BakaHaram

This movie just murders the competition in the documentary genre. It tells the truth about God with deadly accuracy, proving that Jesus was a Supreme Gentleman. This movie kills any hope of atheists who say that God wasn't indeed the most beautiful and nice guy in the world. People who don't like this film are disgusting buzz cut jocks and evil sex-crazed females, and I think we should destroy them if we wanna build a truly fair, pure world.

This is a masterpiece, very realistic, gripping, terrifying movie about what could happen as a result of nuclear tests. Godzilla looks very lifelike and behaves like a really smart animal. This movie is a milestone of action films, it's on the level of Jurassic Park. And I don't like how the Japanese plagiarized the ideas of the brilliant Roland Emmerich and made a bunch of their crappy, trashy, low-budget remakes. This movie was a serious drama, and Japan turned it into a laughing stock of badly designed puppets.

This movie is THE TRUTH, guys! Renny Harlin is THE PROPHET of the GLORIOUS WESTERN CIVILIZATION! You can't underestimate the RUSSIAN MENACE, because they are planning right now the TAKEOVER and CONQUEST of Ukraine AND SUBSEQUENTLY ALL THE OTHER EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRIES!!! In less than 10 years RUSSIAN EVIL HOMOPHOBES will send their war planes to conquer AMERICA, and only Renny Harlin, the great Finnish visionary, could predict it! Russians are indeed every bit as evil as this movie show, I can say that because I've lived in Russia for 3 months and during that time I had my TV STOLEN 3 TIMES, I WAS MUGGED 4 TIMES AND **** BY A MUSCULAR BOXER 2 TIMES!!! Russia is a horrible place, it's like a Mordor to our Gondor, and we must DESTROY RUSSIA!!! SEND THE DRONES OBAMA!!! SAVE US FROM THE EVIL LORD PUTIN!!! p.s. sorry that i rated this movie 0 i wanted to rate it 10 but i have brain damage from mugging a russian boxer hit me in the head and now i'm on breathing support and i can't think straight and i dont know how to change rating sorry please forgive me

[SPOILER ALERT: This review contains spoilers.]

This movie is like Cloverfield without the shaky cam and with a screenplay written by a 10 year old fan of GI Joe and Godzilla action figures. Godzilla is actually on screen for a total of whopping 10 minutes! But maybe it's a blessing, because he looks like Michael Moore in a zoo fetish suit.

This movie is every bit as pretentious, dull and comically serious as The Dark Knight. Only it's a lot dumber and has dialogue so bad, even some 5th graders could write better. It boggles my mind that some people call this movie "cerebral". If you had to actually think to understand something in this movie, your IQ is probably not very high. Try not to overload your brain with this amazing masterpiece of complex screenwriting.

Even if you watch 9/11 tapes while reading conspiracy theories on the internet and listening to Silencer, you won't have a more depressing, humorless, dull, pseudo-complex, deadly serious experience than Inception. This movie proves that Chris "Just doin' it for money" Nolan doesn't know what a joke is. His daddy raised him to be a true no-nonsense businessman, and businessmen can never lighten up! They also cannot make art, they can make only carefully engineered, emotionally inept, heartless blockbusters.

This movie is so dry, pretentious and humorless that my cat became depressed after watching it with me and starved herself to death. Also all the expository dialogue and mindless pop philosophy made me schizophrenic. I'm now sharpening my knives and ordering the Halloween mask from EBay. Close your windows, Chris "Pretentious Hack" Nolan, I'm gonna avenge my kitty!

This is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen, second only to Zoo. It really captures the bravery of the heroes that allowed humanity to survive to this day. Okay, now I gotta get back to work. There's a lot of things in the ark that need fixing!

This is the best disaster movie ever. It's got apocalyptic atmosphere, flawless effects and a beautiful soundtrack. But more importantly, it has people running away from the cold! They literally run away from cold weather that's chasing them down corridors like Michael Myers! Isn't that hilarious?