Pocket Pool (2007)

A better-than-expected billiards and snooker sim can be found under the somewhat sleezy, “Skinemax” softcore wrapping.

Pocket Pool is the perfect billiards experience for those who enjoy fondling their cue stick.

You can disrupt the opponent while they “think” about their shot – it’s a nice touch, but they “think” for several seconds before every shot, dragging the game to a crawl. The character portraits get in the way, and if you turn them off, your power meter goes away too.

We all know that sex sells, especially when it comes to nerdy, dateless, video gamers. But when you use sex to sell a totally broken and dysfunctional game built on a sport that I truly love, well, you have gone too far.

There are some other amusing so-good-it's-bad features, like the selection of awful porno music or the quasi-sulty voiceovers in the tutorial.

Pocket Pool largely fails as a billiards simulation, and completely fails as a source of titillation. Go to the local pool hall and talk to some flesh and blood women instead.

If Pocket Pool developer Hyper-Devbox were really smart, it would stop beating around the bush and come up with an Official PSP Porn Viewer, with all the bells and whistles you'd expect from iPhoto. Masquerading this nonsense around as a game that people are expected to pay money for when pool halls are cheap, photos of women are free, and good PSP games are plentiful -- well, it's embarrassing for everyone involved.