Average at best, but people are brainwashed into thinking this is the best videogame ever, so much so that they begged for more and then whined every time they got more.
Done Good: 1) Puzzles. They're challenging but not total nonsense that leave me confused even after looking up the answer. Problems: 1) Everywhere looks the same. I'm not complaining because I'm lost (although the lack of a map and distinct landmarks makes that an issue too), but because its boring. Its a simple fix, just paint some rooms a different colour; a click of the Bucket Tool. If you're in the mood to go the extra step, maybe some plants in a flower pot? Doesn't help that in these white rooms, are white characters and white features, it all blends in. 2) Gunplay. Fun grinds to a halt every time something has to be shot because the reticle does this circling motion instead of letting where you aim, be where you aim! In order to fix this, I recommend that the circling motion is simply removed, or at least reduced to a more human level akin to one's unsteadiness holding a pistol, especially since the main character is a Gynoid, who is beyond human capability. Maybe have a special aiming mode where Haydee is forced to stand completely still but in turn the circling motion disappears entirely? 3) Enemy variety. Speaking of machines and gunplay, adding somewhat to problem 2 is the lack of variety in enemies, literally just 2: Slow but high defence and damage (Smash) and fast but low defense and damage (Slash). There needs to be more than that, WAY more than that. As a suggestion: Shoot, who would be statistically average but has a gun, which since there 3 weapon types already boosts variety to 5. The exact same thing, but in different colours to signify that they have different properties from the standard white models, such as black for overall stat improvement, red for better attack, green for better defense, blue for greater speed and yellow for poisonous/radioactive. Adding Shoot requires some modelling and programming, but alternate designs of pre-existing enemies with different properties is literally a click of the Bucket Tool and rewrite of a single value, there's no reason why this would be hard. 4) The Achievements. As someone who gets quite excessive over getting every achievement in a game, I'm very annoyed to know that there are some I'll simply never have; it'll bug me forever. For example, Runner. Speedrun achievements are a **** plague, why do Devs assume that Achievement Hunters and Speedrunners are the same thing? I'm pretty sure that no one wants this, even if they're looking for a challenge. Can't be fixed now, but please learn for the future. 5) Platforming. jumping off an edge Haydee is on to grab it instead doesn't work because it requires turning around in mid-air, which the game simply doesn't allow. What I have to do instead is grind the game's pace to a halt by slowly walking off, then turning at the sweet spot where you're still on the platform, but you slide off anyway so that I'm (sort of) allowed to turn in mid-air. Why they don't allow any actual turning is beyond me. Additionally, Haydee faces where indicated through WASD instead of through the mouse, meaning there is no backwards or strafing. 6) Sexuality. Yes, it is appealing to have the main character be so damn round. No, this doesn't add to the game. In fact, it may hinder it, as it serves only to make it more disgusting when Haydee brutally has her life snuffed out, which happens a lot. May I suggest implementing sexualised Game Over screens instead of showing something once so gorgeous getting mangled? Overall, considering that I don't like the Platforming or Gunplay, I expected to throw in the towel and simply label this title as **** However, since these issues are to do with rough edges adding up into a collectively non-score worthy experience rather than actual problems, I haven't given up. I'm excited for all of this to get patched, but until then! Edit: It has been a long time with no word on fixes. In fact, there has been word of a sequel instead of fixes. My negative review is now solid, what a waste of money. 'But what if the sequel really does fix things?' Too bad they locked those fixes behind a paywall. AAA Companies over-monetise and (some) Indie Devs trick you into paying again and again for what the original game should've always been, or worse, roping you along by only fixing one thing at a time, per entry. I will only appreciate the fixes if locked to a sequel, if said sequel is also free, especially since they almost definitely won't fix everything and will likely introduce new problems.
You wanted Mega Man and got it. The only issue? YOU forgot that Mega Man can have, and is mostly made of, **** entries. This happened to be the case this time. ... Or so keep saying, most likely because it isn't what's familiar to them. However, I agree that the game did some things quite right! Dashing was fun, absorption was not. Some of the powers were useful instead of 1 or none throughout the game so don't believe the myth that only 3 were useful because there was so many more, weapon energy has recovery and isn't hard to lose to encourage actually using it. Enemies are decently varied and entertaining to go up against, spawning directly on top of MN9 was not. Ducking is automatic in hazardous areas, except one? A mixed bag, but absolutely leaning on positive!
You wanted Mega Man and got it. The only issue? YOU forgot that Mega Man can have, and is mostly made of, **** entries. This happened to be the case this time. ... Or so keep saying, most likely because it isn't what's familiar to them. However, I agree that the game did some things quite right! Dashing was fun, absorption was not. Some of the powers were useful instead of 1 or none throughout the game so don't believe the myth that only 3 were useful because there was so many more, weapon energy has recovery and isn't hard to lose to encourage actually using it. Enemies are decently varied and entertaining to go up against, spawning directly on top of MN9 was not. Ducking is automatic in hazardous areas, except one? A mixed bag, but absolutely leaning on positive!
You wanted Mega Man and got it. The only issue? YOU forgot that Mega Man can have, and is mostly made of, **** entries. This happened to be the case this time. ... Or so keep saying, most likely because it isn't what's familiar to them. However, I agree that the game did some things quite right! Dashing was fun, absorption was not. Some of the powers were useful instead of 1 or none throughout the game so don't believe the myth that only 3 were useful because there was so many more, weapon energy has recovery and isn't hard to lose to encourage actually using it. Enemies are decently varied and entertaining to go up against, spawning directly on top of MN9 was not. Ducking is automatic in hazardous areas, except one? A mixed bag, but absolutely leaning on positive!
You wanted Mega Man and got it. The only issue? YOU forgot that Mega Man can have, and is mostly made of, **** entries. This happened to be the case this time. ... Or so keep saying, most likely because it isn't what's familiar to them. However, I agree that the game did some things quite right! Dashing was fun, absorption was not. Some of the powers were useful instead of 1 or none throughout the game so don't believe the myth that only 3 were useful because there was so many more, weapon energy has recovery and isn't hard to lose to encourage actually using it. Enemies are decently varied and entertaining to go up against, spawning directly on top of MN9 was not. Ducking is automatic in hazardous areas, except one? A mixed bag, but absolutely leaning on positive!
(Reviewing based on the games themselves and not the adaptation.) All 4 Zero entries are plagued 3 by major, gameplay ruining additions: New powers, but only if you do good - In an incredibly baffling turn of events, Zero only learns new powers 'um actu-' I DON'T CARE THAT THEY ARE CALLED SKILLS. Anyway, Zero only learns new powers on the condition that the player performs incredibly well... too well, impossibly well. Odds are that the average person will be VERY behind that mark. Cyber Elves! Er, guess not... - You can use Cyber Elves to make the missions more bearable... but they lock you out of the previously mentioned perfection required to obtain new abilities. I mean, I guess its more likely to make use out of the quadruple health bar elves than it is plausible to get an A in these levels. Some Elves even grant you a guaranteed A rank, thus a guaranteed power, but they are VERY few. Study the maps like its a goddamn exam :/ - Instead of asking for skill or to learn a pattern, this game asks for memory. A lot of memory. It feels like there are up to thousands of mistakes that you, the player, are forced to make and then remember for next time. This ****, and from my memory has always **** in any game, ever. The worst part? These issues create a loop of dissatisfying gameplay. The level is difficult in unfair ways that you can't avoid without already making the severe mistake and remembering all 400 of them for next time > you can't use Cyber Elves because that will lock you out of powers > you can't get powers because you are expected to breeze through as though its easy > it isn't easy because of the reason at the start of this loop. That doesn't even mention the forced damage either! What a trainwreck of not just a game, but a series. Yes, they added stuff to make it easier, but these problems are rooted down to its core - to fix them, Zero series needs reworked, not re-released. As for ZX, its much more bearable due to the existence of Easy Mode. Unfair fall? Unavoidable damage? Want to simply have a safe environment to learn the game? Plain just don't like normal and hard difficulty? Got you covered with fall recovery, reduced damage received and boosted damage dealt! Also, powers are guaranteed again, FINALLY. Only issue is the exploration and navigation, gets very confusing without a better map from online, but you can get there.
(Reviewing based on the games themselves and not the adaptation.) All 4 Zero entries are plagued 3 by major, gameplay ruining additions: New powers, but only if you do good - In an incredibly baffling turn of events, Zero only learns new powers 'um actu-' I DON'T CARE THAT THEY ARE CALLED SKILLS. Anyway, Zero only learns new powers on the condition that the player performs incredibly well... too well, impossibly well. Odds are that the average person will be VERY behind that mark. Cyber Elves! Er, guess not... - You can use Cyber Elves to make the missions more bearable... but they lock you out of the previously mentioned perfection required to obtain new abilities. I mean, I guess its more likely to make use out of the quadruple health bar elves than it is plausible to get an A in these levels. Some Elves even grant you a guaranteed A rank, thus a guaranteed power, but they are VERY few. Study the maps like its a goddamn exam :/ - Instead of asking for skill or to learn a pattern, this game asks for memory. A lot of memory. It feels like there are up to thousands of mistakes that you, the player, are forced to make and then remember for next time. This ****, and from my memory has always **** in any game, ever. The worst part? These issues create a loop of dissatisfying gameplay. The level is difficult in unfair ways that you can't avoid without already making the severe mistake and remembering all 400 of them for next time > you can't use Cyber Elves because that will lock you out of powers > you can't get powers because you are expected to breeze through as though its easy > it isn't easy because of the reason at the start of this loop. That doesn't even mention the forced damage either! What a trainwreck of not just a game, but a series. Yes, they added stuff to make it easier, but these problems are rooted down to its core - to fix them, Zero series needs reworked, not re-released. As for ZX, its much more bearable due to the existence of Easy Mode. Unfair fall? Unavoidable damage? Want to simply have a safe environment to learn the game? Plain just don't like normal and hard difficulty? Got you covered with fall recovery, reduced damage received and boosted damage dealt! Also, powers are guaranteed again, FINALLY. Only issue is the exploration and navigation, gets very confusing without a better map from online, but you can get there.
(Reviewing based on the games themselves and not the adaptation.) All 4 Zero entries are plagued 3 by major, gameplay ruining additions: New powers, but only if you do good - In an incredibly baffling turn of events, Zero only learns new powers 'um actu-' I DON'T CARE THAT THEY ARE CALLED SKILLS. Anyway, Zero only learns new powers on the condition that the player performs incredibly well... too well, impossibly well. Odds are that the average person will be VERY behind that mark. Cyber Elves! Er, guess not... - You can use Cyber Elves to make the missions more bearable... but they lock you out of the previously mentioned perfection required to obtain new abilities. I mean, I guess its more likely to make use out of the quadruple health bar elves than it is plausible to get an A in these levels. Some Elves even grant you a guaranteed A rank, thus a guaranteed power, but they are VERY few. Study the maps like its a goddamn exam :/ - Instead of asking for skill or to learn a pattern, this game asks for memory. A lot of memory. It feels like there are up to thousands of mistakes that you, the player, are forced to make and then remember for next time. This ****, and from my memory has always **** in any game, ever. The worst part? These issues create a loop of dissatisfying gameplay. The level is difficult in unfair ways that you can't avoid without already making the severe mistake and remembering all 400 of them for next time > you can't use Cyber Elves because that will lock you out of powers > you can't get powers because you are expected to breeze through as though its easy > it isn't easy because of the reason at the start of this loop. That doesn't even mention the forced damage either! What a trainwreck of not just a game, but a series. Yes, they added stuff to make it easier, but these problems are rooted down to its core - to fix them, Zero series needs reworked, not re-released. As for ZX, its much more bearable due to the existence of Easy Mode. Unfair fall? Unavoidable damage? Want to simply have a safe environment to learn the game? Plain just don't like normal and hard difficulty? Got you covered with fall recovery, reduced damage received and boosted damage dealt! Also, powers are guaranteed again, FINALLY. Only issue is the exploration and navigation, gets very confusing without a better map from online, but you can get there.
(Reviewing based on the games themselves and not the adaptation.) All 4 Zero entries are plagued 3 by major, gameplay ruining additions: New powers, but only if you do good - In an incredibly baffling turn of events, Zero only learns new powers 'um actu-' I DON'T CARE THAT THEY ARE CALLED SKILLS. Anyway, Zero only learns new powers on the condition that the player performs incredibly well... too well, impossibly well. Odds are that the average person will be VERY behind that mark. Cyber Elves! Er, guess not... - You can use Cyber Elves to make the missions more bearable... but they lock you out of the previously mentioned perfection required to obtain new abilities. I mean, I guess its more likely to make use out of the quadruple health bar elves than it is plausible to get an A in these levels. Some Elves even grant you a guaranteed A rank, thus a guaranteed power, but they are VERY few. Study the maps like its a goddamn exam :/ - Instead of asking for skill or to learn a pattern, this game asks for memory. A lot of memory. It feels like there are up to thousands of mistakes that you, the player, are forced to make and then remember for next time. This ****, and from my memory has always **** in any game, ever. The worst part? These issues create a loop of dissatisfying gameplay. The level is difficult in unfair ways that you can't avoid without already making the severe mistake and remembering all 400 of them for next time > you can't use Cyber Elves because that will lock you out of powers > you can't get powers because you are expected to breeze through as though its easy > it isn't easy because of the reason at the start of this loop. That doesn't even mention the forced damage either! What a trainwreck of not just a game, but a series. Yes, they added stuff to make it easier, but these problems are rooted down to its core - to fix them, Zero series needs reworked, not re-released. As for ZX, its much more bearable due to the existence of Easy Mode. Unfair fall? Unavoidable damage? Want to simply have a safe environment to learn the game? Plain just don't like normal and hard difficulty? Got you covered with fall recovery, reduced damage received and boosted damage dealt! Also, powers are guaranteed again, FINALLY. Only issue is the exploration and navigation, gets very confusing without a better map from online, but you can get there. Out of 100, I gave a 0 for every Zero game, and 17 for each ZX game, giving this collection a 34/100.
Isn't psychological horror. Endless bugs. Multiple segments of forced damage. Blatant symbolism. Lack of symbolism. Invisible walls and ice physics during platforming. A waste of time.
TL;DR - I love it, but there needs to be more of it. A bit bare bones but the Wii U was failing so I don't mind. I've only grown to like it more as its sequel disappointed me. I have a lot of detailed cons and few pros, but that's just because I'm really good at complaining and not describing good. I, in fact, adore this game a lot. Pros: Unique and Fun Twist - There simply isn't anything that plays like Splatoon, I'd gladly experience inking action day in and day out not only because of an engaging reward system, but actually being fun at its core. Not many games can say that. Colourful - It's just pretty okay?! Cons: Missing basic features - Since Nintendo has proven to be just like other companies as of late, I've decided to criticise them for this instead of being thankful that they're 'in the past'. Why no bots? Why no servers? Why can't the game tell me what I have and haven't bought already? No gear or weapon sort? etc Gear - The fun grinds to a halt when it comes to the gear system. One of the big reasons I stopped playing back in the day is because it literally took 6 months to get the rolls on my Motor Boots right, keeping in mind that I was going for the most common roll and not anything weird. On that note, miss Splatfest and you're out of luck, simple as that. I don't blame anyone if they have, in fact, I actively encourage that you use save scumming or even cheating to bypass this system. What a kill joy. Lacking content - Far too few online modes, especially casual ones. Use the Bucket tool on a pre-existing weapon palettes, re-arrange the pre-existing sub and special assets and release it. Stages? Re-release stages that ended up being overhauled overtime as 'classics'. New modes? Easy: Team Splatmatch (Team Deathmatch), a way to play pre-existing Ranked Modes casually without needing S rank and a friend, pre-existing modes but with asymmetrical multiplayer elements (usual team of 4 VS Player-Controlled and fully armoured Agent 3, fit with fully upgraded mains of each weapon class, every sub and all specials, equipped before the match). Some of these are basics, hence why I'm asking for them, others I understand due to the platform's popularity. Blasters + Sloshing Machine - Nintendo thought it was smart to make a weapon class that can't miss, kills fast and has the advantage regardless of range. No, no it wasn't. Direct hit, instant kill. Miss twice, still a kill! Using a weaker Blaster that kills in 2 directs or 4 misses? Fires faster to compensate, I already mentioned you can't miss, it's exactly the same but with better coverage and maybe a more helpful set. Long range? Good, bully them without them even realising what's happening or being able to touch you. Short range? You DEFINITELY can't miss now and your range is way longer than you think due to the explosions. The only thing it can't do is get coverage, which doesn't matter as it will face every round essentially unopposed. Could be balanced out by removing automatic fire for tap shots and requiring an additional button press for the ink bullet to explode to make them actually take skill to use and even make them more versatile, then maybe even buff their ink coverage to compensate for these changes. Balance - Honestly, if specials had a one second delay before activating, it would make all the difference. I'll stand by the idea that chaos is part of the fun, but when you make it impossible to lose or impossible to win, there is no fun to be had, or at least less fun to be had playing, so Bubblers should be gone come the sequel. Kraken is fine if it is given either more knockback or it's health works closer to the big training dummies rather than being invincible. Other specials are fine. Weapons, can confirm that Rollers are NOT overpowered, coverage and instant kill is all they have as the most basic observation skills means you can shoot it down. Shooters are sweet, but the Semi-Shooters L3 and H3, why do they exist? Chargers exist to be annoying, nuff said. Splatlings are my new favourite, if only they released Heavy with a more decent set, but Mini is really good too! Slosher, I don't use it and hate that no one else uses it either, but it's so cool! I gave Blasters and the Sloshing Machine an entire section... yikes.
TL;DR - Love it, but there needs to be more of it. There are too many ways to cut comparisons that make the game easily feel bare bones, most notably to the already bare bones original. This feeling only increased when Paid Online was introduced, a rip off now that new content has stopped and improvements to Online as a whole are nowhere to be heard of. I have a lot of detailed cons and few pros, but that's just because I'm really good at complaining and not describing good. I, in fact, adore this game a lot. Pros: Unique and Fun Twist - There simply isn't anything that plays like Splatoon 2 other than the original, I'd gladly experience inking action day in and day out not only because of an engaging reward system, but actually being fun at its core. Not many games can say that. Cons: Missing basic features - Since Nintendo has proven to be just like other companies as of late, I've decided to criticise them for this instead of being thankful that they're 'in the past'. Why no bots? Why no Single Player Salmon Run? Why no servers? Why can't the game tell me what I have and haven't bought already? Why are all the minigames gone, couldn't even port them? Gear - The fun grinds to a halt when it comes to the gear system. I never re-roll because I know that I won't get what I want, so I always scrub slots. For some reason, the chunks just come way too slow. I guess it's improved in the sense that it's guaranteed, but it's worse in that it will always take forever. On that note, miss Splatfest and you're out of luck, simple as that. Paid online - The quality just isn't satisfied if I have to continually pay for it. Keep in mind that I have a strong opinion that Paid Online is wrong full stop, but think about it, this version of Paid Online is at its worst, other platforms would at least butter you up so you don't feel bad that you're being forced into what should be a VERY unnecessary payment every year, on Nintendo you're paying for the sake of paying. Nintendo, if they insist on making it paid, should be buttering us up by bettering the online experience and putting more content into their online IPs, but after all this time there isn't so much as a rumour that they plan to do anything. Lacking content - Stages and weapons never ported from the original, far too few online modes, especially casual ones, am I really asking much? It's such an easy fix too! Do what you have already been doing by using the Bucket tool on a pre-existing weapon palettes, re-arrange the pre-existing sub and special assets and release, I'm not a programmer and I know for a fact that this isn't hard. Stages? Re-release stages that ended up being overhauled overtime as 'classics' and port the stages that haven't been from the original. New modes? Easy: Single-Player Salmon Run, Survival Salmon Run (infinite amount of waves only stops after a crew wipe. Starts at easiest, gets harder by equivalent of 5 rank points each wave, more or less depending on performance. Scored by waves survived multiplied by average difficulty boosts across rounds.) Team Splatmatch (Team Deathmatch), a way to play pre-existing Ranked Modes casually, pre-existing modes but with asymmetrical multiplayer elements (usual team of 4 VS Player-Controlled and fully armoured Agent 4, fit with fully upgraded mains of each weapon class, every sub and all specials, equipped before the match), if they insist on Paid Online then a more substantial Offline, ability to play pre-existing modes Offline in general, pre-existing modes but with limitations on what main, sub and special is allowed to be used. I could go on, I really could. Blasters - Nintendo thought it was smart to make a weapon class that can't miss, kills fast and has the advantage regardless of range. No, no it wasn't. Direct hit, instant kill. Miss twice, still a kill! Using a weaker Blaster that kills in 2 directs or 4 misses? Fires faster to compensate, I already mentioned you can't miss, it's exactly the same but with better coverage and maybe a more helpful set. Long range? Good, bully them without them even realising what's happening or being able to touch you. Short range? You DEFINITELY can't miss now and your range is way longer than you think due to the explosions. The only thing it can't do is get coverage, which doesn't matter as it will face every round essentially unopposed. Now yes, this class could be balanced out by removing automatic fire and requiring an additional button press for the ink bullet to explode to make them actually take skill to use and even make them more versatile, then maybe even buff their ink coverage to compensate for these changes, but after what they pulled with the Clash Blaster, I no longer trust the Devs to ever get this right. So, just remove the whole thing and equivalents, never speak of it again and never bring it back next game or in any game. Oh and a few other weapons are overpowered I guess, take this as a point about poor balancing?
