If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

In an age where life’s everyday challenges can test our wits, becoming overwhelmed is a real possibility when they pile up. Just ask Linda (Rose Byrne), a therapist who struggles to sincerely and sensitively assist her troubled patients. But that’s just the start of her problems. She’s also tending to a sick child (Delaney Quinn), the demands of which are considerable, both from the whiny, often-unappreciative youngster and her annoyingly insistent caregivers. To make matters worse, a burst pipe in the ceiling of her apartment has forced mother and child to move into a hotel, a stay that’s become unexpectedly extended due to the lack of repair work by her inattentive landlord. And, through all of these ordeals, Linda is on her own, given that her unfeeling husband (Christian Slater) is frequently away on business. As a consequence, this palette of issues has forced Linda into therapy herself with a peer counselor (Conan O”Brien), whose incessant indifference not only offers little help, but also tends to exacerbate the stress in her life. Over time, the specific pressures associated with each of these incidents begin to snowball, making coping nearly impossible. And, as time passes, Linda feels as though she’s losing herself and descending into her own personal madness. So what is she to do? That’s what this intense offering from actress-writer-director Mary Bronstein seeks to explore. This exceedingly dark comedy-drama examines what a woman on the edge might go through as the breaking point approaches. There’s an undeniably raw, edgy, realistic quality to this release, one that sometimes makes this a decidedly uncomfortable watch. The barrage of challenges to simply get through the day keeps coming at the protagonist (and, hence, viewers) relentlessly, presented here in nonstop fashion at breakneck speed. And it seems that, no matter what good faith efforts Linda makes to resolve her dilemmas, they’re never enough, often exposing her to petty, undue criticism that, in turn, prompt undue, unfair and unfounded accusations of blame and shame. All of these foregoing attributes are routinely intensified by the picture’s regular use of macabre comic relief, serving up laughs about incidents and subjects that many of us might genuinely feel guilty chuckling about. But this film’s real standout asset is the superb performance turned in by Byrne, easily the best work of her career and handily worthy of awards consideration, capably backed by Quinn, O’Brien and other cast members in fine supporting portrayals. To be sure, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” won’t suit everyone, and even avid cinephiles may at times find their patience, tolerance and sensibilities sufficiently challenged. Nevertheless, this is one of those “sign of the times” pictures that unflinchingly exposes much of what’s wrong with contemporary society and that we’d all be wise to take seriously if we ever hope to see improvement in a world where a lack of compassion, understanding and support are being allowed to run rampant. It’s no wonder that so many of us might feel like kicking back under conditions like this. Indeed, maybe it’s time we should all seek to grow some legs of our own.

Was expecting a more nuanced film. This was a horror film with monsters around every corner. If the goal was to beat up the main character and the audience then the director succeeded.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (15) focuses on Linda (Rose Byrne) the mother of a sick daughter who has a tube to receive nutrients and can only have it removed if she eats enough to reach a certain weight. Hospital visits are made more difficult by her refusal to pay for parking which leads to trouble with the attendant. She doesn't seem particularly maternal although her unseen daughter is vocally demanding. Her husband Charles (Christian Slater) is away for two months but calls regularly. A plumbing disaster that creates a hole in the ceiling of their rented apartment sees them move to a hotel, a 'flop house' as she calls it while repairs are made. We see her at session with her unnamed therapist (Conan O'Brien) as she tells him how she feels alone and unsupported not knowing what to do. Linda 'self-medicates' with alcohol and drugs. It is somehow disconcerting to find that Linda is a therapist too, though seemingly more neurotic than some of her patients like Caroline (Danielle Macdonald) a new mother obsessed with the safety of her child. The hole in the bedroom ceiling of the abandoned home becomes a sort of metaphor for the problems in Linda's own life and at times, after drinking or taking drugs, she sees a beam or individual lights appearing to come out of it. As portrayed, Linda is not a woman for whom I have much sympathy and you feel that some of her problems could be solved if she stopped feeling so sorry for herself and thought about others but that is just my take, women and mothers may be more empathetic. I am not sure about what the ending of the film tells us. Does Linda have an epiphany and start to realise that life isn't just about her? It is difficult to tell. Not a film that I want to see again, it was certainly not entertainment, more of a chore to be endured, although seeing that Linda is beset by so many problems, one may leave thinking that our own lives in comparison are much better. I wouldn't recommend watching it though.

waste of time, waste of opportunity to show real problems from an angle, waste of good acting, waste of everything

I just watched the movie.i absolutely hated it. I know it's supposed to be dark and depressing They just made her character just flat out annoying. I actually stopped watching and then came back to watch the rest so i gave it a fair shot. No real story line either. There are ways to show someone dealing with depression & anxiety without the audience really hating the main character. No sympathy for her. She is a therapist too in the movie too. You would think another therapist would try to help her. Her Therapisr in the movie is just plain awful and un professional. Really all the characters are not likeable too. This is way over rated. Its not Rose Bryne fault its just the way the movie was made. Im all for making you feel something in a movie but this could be made way better. Why do filmmakera always think that s dark and depressing movie works. It doesn't. Clearly Jessie Buckley is going to win the Oscar and I did not ever like Hamlet either. She was way better