Marsbarista

Dear god. Just dear god. I rented this steamer from a blockbuster back in the day. Thank god. The one saving grace was that I could bring this demon seed back to the store along with my dvd of The Abyss. This game is cursed. It's a deeply unfun experience, both because of the controls and gameplay, but also because of how absolutely terrible the story and characters are. The dialogue is like something out of CSI: Miami, but like after they've gotten drunk. I have deep seeded personal hatred for this game. When I think of bad games, this is what comes up in my mind.

This has to be like a definitively bad game to me. I bought this piece of crap from a gamespot when I was a teenager and wasted my money. I even tried to bring it back to the store, unsuccessfully. I want my money back Codemasters! sixty dollars! I want it back! Even you don't know, this game is unfun, broken, boring, and stupid. Don't trust anyone who says otherwise. It is so incredibly bad. So many games become delisted or unplayable over the passage of time. I feel like this game should be intentionally delisted or something.

DQ XI is an ridiculously cute, happy, uplifting, fairy-tale like game. The world is so charming and the art is amazing. Sylvando was my favourite character. But yeah, what a fantastic story and the old school rpg roots are pretty fun as well. Highly recommend this game.

Dark Souls II is definitely the worst of the Soulsborne series, without reservation. It has nice environments and ultimately it is still a From Software experience, however it tries a few different things that don't work especially well. The feel of the game is slightly off as well and it is quite janky. There are lots of people who will defend the combat system to the ends of the earth, but for me, I just don't see it. It doesn't work well, it doesn't feel good, and it's not exactly enjoyable. I am willing to give a game a lot of time and forgiveness for that stuff if other things work, but DS II just doesn't pull through enough in the areas where it does work to really win me over. It's not a bad game, but comparing it to the others, it definitely rests at the bottom for me. Worst of all, the bosses are really underwhelming and repetitive. Repetitive bosses are a common complaint for DS II, and in this case I think it is warranted. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, if you can divorce DS II, as an experience, away from the others in the series it could be judged more on its own merits. Maybe. I personally find that difficult to do. Lots of people do seem to love it though, so power to them.

A serviceable Star Trek licensed game for DS9 fans. The character models all look pretty good, the UI is accurate, the sound design is authentic. It's fun! Even if it's a little dated or janky, it's fun and cool. It is worthwhile for being able to walk the promenade alone.

A true classic. Don't let the visuals make you believe otherwise. The story, the world, the music, they all hold up. The gameplay is turn-based which may be a barrier to some, but sincerely, I recommend you try to get your head around that, if only to experience the beautiful world. It is best enjoyed during the dark and cold winter months. The game is not always mechanically perfect, but it is still fairly solid. Beyond that, it is a game that is more than the sum of its parts, and its beauty is not easily expressed. A lot of nay-sayers will try to call it dated, criticize the visuals, or the turn-based combat. I would say that those might be deal breakers for you, but I genuinely believe that if you give this a shot you will see what people see in this classic.

Cyberpunk is an unremarkable, cynical, poorly written, obnoxious game. Even without all the bugs, it fails on all counts. The shooting is not good, the game design is tedious, the world is dirty and ugly, and the body horror is exhausting. The music is truly truly awful. It claims to be an rpg but provides no classes, few customization options, and doesn't even let you pick a name. Deus Ex is a much better RPG, any of them. The character creator is also gimmicky, and is far worse than many older games even. The world building is idiotic. I find myself rolling my eyes fairly regularly. Also, apparently in the future everyone looks like gigantic jack-wagon. Not a good game. Admittedly, I had very little good will going into this given the games edgelord marketing, (a context that makes the whole Bladerunner "Edgerunner" ripoff even more ridiculous) and I have to say it is somewhat vindicating to watch CDPR fail so spectacularly. They named one of the first characters you meet "Pepe". Bite me. I played this on a beefy computer. I am significantly above recommended specs. Even with that the game is profoundly broken. It just looks awful. Do not spend money on this, do not encourage CDPR. They need to be put in timeout for squirting out this demon-seed. It's not the worst game of all time, but taken as a whole, it is awful. Play something else. It is repulsive and idiotic. As I write this, Jackie's chopstick has just frozen in mid air.