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Viscera Cleanup Detail: Shadow Warrior... OOOHH YOU WANNA CLEANUP SOME WANG? This game does something I thought nothing could ever do... It made cleaning your mess up fun. So as an employee of Zilla Corp. you are assigned to clean up the temple that was trashed in the beginning of Shadow Warrior, all the bodies, blood, and damn broken glass. You use your mop to clean up blood, the incinerator to burn the little bits, and the hazmat bins for the bigger stuff. Find some bloody money? Put it in the suitcase for an extra reward when you clock out... and maybe put a few priceless artifacts in there to. And why not use that dinky little device you received to make sure you didn’t miss anything? And remember, clean with honor. Wow was it difficult to decide if I recommend this or not. It’s a cleaning game, so there’s defiantly going to be mixed opinions, for example a friend and I LOVE these Cleanup Detail games, while two of my other friends hate them, and I don’t recommend on if I like a game or not, I recommend on if its good or bad. So there was two ways I could review this, as a good game or as a bad game. I decided I’ll do it as a good game, because I sure as hell liked it. This, for being a cleaning game, is amazing. Somehow it makes cleaning addicting, I spent an hour just burning stuff and another cleaning up the blood... and I was okay with that! The visuals, as with Shadow Warrior’s, aren’t too great, but defiantly get the job done. Dialog is amazing with Wang’s witty comments as you burn stuff and find money. But this game is riddled with bugs and glitches. Sometimes when picking up an object it sporadically flies through the air, or when you move the suitcase all the money gets throw across the room, and the worst, disappearing objects. After three hours of cleaning and burning, I had found all the money and was getting ready to clock out, but I bumped the suitcase, causing it to glitch out and send one of the rolls of bills flying. Luckily, I watched were it landed. Unluckily, I also watched it fall out of the map through the floor. OCD people will love/hate this game, and so will anybody with addictive natures. But I doubt any 'hardcore' Call of Duty players will enjoy this for more than ten minutes. Pros: Lo Wang's witty comments revolutionizes cleaning addictive gameplay cool and original mechanics (using incinerator, buckets spilling, etc.) Cons: it’s a cleaning game... enough said bugs, glitches, etc. (Rates depend on personalities due to game design) Rate (for someone who’s into cleaning): 8/10 Rate (for someone who’s not into cleaning): 3/10

Outlast... Scary, but not for long. In outlast you are a reporter who receives an anonymous tip sending you to Mount Massive Asylum, only for you to be greeted by horrible deformed psychotic humans. This game uses the same basic premises of Amnesia: Dark Descent, you have no weapons, your only defense is to hide, you have a light with limited use, and the enemies are as dumb as rocks. Basically the only difference is location and enemies, and yet Amnesia did it so much better. The graphics in this game are amazing, some of the best I have seen... or at least for the character models. Everything else looks good, but some textures just don’t cut it. The audio is fantastic, the ambient noises are scary and just make you want to hide under a bed, and being able to hear enemies footsteps get louder and louder as they get closer, and the little remarks they make just adds to the horror. And the hiding mechanic has been improved over Amnesia's, as now there are more things to hide under and in, and god forbid the person your hiding from decides to check under the bed in which your taking cover, as they will pull you out and smash you onto the ground. Hard. Your only source of light (that you keep on your person) is the night vision on your camera. Using said night vision drains the energy ridiculously fast, forcing you to scavenge around to find spare batteries, all adding to the horror aspect of this game, and don’t get me wrong, the first few hours are downright terrifying, but later in the game it just gets... boring. Instead of hiding and hoping they don’t find me, I just started to run around not caring if they chased me or not. Getting hit takes barely any health away, and there are pauses between each attack of around 3 seconds. With it taking four or five hits to kill you, this can ruin the suspense real fast. I wasnt even staying away from people that might try to hit me, I just walked up face to face and waited for a response. Also almost nothing was memorable, hell, the last twenty seconds of the game are more impacting then the other ten hours and fifty minutes. There’s also almost no story, just documents telling what kind of medications the patients were on or maybe a sliver of their backstory. But I found the ending well done (of course the final "boss" enemy wasnt scary) and original, it just being a slap in the face, and by far the thing i liked most about this "scary" train wreck. By the time I reached hour six I was praying for it to end, not out of fear, but because of how painful it had become to play this. But no, it didn’t stop at six, or seven, or eight, it stopped at ELEVEN HOURS. ELEVEN. I was pissed, bored, frustrated, and had a headache that took hours to disappear by the time this game ended, and when I heard of an upcoming DLC I had to just lay down. But, even towards the end there are SOME good parts, like being in huge flooded room were its like walking through molasses while a big pig is chasing you around, and there’s nothing to hide in, and the only way out is by a ladder in the middle of the room which by the way is also the only place with light, so once your there piggers is going to see you and he moves FAST. If the game had been able to keep up the fear caused in the first few hours, it would have been a near perfect score. Pros: First few hours are scary as hell beautiful graphics great audio original and good ending improved hiding mechanics enemies look horrifying Cons: almost no story gets boring gets REALLY boring gets so boring I’m not going to recommend this game purely because of it Rate: 5/10 Rate (If Scary All The Way Through): 9/10 Only time I’d suggest this is if you’re a diehard Amnesia fan.

Sparkle 2 Evo... just a Flow clone? Many people say and think this is a Flow clone, I personally have never played Flow, nor have I watched videos so that will not be influencing this review. Sparkle 2 Evo is about a three hour long game, where you control a microorganism where your goal is to eat to evolve. What you evolve into depends on WHAT you eat, so eating red makes you a carnivore, blue an omnivore, and green an herbivore. Depending on which of the three you become you get special little extra stats, for example the carnivore being the fastest. What you eat ranges from bits of food floating around, to giant squids fifty times your size. Also each animal you eat requires a specific tactic to beat, for example using the tactic that’s used on a glass squid wouldn’t work on a skeleton, which makes the latter levels in the game more interesting, and creates some great, well thought out boss battles. There’s also an GenLab, so you can see which of the three traits you use the most, and what your current bonuses are (developers said you can use the lab to change your creature, leading to people believing your supposed to do it in the GenLab, but they were more getting at the fact that you can change your creature based on what you eat). There’s also a competitive mode where you try to eat more than the opposing AI, fun but not to interesting. Allot of complaints come from this game 'not looking good' or being pixelated, and not having the option to change resolutions. Well don’t listen to those, because you can adjust resolutions, and it can look damn near perfect on the highest settings. With that having been said, the visuals are beautiful, absolutely just full of vibrant colors, and this may actually be my favorite part of this game. Various corals, and other large debris define the maps, and change depending on the depths of the levels, and location, which I think can be really good at times. The music, well, isn’t amazing. It’s not BAD, but could have used a little more variety. Now for the problems, this game is buggy as heck. One of the more infamous glitches causes you to not be able to progress any further on a boss battle you just spent eight minutes trying to beat, forcing you to restart, and possibly having you do it a third time. Another major bug was a missing species that was required to be killed for an achievement, but recently this has been patched. The last bug I’m going to mention is when the keys stop working. Yes, they completely stop, even when you exit to the main menu and the level reloaded, they still won’t work, forcing you to shut down the game and restart it. And the biggest problem in the game, you can’t be hurt. Did a creature ten times your size just bite you? Well, better throw you up towards the surface then. This completely removes any urgency in the game, making it more boring than it should be (entertaining nonetheless). Pros: beautiful visuals complex evolution system good boss battles (sometimes boring though) Cons: bugs, glitches, etc. controls are… off your “compass” is confusing at first cant take damage I would recommend waiting for this game to go on sale (as it often does) if you get it. Score: 5/10 Score (if the three mentioned bugs were removed): 7/10

Bullet Candy... ARE YOU KIDDING 7 LIVES?! (Skip the first section if you don’t want to hear me ranting about the difficulty spikes, and just read the last two sections and the rating) Plain and simple, Bullet Candy is a twin-stick shooter where you fly a dinky little ship around space shooting other ships. And THANK GOD the developer put in those golden space ships that never ONCE helped me and had almost no purpose other than to give a score for the online leaderboards! Collecting can give you improved weapon damage? Guess what, NOT A SINGLE TIME HAVE I GOTTEN THAT IN COMBAT, ONLY IN THOSE POINTLESS BONUS LEVELS! Killing enemies also drops power ups that float around at various speeds, giving you 3 laser instead of 1, an extra life, invincibility, and some more of those wonderful points. But for the amount of lives you lose you’d think they would give you more health, or even a second weapon booster. This game is fun for most of its levels and I easily lost track of time while playing them, but some levels have such huge difficulty spikes causing you to loose EVERY FRICKEN LIFE YOU HAVE ON THAT 1 LEVEL. Hell, I lost 7 trying to beat the third to last level. That’s another thing, they hit you with the hardest level (not even a boss fight) right before the boss fights! So let’s say you have 10 lives saved up, you get to level 49, and you lose 7 of your lives on that level, leaving you with 3 lives to beat the two boss levels with. You then maybe lose 1 life on the first boss(s), leaving 2 for the final fight. Then you have to dodge its laser tentacles, missiles and laser bursts, which I never successfully beat (almost always lost on level 49 and when I didn’t I was left with a fraction of my lives). And guess what? YOU DONT GET ANY LIFE DROPS FOR THE LAST FOUR TURNS! What’s that? Level 49 took all but one of your lives and you want a few extra? WELL TO BAD HERES SOME BOSSES! This just absolutely ruined the game for me, and they actually expect you to be able to beat the whole game without any lives lost for an achievement. My best was level 25 without any lost lives, and of course then I got hit with a difficulty spike. I’ve also heard there’s unlockable modes you can play, but I never got to experience them BECUASE of those difficulty spikes. I want the game to be hard I just don’t want it to be so hard I punch the wall. If I sound like I’m just ranting, well, I am because THIS WAS ALL ON NORMAL. NOT HARD NOT EXPERT, BUT NORMAL. Now with all that said, I can start talking more about the actual game and not the difficulty. Now if you’re not playing to win, but instead just want to do something with a few spare minutes, then this can be pretty fun, or at least the first half of the game. There are the 3 standard difficulties, each putting you up against more and more enemies (I suggest normal if you want to beat all 51 levels and expert if you want to have a more fast paced game). There’s also an extended mode, where it adds 100 more levels, and also a turbo option, making the game go much faster. Having the game on expert with turbo mode activated is by far the most fun way to play this game. The visuals, well, aren’t there. In the videos shown on the store page there are beautiful, vibrant colors and effects, but that’s not currently in the game. Nope. Just some minor explosions and ugly looking graphics, which really disappoints because that was the best thing this game has to offer, but nope. Not there. The music is pretty bad to, and luckily there’s the option to shut it off entirely. I’m lucky I only spent a dollar on this game, but even on sale I couldn’t recommend this game, and from what I’ve heard you’d just be better off just buying Geometry Wars. Pros: turbo Expert Difficulty fun online Ranking big enemy variety (if the visuals had stayed the same as in the video they’d be here to) Cons: Everything else Rate: 3/10 Rate (if the visuals were same as in video): 4/10 Rate (if difficulty spikes disappeared): 6/10 Rate (if both the two problems above were fixed): 8/10

Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition... And I’m all out of bubblegum. Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition is a serious upgrade over the classic Duke Nukem 3D, improving the visuals greatly, and adding the episode "The Birth". Also, it comes with Duke Nukem 3D: Classic, Duke it Out in D.C, Duke: Nuclear Winter, Duke Caribbean: Life's a Beach, and even the level editor. Duke Nukem 3D Megaton Edition: You play as the badass Duke Nukem as you fight the alien invaders using an arsenal of 10 kickass weapons, ranging from kicking them in the face with mighty foot to the fully automatic rocket launcher, the devastator. You play through 4 episodes, each with multiple levels each spanning across many different locations, like Las Angeles and the Grand Canyon. There is also a handful of secret levels, and dozens if not over a hundred secrets to find which give you extra ammo, stronger weapons, or even have easter eggs, my favorite being the deceased Doom Guy. You also have the four standard difficulties going from easiest to hardest: Piece of Cake, Let's Rock, Come Get Some, and Damn I’m Good. Increasing the difficulty changes how much damage enemies do, how many spawn, and while on Damn I’m Good dead enemies will even respawn. I recommend starting on Let's Rock, and once you have some experience switch to Come Get Some. User-made levels can be installed and played, and there’s apparently a multiplayer beta. Duke Nukem 3D Classic: Same campaign as Duke Nukem 3D Megaton Edition, minus "The Birth" episode. The graphics are pretty bad, just a little bit better than Heretic's, and moving your view is difficult because the sensitivity is so sluggish, even at the highest. Three user-made maps are available to play: SE, ST, and ZOO. Add-ons: Duke it Out in D.C Some of the longest and tedious levels there are. Duke: Nuclear Winter Travel to the North Pole to kick Santa's and his evil elves asses. Duke Caribbean: Life's a Beach New skins for weapons and enemies... fun. I suggest getting this either if you like the Doom franchise, you’re a fan of the 1996 release, or if you’re looking for hours of old school kicking. Rating: 9/10

CHAPTERS 1 & 2 The main protagonist is a cop/detective who is tasked to find 4 criminals, all while trying to avoid being killed by various traps, ghosts, and animated statues. The setting is creepy, dark, and beautifully done. Levels vary from being outside with walls of spikes all around you to the interior of old, dark castles. The game tries to scare you, but doesn’t do a great job doing so, but there are some pretty scary moments, like being chased by a huge statue when you can only see 5 feet in front of you, or when you’re running through the darkness hoping your torch doesn’t die out leaving you vulnerable to the ghosts that dwell there. The fear from this game comes more from psychological things instead of physical objects or beings, like seeing a man being tortured with a device intended to rip the flesh from your bones. All that and the grainy visual effects still are not enough to make this game reach the level of horror they were probably attempting to achieve. There are notes and small statues you can search around for, while the statues unlock achievements, the notes are basically the only story there is in this game, and it could have been done better. Pros: Beautiful environments. Some fun moments. Voicing by Sam A. Mowry. Cons: Controls are bad. Very short (60-90 minutes). Boring for most of the game. Tries to be scary, but fails most of the time. Score: 5/10 CHAPTERS 3 & 4 -not released yet-

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

Many people like Swarm Arena, but I don’t. This game had potential, but didn’t live up to it. Swarm Arena is a fast paced arcade game where you fight opponents with drones, which are your own personal guards or soldiers depending on the situation. Pickups randomly spawn on the map giving you special moves, life, shields, and even more drones to fight with, also you have a large amount of strategies to use, like having your drones form a spinning shield around you, or setting them to defend you. You can also practice in the Sandbox mode, which is lacking but interesting nonetheless. Leaderboards and multiplayer is included, while also being able to play with two people on one PC. This game looks great with the different colors of drones mixing in combat, the background particles that move depending on what’s happening, and the various cosmic rips that block your drones and explode over time. A problem I had is the AI seemed to either be way too easy, or being impossible to beat, which doesn’t lead to a fun time, and I got bored pretty quick playing this game. Pros: Beautiful visuals. Cool powerups. Strategic abilities. Multiplayer. Cons: Music is repetitive, and gets annoying after a while. AI is either WAY too weak or insanely hard. Gets boring after a couple of hours. Rate: 4/10 Get this if you’re only looking for a couple of hours’ worth of fun, and better yet wait for it to go on sale.