VoxPaladin

A terrible, low budget stealth game that disguises itself as being polished and of high quality. Firstly, the graphics are running on Unreal Engine 3 which already look terrible, muddy and washed out, only to be hampered by flat textures and poor graphical implementation of most of the existing tech available. A notable example is how Anisotropic Filtering doesn't change regardless of which setting is selected. But there's still plenty more broken with the game. The animations are one of the worst you will ever see. The take-down animations are jerky and finicky, as soon as you take-down a guard, his ragdoll will shake uncontrollably. The platform sequences accompanied do not help the fact that jumping is completely broken, and your character will not grab onto the platform unless you angle him in a very specific position, so that the game registers your input onto that very small hit-box. Of course, there are the usual clipping issues, bugged movements where your character will get stuck in the ground with the "falling animation" as he flails his arms around in the air, forcing you to reload your previous save game. Did I forget to mention that this games load times vary anywhere between 10-50 seconds on loads running on an SSD? Well, yes it does, and no, 50 second save load times are not normal. Then there's the atrocious voice acting, laughable story and juvenile writing in the mix. It desperately tries to be funny and witty by adding immature, crude humor with a fart joke here and another one about "peeling balls" there. But it ultimately fails and falls flat right on it's face. The game-play itself is weak considering the stealth is a joke and the A.I. is laughably stupid as they collide into walls and spin in circles. The developers also ran out of ideas on how to make the stealth system more difficult, so they figure forcing you into a QTE sequence whenever you are spotted, and locking you in it by restricting any input until it is completed is much more logical than allowing you to use your invisibility power to escape. Guards will constantly draw their swords upon finding a corpse and sheathe them right after the cool-down period, only to repeat the exact same thing after walking into a second corpse 5 feet away. This is how bad the A.I. is. And of course, people will still try to defend the game and justify all the bugs and nonsense because it's $30. +1 for the effort.

Biggest joke of 2014, and It's not even funny. Extremely short single-player, lackluster content, terrible controls, no options for key bindings, underpowered classes and extremely repetitive. The co-op is also a joke, net code issues abounding in this stuttery lagfest of hack and slash. Or should I say, trash? 0/10

Wow, let me buy a skimped version of The Sims by paying more money for less content in favor of future DLC that will supposedly restore all the missing features and improvements because it's the fourth installment, therefore it should be better. Said no one ever.

From what I've been able to play so far without the game constantly crashing on me, it's a rehashed, reskinned package of trash. Reused sound assets and animations from DR2, terrible engine with no optimization, buggy physics, constant frame drops on a machine that exceeds the recommended specs, uninspired art style covered by a chrome filter, forgettable story/characters, whiny protagonist and terrible boss fights. Capcom's QA team honestly believes this game is in a fully functional state because it ran fine on 2 test machines. If you're going to port to PC, either do it right or don't do it at all. PS: You can keep your future timed exclusive trash on the console it belongs.

Worst game of 2014? Could be. I thought Thief was bad but oh man, this game thinks way too much of itself as being the coolest open world action game out there. For a "next-gen" game, it lacks detail, reflections and atmosphere. The downgraded graphics aren't even the worst part... The game suffers major slowdowns, especially while driving and even on the lowest settings you'll be sitting around 15-30 fps, and this is all on a high end system.. The controls aren't any better, with forced mouse acceleration, smoothing and lack of cursor in certain menus for navigation. What about game play? Hahahahaha, you must be joking if you think there's anything to do in this maze-like city they call an "open world". Driving is the worst of any open world game I've played. Car physics are so bad, it feels like you're driving a slab of concrete on ice. And the profiling crimes that take place are a joke. It's so repetitive and stale: Go help the woman being harassed, go chase the criminal with string A.I. No thanks. Digital trips are probably the worst aspect of all this. Cause mayhem with your spider tank! Run over demons with your car! But why? To compete in online leader boards. These side activities have nothing to do with the game itself and feel tacked on more than anything else. They are stupid, uninspired mini-games trying to be over-the-top and whacky just for the sake of it, without giving you any real benefit. I'd rather play Mario Party. Then there are the bugs and the horrible A.I. I just don't know what to say about this game anymore. It's a joke that's asking you for $60 and a few hours of your itme, a pathetic attempt at trying to be something profound and unique that just ends up embarrassing itself for all it's shortcomings. Avoid. Like. The. Plague.

Call of Juarez: Gunslinger is a 4 hour, linear corridor shooter with a messy plot that constantly pushes you back and forth. There's no open world to explore and no interesting weapons to be used. It's a very basic shooter and I'm glad it ends the ride very quickly. The art style is very strange and unusual. It tries to cover the cell shaded design but interferes with the actual graphics, it doesn't perform like a toony western shooter and feels like it was just slapped on for the sake of trying to be 'unique' while utterly failing. And what's the deal with those annoying black borders that take up the screen? I'm not happy with the asking price of $15 for such little content. But I will give 1 score for the effort, it feels like they really tried to make a good game but decided to give up half way.

Hotline Miami is a poor game that suffers from a long drag of trial and error approach. This game presents itself as a gritty, top down, action arcade game, but the game forces players to play exactly the way the game was supposed to be designed and leaves no room for spontaneity, experimentation or replay value. It's only a matter of minutes before you understand the A.I. pathways and exploit it to reach the objective. Every level is exactly the same with no variation. The story is juvenile at best. The music is mundane. And the trippy art style that constantly flashes colors at you and swerves the screen is literally sickening. So much for a game made using 'Game Maker'... *sigh*

Very bland and generic 'city builder'. Some UI elements are confusing, no signs of challenge other than trying to redirect the horrible NPC A.I. which just walk around and starve to death.

Game is too simplistic. The mechanics could have been a lot better, the level are decent but they could have been a whole lot better. It gets very boring very quickly until you realize there's not much left in the game for you to do. Go from A to B as fast as you can. That's it. 1+ for the effort.

Very bad performance issues, bland gameplay and overly repetitive. Developer is one of the biggest cry babies to ever set foot in the gaming industry. Keep your Fez 2, nobody wants it.

The dev's thought this was 1990 for some reason. You just can't release a buggy game in 2014 and expect good reviews. There's nothing going for the game, and if you even bothered to watch those interviews with the developers, they literally had nothing to say about the game. They couldn't give people one reason to play this game over anything else other than 'It's a fun old school fast paced shooter. Just you and your gun' And boy did they really mean it. Small maps, 0 players. Game went on sale for half a dollar because of how bad it was. 505 blatantly lied to people about the game being actively worked on even when the developers themselves stated they were no longer working on the game. This game is not worth your time or your money

Deus Ex: The Fail offers: * Hand holding tutorials * Vanishing corpses * Zero hit registry and detection and horrible combat * Unresponsive controls * Thousands of bugs, including overlapping audio. * Amateur voice acting * Convenient cheat menu to spawn weapons, grenades and ammo whenever, wherever. Basically, everything that would ruin a perfectly good game like Deus Ex. Great job, Square. Start milking this franchise like you did with Final Fantasy.

This is possibly one of the worst stealth games of the century. What's the point of trying to stay in shadows if the guards are blind as a bat? You could literally stand up, walk around, even RUN and they wouldn't even notice you. The A.I. is non-existent. They have very narrow field of view, ncps keep repeating the same lines of dialogue over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Houses are empty, levels are horribly designed and very linear with so many loading screens. There's no point in exploring multiple paths because they all get you to the same place anyway. Why bother going around the long way to get to your objective when you can just open the front door and literally end up in the same exact spot? The game is so incredibly linear that the idea of having different paths is just a joke. Let's not forget that atrocious story... what were they even thinking? The plot is very loose and jumbled it makes the TV show LOST seem like it had a much more understandable and interesting story as ironic as it sounds. That's just how BAD it is.

Ah. Titanfail. So what's included in this expensive package of garbage you ask? Limited weapons, minimal weapon customization, small number of maps and the atrocious 'single-player' campaign. If you thought the beta was bad, guess what? This is the beta. So, the beta was excused for not having much content because it was technically still in 'development'. Seeing as how the full game is exactly the same is just inexcusable and lazy on the developers part. If you thought Call of Duty was bad, just wait until EA start milking the hell out of this franchise, just like they did with NFS and Battlefield.

Hearthstone? More like Hearth-let me buy all the card decks and build an OP combo to use for every single round. Horribly balanced. Broken ranking system. Not fun AT ALL.

A stupid game for stupid people. Bunch of troll reviews and 'HAHA GUYS! OMG GOAT SO FUNNY!!' 'GOATY!!' Game doesn't run properly, game has not features, no content. It's just an empty playground with static npc's and closed off spaces. The game is buggy as hell and not in a good way. Nothing about this game is funny. I fall through the world, my player model gets bent out of proportion, my frame rate is horrible on a high spec machine... Great job advertising a broken game. This is game is desperately trying to be a funny, over the top, viral joke, but it fails miserably as it left like the developers took 30-minutes to construct a very small level, add static npcs, a few random objects here and there. Zero gameplay, zero value, zero enjoyment. People are going to cry now and say... 'BUT MODS!!! THEY WILL FIX THIS GAME!!' No, they wont. The game is very limited that it can't and won't be able to handle anything more than what's already there. You might be able to make another map or change your skin model, but that's about as much as you're going to get.. What a big waste of time.