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Castlevania makes a compelling argument for Warren Ellis never writing another word again. Or at least, for no-one else ever stooping so low as to read it. Castlevania is sometimes interesting to look at (during the 2 minutes of action nested within over 20 minutes of absolute stock-still non-animation and bad dialogue performed badly). It is never, over the course of 4 seasons, an interesting story. It is paint-by-numbers done poorly. It is the most basic, unimaginative hero's journey told so sloppy that a fool might mistake it for creativity. It's real, honest garbage. And most of all, ANYONE could do better. Warren Ellis, do us all a favor and hang up your quill.

There should be a requirement that if a story is below a certain threshold of competence, the animation should have to be at least watchable. DOTA: Dragon's Blood is that rare abomination in which the story and art seem to be competing for last place. Execrable is a strong word; it's also a bit too generous.

Come for Jimmy Tatro and Sasheer Zamata. Stay despite everybody and everything else about the show. It's not a great show. It's probably not even a good show. Heck, I never miss an episode and I'm willing to admit that it's a straight-up BAD show. That's just how good Sasheer Zamata and Jimmy Tatro are. This show could be twice as bad and half as good and I'd still watch it for JT and SZ.

Che's faux-progressive schtick would be more tolerable if his sketches were funny.

The unsolvable problem is that Pedrad plays Chad without an ounce of believability or empathy. Chad is the weird, extreme character in an SNL sketch, except that this is a full series and we can't just cut away permanently when Chad does something so extreme that it makes it impossible for the narrative to continue believably or for other characters to react in a grounded way. If you ever wondered why sketches are never long than 5 minutes, watch Chad.

The Nevers plays out like the laziest, most scattered, self-congratulatory faux-progressive tripe that a white man could possibly write. Here, we have more than enough evidence to argue that Joss Whedon should never be allowed near a script or camera or actor again.

Watch it for the action; do your best to ignore the plot and dialogue. Don't think about character arcs; they're either absent or self-contradictory and hollow. Just look at the punching. It's a show about punching. It should have had maybe 20 lines of dialogue in the whole first season.

Girls5Eva feels as though Tina Fey banished every level-headed person in her employ and, in their place, hired your regressive, unfunny uncle. The brand of humor here seems to be "Stereotypes are funny," and exactly nothing else.

Underwritten and over-acted, Hacks makes a strong case that the greatest hacks of all are the people who think that a drama about stand-up comedy makes for compelling television.

Rutherford Falls isn't just rough around the edges; it's jaggedly uneven right down to its core. There's plenty to love - Michael Greyeyes is simply undeniable; Jana Schmieding shows astounding chops for a first-timer. But tragically, it's not their show. It's the Nathan Rutherford show, a colicky bigot who is kind when the plot demands it and is a colicky bigot when narratively convenient. Perhaps a better actor-comedian could have pulled the many, many disparate and incongruent elements of Nathan's personality together. Unfortunately, they got Ed Helms.