TheJeffness

This game is very similar to WarioWare, but take Wario and replace him with a creepy future-pedophile Brit, take 100 minigames and replace it with 30, and take crackhead design and replace it with methamphetamine addict design. The story to this game is that the creepy protagonist has developed a severe pudding/Flan **** is experiencing hallucinations from drugs, laced pudding, or pudding withdrawls(Delerium tremors). In his psycotic state, he is envisioning someone(you) following simple random orders from himin a bizarre dream-like setting. This is the closes explanation for the story....which in essence means there isnt a story at all. Its a pretty fun game for a little while, its fun to compete with friends and take turns, and its a cool thing to show off. You will probably have a couple hours of fun playing this, but after that you will probably be done with the game for awhile due to the small selection of mini-games and half of them being too simple/pointless. Normally I wouldnt recommend buying a game that only offers a couple hours of game **** its FREE! So it is totally worth trying and playing! I even laughed during some parts like when I jumped out the window because it was too dark in my room to take a picture of something blue, and when I slit my throat to find something ****, but it can get frustrating with about 10% of the games(2-3 games) This game would be a good value if it was $5, the fact that its $.00 makes it a steal!

This game is an absolute rent! Everything about this game is **** art design, the fluidity, the openness, the game play, Its the things that this game lacks that bring it **** needs a longer story and it needs multi-player. Multi-player would have been amazing in this game with the different powers, all they needed to do was include a basic death match and much fun would have been had. But in today's game review world, developers shy away from including basic or extra things because journalist review video games like books rather than video games. If this game stayed the same, but included just a basic and slightly flawed multiplayer it would have gotten much worse reviews....because college-like smug reviewers grade every aspect ****, and grade the entire game based upon a single whole experience. Like a multiplayer game will come out with the best multiplayer ever, but its single player will **** will get a 7.0 lets say. Now if the same game was released with the same multiplayer, but they just cut out the single player, the game would score a 9.0. Games are being critisized for having too much content...GAMES arnt books, you DONT HAVE to play certain portions to play the rest of the **** a book or movie if something extra is included you have to watch/read it because it is part of a single entity....GAMES CAN HAVE multiple dimensions and routes of play and a game review shouldnt suffer because a flawed thing is included as extra content. This is probably why Dishonered doesnt have basic multiplayer, but I am not going to sit here and act like a smug literary **** am a gamer and I am reviewing a game, not an english major reviewing a game. THIS GAME SUFFERS FROM LACK OF MULTIPLAYER, even if the multiplayer **** it would have been better. ALSO IT IS TOO SHORT! Games cant be reviewed like movies because THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 20+ hours long and cost $60!!! Story = 10 Graphics = 9 Gameplay = 6 (-4 for lacking multiplayer and length Replay = 4 (-5 for lacking multiplayer and length) Originality = 10(withholding multiplayer in a game like this is original!) Originality = 9

CRUMPETS AND TEA ANYONE?!?! You play as a jolly old bloke in this game and wear a **** are also a professor and the art design of your face is severely lacking.

I was dissapointed in this game at first because I was expecting it to be equal to the console version...Criterion developed both versions of this game side by side. I knew right off the bat that the graphics wernt even close to the console version, some claim they are really good and the best on the console but this is not true. Wipeout has far better graphics, and this game looks good but it just looks kind of **** can tell they took out a lot of the cool particle effects, reflection, and hi-rez textures from the console edition. Despite the dissapointing graphics, I was loving this game. It plays so good and it does look pretty impressive at time. Then I read somewhere that not only did they cut down the graphics, they cut down cops and traffic! I was furious, the games roads did seem kind of barren, and it was kind of weird only having 2 cops at a road block....I hated this game for a day because not only was I not getting the same visuals, I wasnt even getting the same GAMEPLAY! Well after a couple days and after I took a stick out of my ass, I began to reassess this game again. Despite hating on it for not being equal in graphics and content on screen(I know the vita can do more, it has same ram as ps3,4 3ghz processors, and loads faster), I came to the consclussion that the game experience I had with this on my Vita was some of the best I had all year. Reanalyzing this and not comparing it, I came to the conclussion that this game is superior to any other Vita racer by far. Even though its not the same as the console version, it is close enough! It is also $40 instead of $60, so I pretty much would have paid $20 more just to see increased traffic and reflections. Also I am getting a really cool "gotta catch em all!" vibe with this game on my **** find cars in the game world, touch them, then they are yours to keep! You also can unlock and upgrade gear indivually with each car. Normally I dont care about these things, but for some reason since it is on my Vita it seems much more personal! Kinda like how with pokemon, you viewed your gameboy as this machine that captured little pets, or a tomagachi,. When I carry this game around in my Vita I get the sense that the cars I've unlocked are MINE, they Belong to ME, it is my OWN LITTLE COLLECTION of cool little things! I wouldnt feel like this on the console, I would just be like "Pshh just another car like with the other 10 racing games I own" Overall very good game. Runs smooth most the **** framerate does drop sometimes in multiplayer when lagging and it will make your crash but this is rare. If this game had all the things the console one did, I would give it a perfect score instead of a 9 Graphics = 9 Sound = 8 Gameplay = 9.5 Originality = 8 Replay = 9

Its kinda like "God of War" had sex with "Zelda", then they had a baby named "Zod of Zar". Meanwhile "Kingdoms of Amular" and "Assasins creed" went out drinking, got drunk, then banged with a busted condom. "Kingdoms of Amular" wanted "Assasins Creed" to get an abortion, but she didnt. This bastard child "Assingdoms of Creedular" then proceeded to slip a roofie in "Zod of Zar"'s drink one night, 9 months late Zod of Zar, birthed a monstrosity of a child and named it Asszod of creedzar.....This child reached the age of 20, cut off its genitals, changed its sex, and named itself darksiders 2. If that story sounded appealing to you, then you will probably like this game! This game is **** it feels mediocore. It just lacks **** attempts to do everything, and it does everything well just not perfect. I really wanted to love this game because it looked good and played well, but I just couldnt really get into it. It just felt generic and a lot of the dungeons felt tedious and bland. Some parts were absolutely gorgeous, fun, and **** it felt that I had to play through an hour long boring dungeon just to reach a cool part of the game. It is a very good game, but I traded it in after 15 hours....there are just too many other great games I need to try, and this game offered too much(which isnt a bad **** the things it offered were fun, but failed to draw me in. If I had less videogame systems and wasted less of my money on videogames I would have loved this game! If you only have $30 and are looking for a couple good older games that dont have multiplayer, I would just get this instead! All the gameplay mechanics(climbing, combat, loot) are comparable to newer titles, so you should just try this game first because you could surely spend 100 hours with it. Just buy it at gamestop used, then return it within 7 days for a full refund if you dont like it.

I was excited to try this after a lot of publications said it was way different than the past COD games, which I got bored with after modern warfare 2. Sadly this is only partly true. The single player game has improve quite a lot, but the multiplayer/zombies stays essentially the same. First the story is a ton better....I was actually constantly looking forward to the next part of the story. There is a huge amount of suspense built throughout the game because you know that **** is about to hit the fan with a America's drone force attacking itself. I usually dont like stories that jump around, but this works very well. Each level is completely different, varied, and in a different **** you dont get lost within the timeline. It is cool how it allows you to make "Choices", but this feels like it wasnt built from the ground up....rather it was thrown in afterword because the different way of doing things seems tacked on. Some have said there is an open world element to the game....THIS IS NOT TRUE AT **** open world they must mean a field surrounded invisible walls and only 2 routes to take. This is not open world and actually makes the game worse. Scripted sequences have always made the COD games stand out for action movie-like breathtaking **** I think its time to move on. Yes, some of the scripted sequences within gameplay make for great parts, but many times it feels like my skill/shooting/moving abilities dont even matter because things are just flying by so fast and it feels that I would have survived, lets say a chase scene where you are shooting from the back of a truck , without even firing a bullet. Also for a scripted game, I dont understand why there are sometimes unlimited respawning enemies....I will be at a part in the game where I am constantly killing bad dudes, and they just keep coming, because I am unaware that I am supposed to move forwards....This especially gets annoying when you spend time killing an unknown number of buddies, decide to move up, than a random grenade lands at your feet or your hit by a mortar. The random deaths in this game from random greades really pisses me off, The multplayer is disappointing. The pick 10 feature is the only good new feature. Everyone has heard the arguments about why COD multplayer **** now, so I will just list a few brief complaints... 1. There is no concept of a "front line" in this **** will be facing a direction or moving in a direction for 15 seconds, and then suddenly someone has spawned behind your team and kills you with you not even knowing they are there. I know this cuts down on camping, but there must be better ways...I shouldnt have to keep looking behind at an area I just cleared.. FLANKING SHOULD BE A TEAM STRATEGY, not a spawning coincidence 2. First to be seen dies....there is really no point in aiming at heads because all the guns fire 100 bullets a second, and have no recoil....many people dont know that in console games there is a slight auto-aim in shooter games when your cursor gets close to a target. This is fine in games like Halo where you have time to dodge or take cover, but a slight auto aim with 1000 shots per seconds, 2 hit deaths, and shots going thru all walls, makes this game just plain stupid. ALL YOU DO IS SEE SOMEONE, SHOOT, AND IF YOU HAVE A FASTER FIRING **** WIN! I realize that this game takes fast reaction time and reflex time, but I dont have that accuracy with my thumb...with a mouse I do, so it makes it so little teens with no IQ who only play COD ever have a chance of winning. You cant outsmart them because there is no way or time to....they see you first, you die, and they are probably behind you spawning in an area you just were in. It would be nice if there was any difference in the guns like in counter-strike GO....I mean I **** at that game on consoles because I dont have an accurate thumb from only playing COD all day, but I am amazing on **** atleast in that game there is actual RECOIL with the guns, and certain ways to shoot **** this game you just aim in general direction and hold down bullet. I will admit that the multiplayer is addicting and a bit fun, but no other game makes me so angry. Its fun for awhile, but if I play multiplayer for more than an hour I am depressed and angry as ****....Battlefield 3, halo, counter-strike I would be having fun after an hour.. Overall. If you like modern warfare and black ops story, you will like this games single player a lot. Best story/characters/suspense/variation yet. If you hated most the other games single player story.characters then there is actually a chance you will like this. I you dont like call of duty multiplayer. you wont like this. If you like COD multiplayer, you will like this. Story = 9.2 Graphics = 6.3 multiplayer = 6.5 Replay = 8 Sound = 7.5 Originality = 6

I was excited to try this after a lot of publications said it was way different than the past COD games, which I got bored with after modern warfare 2. Sadly this is only partly true. The single player game has improve quite a lot, but the multiplayer/zombies stays essentially the same. First the story is a ton better....I was actually constantly looking forward to the next part of the story. There is a huge amount of suspense built throughout the game because you know that **** is about to hit the fan with a America's drone force attacking itself. I usually dont like stories that jump around, but this works very well. Each level is completely different, varied, and in a different **** you dont get lost within the timeline. It is cool how it allows you to make "Choices", but this feels like it wasnt built from the ground up....rather it was thrown in afterword because the different way of doing things seems tacked on. Some have said there is an open world element to the game....THIS IS NOT TRUE AT **** open world they must mean a field surrounded invisible walls and only 2 routes to take. This is not open world and actually makes the game worse. Scripted sequences have always made the COD games stand out for action movie-like breathtaking **** I think its time to move on. Yes, some of the scripted sequences within gameplay make for great parts, but many times it feels like my skill/shooting/moving abilities dont even matter because things are just flying by so fast and it feels that I would have survived, lets say a chase scene where you are shooting from the back of a truck , without even firing a bullet. Also for a scripted game, I dont understand why there are sometimes unlimited respawning enemies....I will be at a part in the game where I am constantly killing bad dudes, and they just keep coming, because I am unaware that I am supposed to move forwards....This especially gets annoying when you spend time killing an unknown number of buddies, decide to move up, than a random grenade lands at your feet or your hit by a mortar. The random deaths in this game from random greades really pisses me off, The multplayer is disappointing. The pick 10 feature is the only good new feature. Everyone has heard the arguments about why COD multplayer **** now, so I will just list a few brief complaints... 1. There is no concept of a "front line" in this **** will be facing a direction or moving in a direction for 15 seconds, and then suddenly someone has spawned behind your team and kills you with you not even knowing they are there. I know this cuts down on camping, but there must be better ways...I shouldnt have to keep looking behind at an area I just cleared.. FLANKING SHOULD BE A TEAM STRATEGY, not a spawning coincidence 2. First to be seen dies....there is really no point in aiming at heads because all the guns fire 100 bullets a second, and have no recoil....many people dont know that in console games there is a slight auto-aim in shooter games when your cursor gets close to a target. This is fine in games like Halo where you have time to dodge or take cover, but a slight auto aim with 1000 shots per seconds, 2 hit deaths, and shots going thru all walls, makes this game just plain stupid. ALL YOU DO IS SEE SOMEONE, SHOOT, AND IF YOU HAVE A FASTER FIRING **** WIN! I realize that this game takes fast reaction time and reflex time, but I dont have that accuracy with my thumb...with a mouse I do, so it makes it so little teens with no IQ who only play COD ever have a chance of winning. You cant outsmart them because there is no way or time to....they see you first, you die, and they are probably behind you spawning in an area you just were in. It would be nice if there was any difference in the guns like in counter-strike GO....I mean I **** at that game on consoles because I dont have an accurate thumb from only playing COD all day, but I am amazing on **** atleast in that game there is actual RECOIL with the guns, and certain ways to shoot **** this game you just aim in general direction and hold down bullet. I will admit that the multiplayer is addicting and a bit fun, but no other game makes me so angry. Its fun for awhile, but if I play multiplayer for more than an hour I am depressed and angry as ****....Battlefield 3, halo, counter-strike I would be having fun after an hour.. Overall. If you like modern warfare and black ops story, you will like this games single player a lot. Best story/characters/suspense/variation yet. If you hated most the other games single player story.characters then there is actually a chance you will like this. I you dont like call of duty multiplayer. you wont like this. If you like COD multiplayer, you will like this. Story = 9.2 Graphics = 6.3 multiplayer = 6.5 Replay = 8 Sound = 7.5 Originality = 6

For the cheap price, this game is perfect. There are plenty of levels and multiplayer modes to keep you busy at first. The real fun though is when you complete the game, and then have to go back to beat the challenges on each level and unlock new characters. Getting high combos is very fun and challenging and extends the replay value indefinately. I have already invested 20 hours in this game, and can see myself playing for awhile. Some people call it too simple, but they are simple minded individuals....there is a hidding depth to this game that you will realize is there after a few hours. The game looks amazing on the Vita and runs at a constant 60fps. This game is very fun alone, but is super fun with friends or online. I have played all Vita games, and I would have to say that this is in my top **** ITS ONLY like 7 bucks on PS plus. If you love classic challenging gameplay, and are a fan of the powerstone series or any partygame that has a game within where you throw **** at eachother....PICK THIS UP NOW!!! I give it a 10 for its price(10.5 considering you get both copies)....I would give it a 9 if it was full priced.