HughMBehavior

Execrable writing. ZERO respect for the lore. Complete narcissistic self-insert "modern audiences" storytelling. DESPICABLE. Star Wars has BEEN dead, but if you thought it was coming back after this, you are a complete and utter fool. Kennedy took a billion dollar boys franchise & turned it into a some-amount-of-millions dollar forceIzFemale. Good for her I guess? To paraphrase Tolkien: "Evil cannot create it can only defile." Quod Erat Demonstratum. (+1 for good music.)

Enjoy Star Trek while you can. I do not expect any more good Trek in my lifetime unless it is when I am very old. The series has passed back to the execrable Bad Reboot Kurtzman crew. This was a stealth Terry Metalus season. Terry, you see, actually likes Star Trek & managed to sneak this season in as a coda for The Next Generation crew. Now that he's revived it, the Bad Reboot scum will take back over. Every other Star Trek for the past decade? The Kurtzman stuff? GARBAGE from someone who hates Trek. This is all you are getting. 8 points. Deserves a 7, but I'm rounding up for Terry's effort.

Has there ever been a worse writers' room for a TV show? Perhaps, but no examples spring to mind. I mean "worse" both morally and skill-wise. Read between the lines & infer the writers' character, their "morals," their ethics, their worldview: selfish to the point of solipsism, ZERO empathy, only sympathy for people exactly like themselves. Twisted morals, no CONCEPT of self-sacrifice, misandrist. If you know one of these writers, *do not date her. Do not marry her. Do not befriend her. Decline being a bridesmaid. NEVER make them a personal loan, because these are the sort of raging narcissists that can explain away all their bad behavior with delusional interior monologues.* Seriously, these women are HORRIFIC PEOPLE. And extremely untalented, but the former overshadows that. I didn't particularly like Ms. Marvel, felt the narcissism coming off the show-runner, character was basically a self-insert.... and yet I didn't feel the need to rate it (4, +2-3 for the target audience) or to say bad things about the author. Date her if you like. These authors though? I'm actually offended by their UTTER lack of empathy & good character.

Goofy AF. After-school-special'ly. Melodramatic. So-so martial artists. Weak fight choreography. Plot best summed up by a couple 4th wall breaking asides such as "what is it with this town and karate riots?" And yet it's a GREAT SHOW. Why? SOLID writing & RESPECT for the fans via respect for the source material. In other words *the exact opposite of Disney+, Lucasfilm, and Bored of the Rings on Amazon.* 1. Instead of SKIMPING on the writer's room and "casting" writers for skin tone, sexual orientation or gender, they started with writers who love the material, know the material, know how to write a TV show, and have had more life experience than "college + 3 years in Hollywood." 2. Instead of "let's get rid of all the OOOOKY white male patriarch oppressors & replace them with Mary Sues of color," they give the original characters their due, THEN move on to new characters. And since it's set in LA of course the cast is diverse. ORGANICALLY. Isn't it funny how Netflix doesn't feel the need to call Cobra Kai fans racist? Real Scooby Doo mystery there. 3. Humor. Who knew William Zabka was such a great comic actor? Apparently no one till 7 years ago. Who knew the best comedy comes from character? Every great sitcom writer. NO writers at Di$nee. "D Plus" and Bored of the Rings look great but are (near) universally awful to watch. Cobra Kai looks cheap, but every season is worth your while. It's all about the writers and respecting the fans by respecting the source material.

In lieu of slagging this abomination, here's HOW TO PUT BLACK CHARACTERS IN A TOLKIEN SHOW: 1. One does not simply tokenize Tolkien. 2. Instead, GO FOR IT and make The Wire: Tolkien Edition (greatest television show of all time. >50% black cast.) 3. Set the show in the Tolkien South. Harad I believe. 4. Thus most of the characters will be black/Semetic/Arabic. 5. Since the Haradrim are allies of Sauron in The Red Book, I suggest a tragic story of how the good Haradrim were eventually overcome by Sauron's entreaties & Game of Thrones style evil vizier types... yet the good Haradrim score a victory in defeat & escape to form a better society elsewhere. Or die tragic hero-style. Whichever et cetera 6. You'll need a better Tolkien scholar than I (and I am a better Tolkien scholar than any of these DESPICABLE hacks.) 7. Hey, who's a great Tolkien scholar one might employ? TOM SHIPPEY? Too bad the hacks fired him eh? Final thoughts: a. Make it more Wire by writing the villains somewhat sympathetic & the heroes occasionally villainous. b. Say the damn dialogue out loud & make it sound like something... what do you call those thingies?... oh, HUMANS. Make it sound like PEOPLE talking. c. Bring in Red Book Tolkien with characters evocative of the original & guest stars: human traders, dwarven emissaries, Legolas on walkabout, maybe even Aragorn makes it down. He's OLD AF & probably ranged that way eh? Aragorn could help for half a season & suggest where the good Haradrim flee, then take his leave 'cause the Dunedain will need him. Etc. I'm just spitballing here, and already I've HALF-WRITTEN A BETTER SHOW that's WAY MORE DIVERSE but not TOKENIZED. That's how bad Amazon F'd the pooch. Wow. You **** Amazon. You **** Bad Reboot. It might fail... but at least it would not be an ABOMINATION in failing. Amazon is gonna lose a LOT of money here. GOOD. They've lost $5,000 in spend from me already. I was a HEAVY Prime buyer. Now I'm not a Prime buyer. F OFF Amazon. You are being gatekept. F OFF "new religion" fake Tolkien fans. You are being GATEKEPT. We protect what we love from evil cultists like yourselves. We welcome new fans. We GATEKEEP subverters in a new fan skinsuit. It confounds you that I am literally asking for a MOSTLY BLACK TOLKIEN SHOW, does it not? I'd explain, but I do not bandy words with witless fools.

Well shot, well-edited, writing is better than Disney+ garbage level (i.e. above mediocre,) nice New Mexico scenery (this ain't shot in Arizona much if at all, though it's mostly set there. I lived right next to the Rez for years & spent plenty of time out there.) For half an ep or so I figured it would be an organically diverse show instead of Disney+ "duhversity," but then it became clear that every Native or black character is a soulful saint/soulful saint with one flaw, every white character a villain, a bigot, or a villainous bigot. In other words: just more woke trash. Maybe Noah Emmerich will learn what a horrible white privileged bigot he is by the end. That's called a "redemption arc" in woke trash parlance. I won't be around to see his talent wasted on trite 2022 cliché though.

I mean this 100% sincerely: I would rather watch the hypothetical Rian Johnson trilogy. At least it wouldn't be another lame "prequel." At least he could emasculate his *own* characters instead of every old hero. At least it would be visually novel. At least it would only break general Star Wars world building/canon instead of ruining the old characters in detail. At least it wouldn't be another bait-n-switch where the hero is shown up by our ever-so-wonderful Mary Sue du'jour. Also the writing would be better. It would be BAD 'cause Rian can't write well, but he's at least better than a D+ writer. With the exception of Wandavision's first half, these are some SERIOUS scrubs writing for D+. No talent, no work ethic. Most of them *don't even thoroughly watch the source material* before they begin "subverting" it & pushing THE MESSIGE. Hacks. Arrogant hacks. Shame, 'cause this was an easy win. Instead we have juvenile narrative, weak dialogue, & characters molded to fit the narrative instead of the converse. Pathetic.

Do you enjoy it when Holywood makes your favorite franchises put the lotion on it's skin then flenses them & wears that skin like a gristle suit to sell shows full of "THE MESSSSIGGE"? Well of course you do! Here's another one for you. Not the worst of them at least. 3.5 stars, round down to 3. If Halo was a franchise I cared about much, probably be a 2.

SAAAAAAD TROMBONE WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAAH But it's a FEMINIST sad trombone, so it's like the bestEST sad trombone like EVARRRRR. It's so sad it's a HAPPY TROMBONE. I totally deconstructed & subverted your sad trombone expectations right? The Holywood Reporter will probably give this episode review an A+++.

Okay, I'm making The Witcher. I've got Henry Cavil, and he's excited 'cause he's a big fan of the superb video game. Ladies love that guy! Guys too. Man, I can't lose. So HERE is what I do: I make it 2/3 about Yennifer & her fellow sorceresses. GOD I am so smart. I am just the smartest. The normal thing would be to keep Henry on the screen 80% of the time & keep the ladies drooling, but NOPE, a super smart genius like me knows what fans want is for me to SUBVERRRRRRRT THEIR EXPECTAYSHUNNNS and make a story about the tribulations of overworked sorceresses. Sort of a Sorceress workplace dramedy if you will. With a... wait for it!... very extremely subtle feminist undertone. Bet you didn't expect that 2021! God I'm so smart. Probably the smartestest.

Blizzard is a ship of fools. That's what I learned after reading these reviews & watching the first ep. How idiotic to never make a show like this Riot Games cinematic writ large for Netflix. GREAT animation, almost Miazaki level. Blizzard could have surely done something different but equivalent for World of Warcraft or Overwatch... just like they could have bought DOtA or hired the devs, given that it was based on Warcraft 3. But no. SHIP. OF. FOOLS. On a sea of stupid. We don't even NEED to, uh, "touch" on their asinine behavior. As for the show proper, it's gorgeous and seems to have some real emotion behind it. I'm gonna give it an 8 for now & revise after I've seen the whole season. Maybe up, maybe down, depends on the characterization & whether the art stays consistent, whether it breaks for the 4th wall to preach at us, & whether it turns into a giant ad for Riot Games. (My biggest worry is pure 2020: the Girl Who Might Be the Key To Everything has Girl Who Acts Just Like A Man SJW Hair (pink with side shaved.) That's never a good sign, but hopefully the show turns out to be a show not a "plaaaaaatform.") EDIT: solid storytelling. Raised my 8 to a 9. Netflix, wake up: this is what happens when someone who CARES about a show (& game) runs the show. You call tell that few of Netflix's hired guns care about much more than "moar connnnntent" & a paycheck. Imagine if The Witcher was run by a real Witcher fan for example...

Seth, Sarah, I'm SO so so so so so sorry you didn't get to have Christmas as children. Nah, not sorry. It was pre-karma for elf-nipples, methhead reindeer & oh-so-trite.... YAWWWWWWWN.... 2021 politics Christmas-wrapped like a turd in a Macy's gift box. This is why I don't pay for HBO Max. Granted I watch it, but pay for it? LOL! No. Chance. I remember when those 2 were *actually funny* too. Now the only funny thing they could possibly produce would be hidden camera footage of a circle-fart-sniffing at Payton Oswald's house. "OOOOOOOH my you are SOOOOO talented! I can just SMELLzies the talent from here," says Sarah. "OMG sniffing my butthole is just so stunning and brave," says Seth. I won't tell you what Payton's doing. It'd be just another scene in this film, but still...

About Me & Wheel of Time: I've read em all. Pretty solid up until 7 or 8 when Jordan goes senile & spends half of each book w/ 3 page descriptions of dresses & tea sets. Sanderson manages to wrap it up competently into a B-level series. Props to Jordan for being a man of character & making sure the story got finished for the fans.... unlike SOME authors we might mention who will never finish their series. (That's right, he ain't never finishing. Put it out of your head, GRRM fans. And he said he won't pass the outline on, the schmuck.) Me & This Show, Positives: Casting is pretty good. The kid's acting will improve. Adaptation isn't too bad. I don't mind that they adultified it. Jordan always seemed a bit infantile on that score, and this is not Lord of the Rings. You can bet I won't be so happy with elf/hobbit orgies in LotR (& they are coming, believe me,) but here it seems a good choice. Trollocs & fades look GREAT. I'm glad they went full-on with the violence & gore: it gives weight to the main characters' plight & mission(s.) Special effects & locations solid in general. They spent serious money. Rafe Judkins has real experience running shows, so this should get better. (Judging from Chuck & Agents of Shield, it should improve substantially s02 on. It needs to. My 6 is closer to a 5 than a 7.) Neutral: The Diversity: non-white actors gotta work too, and this ain't written to be purely Northern European mythos like LotR, so I have no problems with a multi-racial reiteration *generally.* The Questioner & Padain Fain are stand-outs in fact. However... Negative: The DUHversity: did the "Blood of Manethrin" somehow run down a thousand years+ sustaining multiple shades of people? That's DUHversity for ya. They should have just cast the whole Two Rivers with Indians/Bangladeshi/Pakistanis or Latinos or whatever. Doesn't fracture the 4th wall, and then Rand & Tam stand out more as outsiders grown insider. My other negatives are shared with the books. As I said, it's a B, B minus series overall. If I was gonna drop 10M an ep I would choose The First Law or The Name of the Wind (presuming I could see a good outline for the last of that trilogy.) Maybe even The Malazan Cycle. Fortunately The Wheel of Time is a. FINISHED & b. editable. The relative lack of plot in books 8-13 will be easily compressible by a good editor, and the show's editors will have had lots of practice if they make it that far. Sanderson wraps it up pretty well if so. There's a fair chance this could exceed the books.

Look Apple, there's woke n' then there's WOAHKE. You wanna add a bunch of female astronauts to For All Mankind, I don't really mind. Even if no female has ever come within an order of magnitude of meeting IRL astronaut standards--typically they're short roughly a 2nd PhD, a few thousand flight hours, & a few steps on the fitness ladder--they did justify it in the script, and it's not like a woman with only one PhD & lots of combat pilot experience is gonna be BAD per se. Plus the actresses are GREAT. I mean, it's Hollywood. I expect Left messaging. So long as you keep authoritarian Woke Cultist dogma to a minimum I'm cool with it. For All Mankind mostly succeeds at that. This ain't For All Mankind. OH NO. This ain't that. No, this is WHOAKE. This is another FUBARed franchise the writer & showrunners see as more of a "platform" than entertainment. Platforms don't need to respect the creator, the story, the original message. No, plaaaaaatforms are for pedophilic cocaine-addict social climbing backstabbing hypocrites to lecture us plebes about "Brexit, MeToo, the ascent of nationalism... climate change." Plaaaaaatforms are full of Magical Mary Sues, not actual women with actual flaws who actually get hurt sometimes. Plaaaaatforms take a story that's basically SciFi War & Peace, a story about the insigificance of the individual in the face of history & turn it into a story about The AMAZINGEST GAL EVARR who is just totes the key to everything. In For All Mankind, one of the astronaut ladies dies heroically wrapped in duct tape with blood coming out every pore & her eyes. Here the blood will pour out of yours. You will have strained them with 10,000 whiplash eyerolls. It is REALLY pretty though. 3 points for that.

Could have been great. Instead we get more trite slimy Holywood Religion straight from the bowels of BirdApp to your screen as if to your car window. Anyone surprised?

Mediocre. Like Orson Scott Card phoned one in. Production values are high though, and there ain't much else to watch... For once the critics have it right (probably because there's nothing SJW to slavishly fawn over, although one of the main characters is kind of transgender. Totally congruent to the story, not contrived.)