crazyoli

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

A silly and whacky movie that gets elevated by a fresh monster design. I honestly don't know why this is not labeled as horror/comedy. So yeah, the characters act pretty stupidly and the acting itself is not exactly mindblowing but mixing up the classical siren from Ancient Greek mythology with a succubus was pretty cool. I especially liked the toothy grin though I can understand if people found it to be cheesy. The CGI was ok. It could have been better but the whole movie had a low-budget feel to it anyway. I just wished they left the whole comedic part out! While I am not going to say it did not work at all, I would have preferred less lightheartedness and more suspense. So, I am giving it a weak 7 for the interesting monster idea. I totally would not argue with someone giving this movie only a 4-6 just for the story. Very understandable.

Savage Native Americans? Really? We're still not done with that? Oh, pardon - they were cannibalistic troglodytes! I know. The movie was solid otherwise. Not great mind you, just okay. It has the usual stupid character decisions that make no sense and are just there to drive the plot forward along with the usual magical healing abilities that many action heroes seem to have. Only when they need them of course. Everybody is willing to throw their lives away as well as is to be expected from these kinds of movies. The acting was sometimes decent and interesting and sometimes pretty cliche and shallow. I can't even single out one actor for that since each of them switched between those parameters. Only Simmons was especially unconvincing. Damsel in distress anyone? Not that she looked too desperate as a prisoner *wink*. The sound effects were a bit over the top. The gore was new for a Western movie (Yeah, it's labeled horror. I know.) but I was ok with that. What wasn't new though were the Western movie tropes.

They could have made an entertaining movie but they made an art movie instead! If you like symbolism and pretentious art puzzle movies a la David Lynch, then this is the movie for you! I for one, don't really like these kinda movies. I'm sure the turtle, the wolf costume, the tapes all have a very deep meaning and are connected to the grieving process but I just can't be bothered to untangle all that. I've just seen too many movies with mental conditions bleeding into reality by now. Strangely enough, I've heard that you can even do both - combine a captivating story with powerful images that depict the inner state of the characters! This movie just goes for the latter. So, since it is just a one-woman-show, I guess you're supposed to say it was a powerful performance or something but to me it was just another pretty chick cast as a lead role as usual. What's decent about the movie are the CGI effects, the music and I guess it succeeds in what it wants to do which is transport a certain atmosphere of despair, disenfranchisement, and other typical artsy blah blah. To sum things up, if you're a movie critic you'll probably like the movie, if not you probably can skip the movie. See user vs. critic score!

Pros: I got a nice power nap in the middle of the movie and I kinda liked the Egyptian design of the sexy mummy and the weird movement of the skeletons. I did not dislike the mummy's performance but I think sticking to the old version would have been better for the fear factor. I was a bit disappointed in that regard. Cons: Basically everything else. I never was a big fan of Tom Cruise but in recent years he has become unwatchable with his aggressive-confident attitude. Especially in this movie, it kills all the jokes and lightheartedness. Totally miscast. He'll never be an Indiana Jones. So the movie is not funny, it's not frightening, it's just Tom Cruise cruising around and every chick in the movie is just chasing that old man. The mummy's interest in him especially makes no sense considering what happens later. Screw logic! It's just a cash-grab movie anyway. And wth is Jekyll/Hide doing in this movie? Urgh! Just awful. I see a dark future ahead for the Universal Dark Universe.

Overrated. If you like all the Marvel movies you'll probably love this one because it features a bunch of them at once. Personally, I find them 'meh'. Some are decent, some are boring. Popcorn movies. I don't care much for the Guardians of the Galaxy humor and they make up a good chunk of the movie. Looking at it rationally, the leader of them should be portrayed as a villain as well for what he did in a decisive moment but the movie, of course, has no time for any reflections. I watched it with an open mind and was ready to like it. From what I've heard Thanos as a villain sounded interestingly enough even though the infinity stones with the glove look like he got them from a gumball machine. Sadly, Thanos story was the only thing that I found somewhat interesting about the movie with the large scale battle being particularly generic and emotionless. "Here's some stuff for you to punch!" Endgame was better but even as an intro for it Infinity War is just a snoozefest.

One of the best non-Cthulhu Cthulhu movies. Yeah, it rips-off a few things - so what? So do many other movies! Star Wars even rips-off itself! It's a solid movie. Not too deep (pardon the pun) but if you like movies like "The cave" or "The descent" you might like this one. I sure did. As for criticism. Well, let's just say Kristen Stewart does not have too many facial expressions but I still liked her performance. The female lead is also a nod to "Alien", I guess. And I also understand the criticism of the visuals and audio being blurry and unintelligible. That indeed made it more realistic and atmospheric but I wished they had used it more sparingly.

Boring family drama. What a nuthouse! Only the end is somewhat entertaining. The same old "is it real or just in their minds?" game. Snore. And no, I am not a fan of brainless horror movies. Quite the opposite. The dollhouse gimmick was clever. So I'll give it a 6 despite the horrible pacing and tedious craziness.