming in the farming sim anymore.
I played this game in 2006-2008 because I was trying to make friends that played it. Fighting a duel with one of my friends who was like level 40 I somehow managed to beat him with a level 22 character and he never spoke with me again.
It is late 2011. You sit, excitedly, booting up the second game of my new favorite franchise. The characters are lively. You are excited to learn more about them. You are excited to be here. It is 9:30 Dragon. The Hawke family arrives in Kirkwall. Sometimes with a brother, sometimes with a sister, always with a mother and a sarcastic elder sibling. They look up on the chains of the city of Kirkwall, hopeless as an old drunkard reveals his lies. It is early 2012. Those chains shall be yours, for the next sixty hours. It is early-to-mid 2012. Friends exist here. People you care about. But... but. You tire of the walls. Walls, everywhere. Brick and sandstone, gravel and stone. Linearity and repeated cycles. It is 9:34 Dragon. It is mid-2012. The outside has walls. You cannot see it, but you know they are there. Invisible walls, a linear path, the same grass, the same stone. Same as the sandstone and brick. Everything has one road, everything repeats, again and again. New places are old, but old places are never new. It is 9:34 Dragon, it is mid-2012. It is late summer 2012. You reach an end. The city burns, the chains seem to break. It has been six months, it has been sixty hours, it has been seven years. It is 9:37 Dragon, it is August 2012. It is late 2012. You return. It is 9:30 Dragon. It is early 2013. You return to your friends. It is 9:34 Dragon. It is late 2014. It is 9:37 Dragon. You look down. The shackles were never broken. One ties you back, the other ahead. It is late 2016. It is 9:30 Dragon. Sandstone and brick, friends and companions, also locked in the walls of the prison that you can see and not see. Friends you return to. To make sense of it all. It is late 2018. It is 9:30 Dragon. It is late 2019. It is 9:34 Dragon. The shackles never released you. You are tied, backwards and forwards. You may never leave here. You shall always return. It is mid-2021. You are tied, backwards and forwards. It is 9:37 Dragon. The walls. Sandstone and brick. Invisible and visible. It is mid-2022. It is 9:30 Dragon.
Bioware likes to PRETEND like your choices matter in this game, but they're LYING to you. If you don't believe me, go look at the tapestry options. In all those intricate and well thought out options, there isn't a single one that shakes up the whole timeline, despite the option being there. That is why I'm writing Bioware before DA4, to REMIND them your choices MEAN something! CANONIZE THE DARKSPAWN CHRONICLES, END THE LIES!
I hate this game and what it did tot he franchise with every fiber of my being, but it also has some really sharp clothing options that are better than it's predecessor's had to offer so that brings it up past a five. I never said I wasn't a hypocritical ****
when i was in high school i would play this game non-stop because it was the only 360 game i had for quite a while, so when i'd invite friends over we'd usually play the campaign offline. one time we were doing a higher difficulty run and i kept restarting the middle missions from checkpoints, and when my friend asked me why i said there were a handful of ODST's with us and we had to keep them alive because they'd follow us through the next few missions. at one point near the end i restarted after a particularly difficult area, and my friend stormed up and said 'WHO IS YOUR FRIEND, THE FAKE SOLDIERS OR ME?' we got pizza on me as an apology and then i did the same thing again. Later I found out those ODST's just spawn in at the start of each of the levels.
Sure Garrus is a jackboot military ACAB thug, but he's MY jackboot military ACAB thug. That's got to count for something, right? Right?? On second thought, keep him away from Tali.
Gotta love a sequel that adds the ability to play a woman bafflingly late, because it allows you to just assume you've been playing a trans woman all along. Make it canon, cowards.
The greatest Pokemon game ever made, except for the fact that it took the all blue female lead option and replaced her with generic skin 130. So really the worst Pokemon game ever made.
In a game where the main character has about five lines of dialogue, I appreciate that one of the few they allowed was rightfully pointing out a character's shoe crimes.
