The Boring Eight? Tarantino obviously lives in that bubble where everyone tells him how great he is, but knowing how brilliant he can be, I can tell him what crap this is.... I thought Snakes On A Plane was Samuel L's worst, I was wrong. Just goes to show, we all need a paycheck....
If Mel Brooks had directed it might have worked, because this can only be approached as a work of satire. But it's not funny, it's not sad, it's a dud on every level, a milk dud has more flavor. Tarantino cannot write romance, what a shock, right. But a romance is the center of the story and ( Jamie Foxx, Kerry Washington) were both a total miscast. Will Smith would have elevated the love story playing opposite say perhaps Keke Palmer who owns an edge and inherent sadness in her eyes at times but shares the attractive personality of Will Smith, whereas Foxx and Washington were both dull and artificially stoic. What's more Tarantino did not even come close to depicting the misery of enslavement, which was key in lending any emotional involvement for the audience. A lazy outing at the typewriter for **** you wanna write slavery, shackle yourself to the desk next time because you clearly do not know what it means and failed even to imagine it. Christoph Waltz and Leonardo Di Caprio both shined per usual and the death of their characters were felt but as for the rest of the cast you can throw them all to the dogs... Tarantino has proven twice now he can't write historical.
BRAD PITT COLLECTS ANOTHER PAYCHECK ....and audiences continue to get dumbed down into paying for lazy trash like wwz don't expect to be horrified, expect to be bored and annoyed
The Professional opens with an oppressive thrum; the weight of loneliness, a major theme to the story. We are forced to identify with 'Leon' (Jean Reno) who we learn is a hit man that drinks milk, not whiskey, suggesting he is not numbed to his profession, but perhaps pure in his approach, further clarified by his number one rule, "No women, no kids." 12yr old 'Matilda' (Natalie Portman) an old soul that says things like, "I'm already grown up, I'm just getting old." and a fatal romantic, "I want love, or death, that's it." Matilda's surroundings and upbringing make us think she could one day be an artist, a mother of three, or a prostitute, so many outs if she can only stay alive. DEA agent Norman Stansfield (Gary Oldman) charming, gallant, intense, stepping out of the pages of GQ Magazine clearly in love with himself and his work and when he pops a happy pill (his fix) one hears a disturbing audible crack and when the curtains are pulled it's a manic blend of beethoven and 12 gauge blasts, he is everything a detective should be turned on its head into corruption and greed but still we find him taking the time to lecture some truants, "Kids, should be in school." These three characters collide in a story of revenge and justice that a badge or a gavel cannot deliver; it's a love story, The Professional is tender and brutal and platonic and ruthless and moral and in the end, it delivers. Would have preferred a more European open ending, but American audiences demand closure and absoluteness, robbing themselves of a story or character living on and haunting their imagination.
Change the title to GRUMPY MAN and it will pass for an average comedy. And Crowe got an oscar out of the deal. Great job academy! The soundtrack supplied the only clothes pins holding up this drippy crap stained sheet on the line.
Hollywood's two most benign actors (Clooney, Bullock) carry no weight and from the outset I so wished the main characters would be **** into the vacuum of space and obliterated by the black hole that so richly represents their talent. The infinite depths of space as a back drop to the limited range of the actors and the simpleton script makes for great irony ....Television's 'Lost In Space' opening credit sequence had more to say.
